11-10-2010, 12:00 AM
A few years ago my life came to a climax. The way forward was clear although not what I had expected. Then I did something so stupid, I turned and started to walk away. It was only latter I realized that I was running away so I quickly turned back but everything was a real mess. The mess has at times turned in to a living nightmare but always has been a special hope that I might again feel the warmth of the sun. I don't know how to describe it but my path is within me and I had begun to really see it, to see life for what it is. Even knowing all this has not curbed my desire to run. The first opportunity I get I am nearly out the door. I have only just noticed this about myself. So I have decided to stay and fight for what ever my life is worth. I have in this time at least become more willing to face those challenges and dare I say enjoy them. A man I always rave about is Theun Mares. He makes sense to me in a very subtle way. In case you do not know of him he is what he calls a light bringer and the author of a series of books about the Toltec teachings. One the key phrases or aphorisms Theun uses is this
The only failure in life is failure to fight
I wanted to understand this and apply it to my life and now I think I do. Having lived through such a difficult time and being faced with my own shortcomings in such a strong fashion I have come to realize that the very meaning of taking responsibility for ones actions and the real meaning of out interrelationship of life. Being impeccable as a unit of life with no hope for reward or any expectations opens the door to true friendship and learning and is a humbling experience. Suddenly, a few moments of perfection wash away the agony of the nightmare and a smile lights my face from side to side. This is the gift all warriors work for, the very quality's one must have to walk the path of knowledge. And for me now, just for a flicker of joy in some moment to come I can say to myself, never give up! Never give in! Fight! Fight! Fight!
The only failure in life is failure to fight
I wanted to understand this and apply it to my life and now I think I do. Having lived through such a difficult time and being faced with my own shortcomings in such a strong fashion I have come to realize that the very meaning of taking responsibility for ones actions and the real meaning of out interrelationship of life. Being impeccable as a unit of life with no hope for reward or any expectations opens the door to true friendship and learning and is a humbling experience. Suddenly, a few moments of perfection wash away the agony of the nightmare and a smile lights my face from side to side. This is the gift all warriors work for, the very quality's one must have to walk the path of knowledge. And for me now, just for a flicker of joy in some moment to come I can say to myself, never give up! Never give in! Fight! Fight! Fight!