12-01-2010, 12:00 AM
Unregistered(d) wrote:it's not worth anything to anyone. The point of it is to get it till the point when it does become universal, then you have reconnected yourself to all that is.
Everyboy's little personel life is not worth much, they're all the same. . . unless your recapitulation finds out that you may have living a big unversal guided from above life. . .
Your childhood traumas and imprints are 'stuck-up' energy . . .a life or connected to all there is. . .but whne you die everything is reconnected again. . . and 'in the beginning' you were connected to all there is. . .
Reconnecting. .. is getting back into the Garden of Eden again. . . .
If you just go on about your childhood memeories in the'normal' fashion people will conclude that you are senile. . . . . sentimental. . . . and your life is over. . . .
Best do the real thing. . .recapitulation is very dangerous if done wrong, without real knowledge. . . I've seen many get a very twisted it up in it. . .
actually I've seen less then 5 percent of people who say they do it. . . .succeed. . . and many brain damaged for life. . . I have some experience of what he means here in the blue highlighted part of his post. The first recappings I did before I knew of CC, were done with the aid of self-help books, specifically one called "The Courage to Heal" a book for women who were sexually abused in childhood. The book focused a lot on recovery of childhood memories and also on giving the woman permission to be angry with the assertion that it is not necessary to forgive. I understand where it was coming from because when I was growing up being angry upset the fragile family too much and we were told anger was bad and saw how bad it could be when dad used to come home drunk and raging so I was so suppressed in that way that I couldn't feel anger anymore. I also understand why they would assert that it's not necessary to forgive because when the step-dad got found out we were told to forgive him(it was part of the religious code) right after and then he got "saved" and went on doing what he was doing to my sister, a real soul *** I can tell you. Not something easily forgiven, being told to forgive and going through the motions without authentic processing and forgiveness made things a whole hell of a lot worse. So i understand why the book said those things and it was one of the first, if not first, such books and so needed by many.
But what I got from that first recapping was a lot of rage coming up, an idea that it wasn't necessary to forgive, that healing could still happen without it, a heightened sense of having been a victim, a confusion of reality around me from projections at a time I didn't have much of a clue about what projections were, anxiety, more depression...a whole lot of garbage I didn't know how to deal with. I had a few therapists but wasn't lucky with the ones I got, I didn't have much choice in therapists because I was poor and going to a community service place where they assigned you a therapist, you could choose to get a different one but there weren't many and they weren't all that good. Also, I had so little trust for authority figures that I couldn't open up much anyway. There is something strange about the dynamic in a system where you have to pay to get help from the harm living in that system brought your way.
I had better luck when I started telling "God" some years later: first I told my rage at God while at the same time praying to get through it for reconnection, for healing, eventually I was able to get to the tears and grief behind the rage, to be cool with Od, to feel forgiveness and forgiven...but I keep digressing. My point is that I didn't start to get much healing until I was able to grieve and begin to forgive, to let go of my blame and anger towards them and myself, to let go of my bitter, to let go of the certainty that my life would always be fucked because I was so fucked in childhood, to realize that I had transgressed in my adult life through the transgressions I experienced as a child and to understand what "it will be visited unto the seventh generation" means, the weight of karma on Atlas back-- how un-free we really are while we are living out the scripts given to us from previous generations of fucked up modern western people.
Having the realizations about conditioning helped me to forgive myself for not being a good enough and reliable enough protectress of myself and my children, for being a raging **** at times, for not knowing or giving love (except when breaths came here and there), that simple acceptance of self and other that so many of us never experience or don't experience consistently in childhood and most often through adulthood to the grave because that kind of love doesn't come from a script and most of us never have the chance to experience it consistently nor do we trust it at first when it does blow through because it opens up the painful places and we are afraid to be betrayed again by a feeling heart that left us so vulnerable as children but I can tell you when you do begin to experience it consistently by some grace, luck, and hard work, then you will be much more able to get rid of stagnating stuff as the I ching puts it, as soon as you realize it is worthwhile to feel your heart no matter how much it hurts.
So back to my initial point, it certainly makes the utmost sense to not deny and to recognize one's anger, and it certainly makes the utmost sense not to forgive until you have forgiven, but it is unsound in the extreme to lock into a permission to be rageful, a permission to not forgive. May not be exactly what "unregisterd(d)" meant but it fits.
An idea of open exploration with reconnection in sight, of grieving and forgiving one's self, one's unsullied center: that whatever it is that we are though we might have clunk and ****--dross clinging at the periphery. A will to proceed that way opens the way for the Center(intent I'd say comes through here) to do the work through our heart: it's bridge. That Center is the one that forgives all and everyone and lives!
At least that's how it's been working with me. I am certainly not finished with this worthy work and have proceeded bit by bit.
Man I sure wish unregistered(d) and the other folks would re-visit this forum...
Everyboy's little personel life is not worth much, they're all the same. . . unless your recapitulation finds out that you may have living a big unversal guided from above life. . .
Your childhood traumas and imprints are 'stuck-up' energy . . .a life or connected to all there is. . .but whne you die everything is reconnected again. . . and 'in the beginning' you were connected to all there is. . .
Reconnecting. .. is getting back into the Garden of Eden again. . . .
If you just go on about your childhood memeories in the'normal' fashion people will conclude that you are senile. . . . . sentimental. . . . and your life is over. . . .
Best do the real thing. . .recapitulation is very dangerous if done wrong, without real knowledge. . . I've seen many get a very twisted it up in it. . .
actually I've seen less then 5 percent of people who say they do it. . . .succeed. . . and many brain damaged for life. . . I have some experience of what he means here in the blue highlighted part of his post. The first recappings I did before I knew of CC, were done with the aid of self-help books, specifically one called "The Courage to Heal" a book for women who were sexually abused in childhood. The book focused a lot on recovery of childhood memories and also on giving the woman permission to be angry with the assertion that it is not necessary to forgive. I understand where it was coming from because when I was growing up being angry upset the fragile family too much and we were told anger was bad and saw how bad it could be when dad used to come home drunk and raging so I was so suppressed in that way that I couldn't feel anger anymore. I also understand why they would assert that it's not necessary to forgive because when the step-dad got found out we were told to forgive him(it was part of the religious code) right after and then he got "saved" and went on doing what he was doing to my sister, a real soul *** I can tell you. Not something easily forgiven, being told to forgive and going through the motions without authentic processing and forgiveness made things a whole hell of a lot worse. So i understand why the book said those things and it was one of the first, if not first, such books and so needed by many.
But what I got from that first recapping was a lot of rage coming up, an idea that it wasn't necessary to forgive, that healing could still happen without it, a heightened sense of having been a victim, a confusion of reality around me from projections at a time I didn't have much of a clue about what projections were, anxiety, more depression...a whole lot of garbage I didn't know how to deal with. I had a few therapists but wasn't lucky with the ones I got, I didn't have much choice in therapists because I was poor and going to a community service place where they assigned you a therapist, you could choose to get a different one but there weren't many and they weren't all that good. Also, I had so little trust for authority figures that I couldn't open up much anyway. There is something strange about the dynamic in a system where you have to pay to get help from the harm living in that system brought your way.
I had better luck when I started telling "God" some years later: first I told my rage at God while at the same time praying to get through it for reconnection, for healing, eventually I was able to get to the tears and grief behind the rage, to be cool with Od, to feel forgiveness and forgiven...but I keep digressing. My point is that I didn't start to get much healing until I was able to grieve and begin to forgive, to let go of my blame and anger towards them and myself, to let go of my bitter, to let go of the certainty that my life would always be fucked because I was so fucked in childhood, to realize that I had transgressed in my adult life through the transgressions I experienced as a child and to understand what "it will be visited unto the seventh generation" means, the weight of karma on Atlas back-- how un-free we really are while we are living out the scripts given to us from previous generations of fucked up modern western people.
Having the realizations about conditioning helped me to forgive myself for not being a good enough and reliable enough protectress of myself and my children, for being a raging **** at times, for not knowing or giving love (except when breaths came here and there), that simple acceptance of self and other that so many of us never experience or don't experience consistently in childhood and most often through adulthood to the grave because that kind of love doesn't come from a script and most of us never have the chance to experience it consistently nor do we trust it at first when it does blow through because it opens up the painful places and we are afraid to be betrayed again by a feeling heart that left us so vulnerable as children but I can tell you when you do begin to experience it consistently by some grace, luck, and hard work, then you will be much more able to get rid of stagnating stuff as the I ching puts it, as soon as you realize it is worthwhile to feel your heart no matter how much it hurts.
So back to my initial point, it certainly makes the utmost sense to not deny and to recognize one's anger, and it certainly makes the utmost sense not to forgive until you have forgiven, but it is unsound in the extreme to lock into a permission to be rageful, a permission to not forgive. May not be exactly what "unregisterd(d)" meant but it fits.
An idea of open exploration with reconnection in sight, of grieving and forgiving one's self, one's unsullied center: that whatever it is that we are though we might have clunk and ****--dross clinging at the periphery. A will to proceed that way opens the way for the Center(intent I'd say comes through here) to do the work through our heart: it's bridge. That Center is the one that forgives all and everyone and lives!
At least that's how it's been working with me. I am certainly not finished with this worthy work and have proceeded bit by bit.
Man I sure wish unregistered(d) and the other folks would re-visit this forum...