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It has recently occurred to me that when I look around at my life that my life is telling a story. A story that I have formed and fashioned over many years and with the help of many people. In stepping outside of my I am I see that I am what I have created, and I am what I have believed. I have also noticed that I will go to any length to keep that story from being proven wrong. Subtly oh so subtly. This is why it is so important for me to recap daily, and to do autolysis. I can also see this in others, which is really just me seeing it in myself. I had a nasty bickering with my darling husband last night. I was so angry that he did not do what I had asked him to do. I was so angry that he did not take care of me...no one has ever taken care of me...then at 0330 this morning, I woke up...I had a terrible neck ache...I was so angry I clenched and slept wrong and got a kink in my neck. So to punish my husband I got up (who was I punishing again?) and I mulled the incident over and over in my mind. I felt how hurt I was I experienced the anger again and again...then, in a moment I knew what was the real issue. I was reinforcing my own story of who I am. Very subtly...very sneaky of me. I should never have left that responsibility with my husband...its not his job to make me safe secure or take care of me. Its his job to be him. Its my job to take responsibility for myself, for I am the only person that really matters, and the only person that I can control. This is but one example of finding Mu (which is my new thing btw) by rooting out the story that I tell myself, keep what works, shitcan the rest.
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This is quote about expectations and how it manifest our minds.
The potential damage caused by holding unrealistic expectations comes from how it affects the way we perceive information. Expectations are mental representations of what some future moment will look, sound, taste, smell, or feel like. Expectations come from what we know. This makes sense, because we can't expect something that we have no knowledge or awareness of. What we know is synonymous with what we have learned to believe about the ways in which the external environment can express itself. What we believe is our own personal version of the truth. When we expect something, we are projecting out into the future what we believe to be true.We are expecting the outside environment a minute, an hour, a day, a week, or a month from now to be the way we have represented it in our minds. We have to be careful about what we project out into the future, because nothing else has the potential to create more unhappiness and emotional misery than an unfulfilled expectation. When things happen exactly as you expect them to, how do you feel? The response is generally wonderful (including feelings like happiness, joy, satisfaction, and a greater sense of well-being), unless, of course, you were expecting something dreadful and it manifested itself. Conversely, how do you feel when your expectations are not fulfilled? The universal response is emotional pain. Everyone experiences some degree of anger, resentment, despair, regret, disappointment, dissatisfaction, or betrayal when the environment doesn't turn out to be exactly as we expected it to be (unless, of course, we are completely surprised by something much better than we imagined). Here's where we run into problems. Because our expectations come from what we know, when we decide or believe that we know something, we naturally expect to be right.
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Wise words here White Knight. I agree, without expectations we will never be disapointed. We only run into problems when we begin to live outside of this moment and direct our intent into the future or the past. Guess that's the importance of living in the now.
Beautiful.
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