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I was 12 years old and a birthday party was being planned for my sister and I that day and we were quite excited about it.
Liz and I were on the road playing marbels when a girl called Mary Golf (American) came up to us with a wooden club and demanded that if she was not invited to our birthday party she would beat us with it.
We both said no way and Mary started hitting us with the club very hard, we tried to stop here but she was very tall and huge. Anyway, Liz and I ended up with some serious bruises and the party was only hours away.
We dared not tell our mother,'cus she would cancel the party.
Something changed profoundly within me after that experience, it was like innocence lost.
To be continued another time...
I'm hitting the hay. G' Night
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Goodnight Lillian.
Hurt from others carries change.
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This scene all boils down to the idea:
"If you don't love me - I'll kill you."
So next meditation session you see this idea in yourself, your life, and the world.
Then it will 'all boil down' to something else.
Meanwhile you'll be making more and more room in 'your computer' by exchanging '1000 MG's' of data for crystalized objective thoughts.
Carry on.
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I wrote out a recap and saved it to my files, lol
Looking forward to hearing your recaps.
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comes from above.
Only one who is immortal can say:
"If you don't love me you'll die."
An impartial statement on very higher levels.
If Jesus is immortal, and you don't love him - you'll die.
If God is immortal - and you don't love 'him' - you'll die.
"if you don't love me you'll die."
You can say that if you're an immortal being.
Now continue with your recapitulation.
There are many people like you, that think that recap is to get stuck on a negative imprint. . . and they just stay there. . . . unless a higher being tells them to "carry on"
Lots of recapitulaters just get stuck on a blame and can't continue without the Meditation Instructor.
You have to blow out all the times you have told this line to others. . . . in further hopes of reaching such an incredible goal.
It's blackmail on one level, immortality on another.
Recap is to highten your imprints.
The nerve system takes pictures, and you want to coat your nerve system with gold one day.
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Age 12
I was chosen to go with my parents to Canada., Liz did not want to go, she was looking forward to spending 3 weeks with our cousins without parents around.
My Mother was going into hospital for a non existent medical problem and she wanted me around so that Daddy would not be left alone for a moment.
I was very excited about the trip but for one problem that troubled me greatly. I was a bed wetter and my mother used to tell people about it plus she beat and punished me daily for wetting my bed, till it reached the stage of me sleeping on the hard cold floor to get away from the beatings.
And of course, it happend in Canada at Glenda's home where we were staying. I felt so ashamed and tried to wash the sheet in the bathroom and iron it before anyone found out.,but Glenda did find out and approached me. She was very good about it and provided a waterproof under my sheet,, she also washed the sheet in the mornings, I became so relaxed that I stopped wetting the bed for the last two weeks in Canada.
My life was plagued with fear and shame for many years because of the bed wetting and it did not stop till I left home at 17 then it stopped completely.
Su
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Interesting how it would seem the punishment for the innocent act caused the act to continue more than anything else.
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Hey Su!
That's a rather yucky memory, huh.
I was wondering if you might try to write a good memory here, kinda to counteract or balance this one you've shared.
The bad stuff seems to stick and cover the good stuff, huh.
love, Crow
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Recap is to get past any good/evil judgements. . . your advice ain't so hot. There is much stuck useful energy in seemingly shameful experiences, and that's what Sue's talking about.
I'll tell her how to continue in a while. . .
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So there's an imprint that you are supposed to control your instinctive center and to be aware of it.
You are not suppose to soil things with your piss, you are supposed to keep things like that on the left side and not bring them into the public realm.
To continue your recap: Meditate on what if for the left side, and what is for the right. What is the inner life and what is for the world.
Many peope speak here on these message boards about left sife stuff, bedroom and bathroom stuff, that is left side stuff and not meant for the public realm.
Many people get 'famous' for being inside out and putting things on the table of life that are meant to stay private.
Carry on. . .wih this theme.
Yogi Bear
Meditation Instructor.
Woman that meditate need to do it 6 days a week 1 hour a day in the daytime in an enviroment without air blowing through it, men need a half hour a day 6 days a week.
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Yogi:
Recap is to get past any good/evil judgements. . . your advice ain't so hot.
Crow:
Judgement caw, judgement caw caw caw!
Yogi:
There is much stuck useful energy in seemingly shameful experiences, and that's what Sue's talking about.
Crow:
Nothin' shameful about gettin' hit with a club. I'm more in hearts, that's all...
Or is it 'moron'? Gee... Go ahead, your play...
Yogi:
I'll tell her how to continue in a while. . .
Crow:
That's funny. Yeah, you tell her, and I'll eat the cucumber sandwiches.
Yogi:
So there's an imprint that you are supposed to control your instinctive center and to be aware of it.
Crow:
Huh? Was that a play? I missed it. I'll discard...
Yogi:
You are not suppose to soil things with your piss, you are supposed to keep things like that on the left side and not bring them into the public realm.
Crow:
This *is* 'the left side'.
Yogi:
To continue your recap: Meditate on what if for the left side, and what is for the right. What is the inner life and what is for the world.
Crow:
Hmm. I'd appreciate a bit of elaboration from you on this. Oh, maybe this is it:
Yogi:
Many people speak here on these message boards about left side stuff, bedroom and bathroom stuff, that is left side stuff and not meant for the public realm.
Crow:
It seems you're confounding 'left side/right side' with 'private/public' here to me.
Yogi:
Many people get 'famous' for being inside out and putting things on the table of life that are meant to stay private.
Crow:
'Meant'... by what or whom? Private stuff cripples people. Not to say they oughtn't feel they're entitled to having any.
Yogi:
Carry on. . .wih this theme.
Crow:
I'm enjoyin' it.
Yogi:
Woman that meditate need to do it 6 days a week 1 hour a day in the daytime in an enviroment without air blowing through it, men need a half hour a day 6 days a week.
Crow:
I'd skip all that. No need to make a routine of any of it, really...
But no call to take my advice, of course, of course...
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I know what I'm talking about, I can teach it, so just let me guide Su if she wants it.
Your flippancy. . . . isn't that funny. . . . cuase this is a health issue, a life or death issue, I love joking around, but inmatters of health I don't do it.
About energy coming from shameful imprints, you know exactly what I''m talking about and we are in the process right now of digging you out of this hole. . . .so why not wish her well and at the same time wish yourself well?
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The Tenant:
I know what I'm talking about, I can teach it, so just let me guide Su if she wants it.
Crow:
Let you? Goodness, I'm surely not stopping you, am I?
The Tenant:
Your flippancy. . . . isn't that funny. . . . cuase this is a health issue, a life or death issue, I love joking around, but inmatters of health I don't do it.
Crow:
Pity.
I'll remove myself from this thread.
The Tenant:
About energy coming from shameful imprints, you know exactly what I''m talking about and we are in the process right now of digging you out of this hole. . . .
Crow:
I am not in a 'hole'. I'm free. I have no debts. I have no one I owe anything to. Are you?
The Tenant:
so why not wish her well and at the same time wish yourself well?
Crow:
It wasn't about 'wishing' anyone well.
I've lived with Su. We've been lovers. We're very close. I've been the 'Nagual' in Susie's life...
Can I not make my pecky comments here?
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haven't heard that out of you before. . . if you're a Nagual you're on a definite journey wih definite guides that you are aware of. . . .and definite goals. . . .
Like - what work have you done in your life that is along the lines of being a Nagual? ? ?
It all sounds flippant to me.
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The term nag?
How lopsang gagnon the term?
[shuts the window]
Whoosh, that was some breeze!
Lovely, but *rather* distracting.
Soo... you'd want me to explain to you my definition of the term... nagual'?
We both *know* it is 'beyond definition', yes?
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I know a definition as I was one, in fact I know lots on the subject, maybe even everything. . . .but you want to stick to your lightheartedness. . .finw.
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I have been trying to recall some good memories of my childhood but to tell the truth many more yucky ones come to mind.
Strangely, the good memories are in dreaming. I freely entered these inner realms where love abounded..and met many people and other beings known in the world as fairy tales. Also I had and still have an invisible friend called Tim, many a good time we have shared together, still do but not as frequently as when I was younger.
Still I hesitate to speak of these things and so call this dreaming world the 'this n that' of my recap.
Over the next few days I will contemplate the good times in my childhood and write it down here.
Ahh, some coming to mind already.
Su
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Yogi Bear?
Now this brings up good memories.
From a little un I had a stuffed yogi bear that was very dear to me I slept with him every night until at age 16 or so he crumbled with age limb by limb. awww
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it's not worth anything to anyone. The point of it is to get it till the point when it does become universal, then you have reconnected yourself to all that is.
Everyboy's little personel life is not worth much, they're all the same. . . unless your recapitulation finds out that you may have living a big unversal guided from above life. . .
Your childhood traumas and imprints are 'stuck-up' energy . . .a life or connected to all there is. . .but whne you die everything is reconnected again. . . and 'in the beginning' you were connected to all there is. . .
Reconnecting. .. is getting back into the Garden of Eden again. . . .
If you just go on about your childhood memeories in the'normal' fashion people will conclude that you are senile. . . . . sentimental. . . . and your life is over. . . .
Best do the real thing. . .recapitulation is very dangerous if done wrong, without real knowledge. . . I've seen many get a very twisted it up in it. . .
actually I've seen less then 5 percent of people who say they do it. . . .succeed. . . and many brain damaged for life. . .
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Awwww... sweetheart!
Now all I want to do is drink a whole case of Steinlager!
[ LOL ]
Ooh, an' a li'l puff of the best smoke on the planet...
love, Pee'er.
(I'll surely drink your health too, love... you bet. No, I haven't the appropriate Trini saying for the way I feel...( hey, that bracket is the ***wrong*** way!!! )))
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Well Yogi, I don't mind recapping to a point but there is always the business of the eternal now and here I feel happy and alive.
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Waitin' for a *happy recap*
Come on! It hasn't *all* been 'bad'...
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Crow
Waitin' for a *happy recap*
hahaha.
That's funny Crow
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Oh.
No?
Then tell your horrible tales to The Tenant.
He'll soon sort you out.
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