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cal2999:
A crow and how do YA grow!!! MUSHIEZ and so grow and are not for sale.I see were U went wrong as U can not sell wat nature teaches.These are only for feww and deffanently not for a prophet for U.
Crow:
Well, cal, it's great if you can see where I went wrong. That could be a 'good' thing, something you could avoid repeating yourself, I s'pose.
But I felt what we did was okay. It didn't feel 'wrong' to me at all. Indeed, it was very challenging to try to produce mushrooms indoors. I seem very much drawn to the creation of controlled environments. And when one discovers how very specific the parameters are for succeeding it cannot help but raise awareness of the absolutely magical natural world around us.
We raised mushrooms, and *traded* them for money, which we then *traded* for the things we needed to make our household functional. Is that a better way to look at it? It's all a matter of perception, and converting energy from one specific form to another.
cal2999:
ONE more thing.IT was trickery not magic on that street in front of U.
Crow:
There are mechanics at work, aren't there, in 'trickery'. There are specific ways to approach the creation of illusion. The 'magic' is in the perception.
cal2999:
LIKE mushiez magic is only for few as itz only a word and thatz wat is wrong two.
Crow:
Eh? Words are not 'wrong'. To confuse the words for the intent which they might readily express could be considered 'wrong' or at least a sort of 'mistaken' identity.
cal2999:
Somthing beutiful trapped in a word being held limited U must think im obserd.
Crow:
Spirit is never trapped in words. Here we've a fine example of 'trickery', would you not agree?
cal2999:
CAN U SEE IT crow or is that just a word to as i know the crow TO and it dose not seem like U!!!!!!!
Crow:
And perhaps for but a moment you are a stranger to yourself?
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ReRavel:
So Crow, now honestly look at the semi-useless rot of a human you have become. It's all the computer's fault. Blame it all on the friggin computer!
Crow:
I said I'd been unhappy to see the members of my family investing so much of their energy into playing video games or watching television. I truly felt these things undermining our intimate social organism of 'family', and was making us all into passive consumers. I guess because I myself grew up without a television I was very conscious about its effects on people. I didn't feel it was a good thing, yes, I did 'blame' these things for the deterioration and dissolution of our family structure. And of course that was not really appropriate, and my attitude of condemnation didn't 'help' but to intensify the alienation my family members experienced. And the more I rebelled and reacted with hostility towards these things, the more alienated we all became.
By the time I began posting over the Internet myself, I'd become enraged and hostile, although all of that was perhaps tempered by the ironic humor of it all, which surely hadn't completely escaped me.
ReRavel:
And you would presume to lead me to freedom? Nagual my ass!
Crow:
You mean to tell me you've not yet discovered freedom for yourself?
ReRavel:
Crow:
Why choke? I'd air those feelings, if I were you.
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Well, I wondered about the response I got here from ReRavel, about honestly looking at the 'semi-useless rot of a human' aspect of what I've become.
Of course there was the aspect which was the reflection of this person upon reading my words, that something I'd said had triggered off such a response.
I really don't feel I'm 'semi-useless', nor rotten either, and that's being honest. Both our sons have grown up since I began my sojourn as 'Carlitos Crow' on the Internet, and clearly they no longer are in need of a father figure in their own personal affairs of daily living. There's no acrimony between any of us now, but of course they and my ex-wife are all employed full-time at regular nine-to-five jobs now, and so have not much time at all for socializing or hanging out with their dad, or ex-husband. Of course I still do get called to make repairs to faulty appliances or for installations of new ones, or asked to measure a wall and build a bookcase to fit. And I'm delighted to do these things, much more now than ever I was before, which I know is a bit strange, but hey, I still feel strong feelings of devotion to my family, and I don't think they will do anything but deepen still more over the remaining years of my life.
I spend much of my time alone these days, and I tend to go with the flow of whatever I'm feeling, unless it's crappy, and then I have things I can do to dispell those 'rotten moods', and so I use them to my good advantage and can get things acomplished while returning to my better self. I still refuse to seek regular employment of any kind, and I've gotten pretty good at surviving without it. But in a pinch I s'pose I could put in a few weeks as a carpenter or something and earn about a thousand dollars a week, which for many people is surely a dream and nothing more. It's nice to feel so capable, and there's no need to prove it to anyone, really. Folks that know me know I am so capable, and if anything they may wonder why I do not just get out there and make 'good money' puttin' in a good day for some developer or sub-contractor. And I admit that I sometimes wonder that myself, but that's when I'm in a crappy mood anyway, and as I say, I have things I can do to snap out of those ones, and then the thought of workin' for a wage just seems idiotic.
You know I'd appreciate it if you could tell me specifically just what makes you see me as this 'semi-useless rot of a human', and we might examine this a bit more thoughtfully together.
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I also play alot of computer games although don't watch much TV and for sure the computer gaming makes it hard for me to communicate with others. What I mean in essence is that I can barely hold a conversation with someone standing next to me while I am engaged in the game, but that I find it to be excelent mental exercise to do so.
For exmaple here is a screenshot I took a few days ago of my world of warcraft character Devilsweed who was aptly named after datura stramonium of which I ate 5 times over the past 5 years of my life.
There are three icon bars full of spells and abilities and a seperate icon bar simply for control of my demon of which I have 4 and can use one at a time each with its own special abilities and functions.
I use control plus a # to control my demon and 1 - = keys to utilize my main icon bar and the mouse to control the camera angle and zoom as well as utilizing constantly the two other icon bars(of which I need to create hotkeys for some to increase by microseconds some of my counter abilities).
This creates an incredibly complex character to character environment and the only thing I do in the game anymore is play capture the flag ten vs. ten.
So bla bla bla etc. etc.
The game deifinitely tunes my mind out of its immidiate environment and makes it a sort of machine procesor of response times strategies and maximized potential. Needless to say very few people can beat my character in a one on one duel although the game is not perfectly balanced due to blizzard becoming a corporate sell-out company.
It was hard for my fiance to learn to give me the space I need to tune out of our lives and into Devilsweed at will but she instead found things to do with her time like myspace.com and doing poetry biographies at oldpoetry.com .
When we can both occupy ourselves on the web what could have been a thing that pushed us apart allows us to come together stronger when we expire form our web use and combine, again, physically.
I must say, though, I am excited to leave the house this weekend and go to nevada city for a kundalini yoga teacher training retreat with my fiance and our little yoga group that is like family.
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Wow.
Holy crow!
I dunno, bro...
Ah, but the datura.
I'm one of those ones that got 'spit out'. It's not an ally I want to further engage. However, I'd be fascinated completely if you were to try to describe an experience while under the influence of datura. Have you drank tea made from the leaves?
Meanwhile, what a beautiful plant. It blooms at night. Wow.
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ive written about the intense experiences a bit
the most interesting was this book of life i kept reading and as i looked closer at the words they would garble up then everything after the word i was on trying to read would disapear to blank pages then the book itself disapears
happened repeatedly
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Oh, bro, let's *write* that one!!
Wow.
Hey, do you cultivate datura? There are some gorgeous varieties. Some available in seed catalogues...
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that same nightas i lay down i would jolt out of my astral traveling back into my body to the presence of these snakes and spiders crawling down my blanket and body
always only one at a time
one small long green spider or one huge(like double fist sized) black spider
i would get freaked out though not scared since i was tuned into the spirit and jiggle my body around like crazy to kick them off
cultivating i havent read up on much though the type i ate grows abundantly in california, datura stramonium, and i look forward to seeing it flower sometimes it lines the highways with its huge trumpets of death
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Ohh, if only I could wake you, shake you, ... not mistake you!
Yeah. sure... it lines the highways.
This is another kind of connection.
What you write is troubling...
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Quote:ive written about the intense experiences a bit
the most interesting was this book of life i kept reading and as i looked closer at the words they would garble up then everything after the word i was on trying to read would disapear to blank pages then the book itself disapears
happened repeatedly
If you were certain you were looking at the purported mythological Book of Life then there is only one thing that matters: Was your name written in the Book of Life or not? The Book of Life was shown to you over and over and you do not report seeing your name written in it. Well, that says it all.
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You were obviously given the impression you were looking at the Book of Life. That means something special. It is no ordinary book. It purportedly contains the names of those for whom a place is reserved in Heavenly realms.
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Quote:You know I'd appreciate it if you could tell me specifically just what makes you see me as this 'semi-useless rot of a human', and we might examine this a bit more thoughtfully together.
Well Carlitos, you seem to think that the best you can do is divulge the essence of your life to show us all what has brought you to your current point. So where are you going? Thats what really matters. Are you improving as a person by using all that has happened to you to your ultimate advantage or are you using your past as an excuse for not making more of your miserable life? Do you plan to continue on as you have been in a rotting circle of some imaginary nagual leader of mankind? Thats the thing with you and your history of being some sort of don Juan nagual when all you are isIll leave that for you to answer.
Honestly look in the mirror of your self-reflection and answer the core question: Are you an example of the problems or the solutions for humanity. If you know in your heart that you are part of the problems then you are living a wasted rot of a life.
Hey, you are still alive. That is reason to celebrate for in realms like these it is relatively easy to improve. Once you are dead you can count on being pinned to the point where you were basically at when you died. A question of balance between what your life was like for good or evil.
Are you treating yourself as a sacred being or as disposable item destined for the universal trash dump.
From seeing the content of your posts over the years, lie as you may, the answer is self-evident. Your mind deserves better than the trash you are used to habitually thinking and writing and you know it!
A mime, eh? One of them there wimps. Hate mimes. Put them all in an imaginary box then throw the box off a cliff.
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If you treat yourself as a sacred being and life as a sacred gift you will take full responsibility for the life you have created. Are you living a wasted life? Could you do better to prepare for eternity? We all are and can in one way or another so the question is: Are you using everything that has happened to you to your ultimate advantage or are you slowly rotting away as one of the problems of humanity. As long as you continue to improve as a person you have something to be proud of.
If your sons see you next year and they both are surprised by how much stronger and vibrant you have become that will be an improvement indeed! If instead you are slowly rotting awaywell that would be so humanly typical, Mr Great Supposed Nagual Leader.
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ReRavel:
Well Carlitos, you seem to think that the best you can do is divulge the essence of your life to show us all what has brought you to your current point.
Crow:
Well, there's value in that, to readers, and to me too. I've never tried to imply that this is the best I can do. I think I do my best in other areas, probably, and still do feel that writing on the Internet is a sort of 'pastime'.
ReRavel:
So where are you going?
Crow:
I'm going to die. Well, that's the short answer, isn't it!
ReRavel:
Thats what really matters.
Crow:
To who, you?
ReRavel:
Are you improving as a person by using all that has happened to you to your ultimate advantage or are you using your past as an excuse for not making more of your miserable life?
Crow:
Perhaps you'd offer an example of what you mean by 'improving as a person'.
Perhaps I am 'improving as a person', but I'm not one to judge, being that if I were to try, it couldn't be accomplished without my bein' partial to myself, huh.
I'm letting others just 'be' much more today than ever before, and spending more and more time alone on my own. It may be that doing my best work is done this way. I can get deeply involved in my woodworking or gardening or music without any interaction with other people. And in the case of the woodworking, at least, there's a tangible outcome in the pieces I create, which shall surely have life of their own, and shall be cherished by unknown people perhaps long after I am gone.
ReRavel:
Do you plan to continue on as you have been in a rotting circle of some imaginary nagual leader of mankind?
Crow:
Not really, no. It isn't a 'plan' of mine, more it was an avenue I felt worthy of exploration, and it hasn't been without interesting 'results'. One of which is the insistence of some others to maintain that being nagual is what I'm about, even after I've said I've let that idea go after giving it a 'workout'.
ReRavel:
Thats the thing with you and your history of being some sort of don Juan nagual when all you are isIll leave that for you to answer.
Crow:
Surely what I am doesn't really matter to you. Does it, really? If so, why, how come?
ReRavel:
Honestly look in the mirror of your self-reflection and answer the core question: Are you an example of the problems or the solutions for humanity. If you know in your heart that you are part of the problems then you are living a wasted rot of a life.
Crow:
Well, everyone is a 'part of the problem', if one cares to look at it that way. In the sense that food I consume could feed someone else, for instance. There's evidently a serious problem of overcrowding and overconsumption of what the earth is capable of producing. So I'm surely a part of that problem.
And I've had my part in producing more people, two more, who may likely produce more before I'm gone. So yes, I'm a part of the problem.
As to 'solutions'... Well, in light of the above, you might think I'd advocate suicide, huh. Well, I don't. Not that I'd think it ethical either, to prevent it.
I recently lost a dear friend to suicide, and I'm still rather 'cut up' over that.
I enjoy a simple life. I advocate living such a life. But it isn't a social 'norm' and is therefore complicated, isn't it.
ReRavel:
Hey, you are still alive. That is reason to celebrate for in realms like these it is relatively easy to improve.
Crow:
Some felt the internal combustion engine was a real 'improvement'. Some feel that nuclear power is a real 'improvement'. Leaving these things... would constitute a calamity today, if an entire society were to let them go, or were forced to for economic reasons, say.
Yet I am convinced that to 'improve' we must leave these things. Perhaps there may be 'modifications' that can be made, within the existing framework, but it is this very framework which spells 'death' to society as we've come to know it.
ReRavel:
Once you are dead you can count on being pinned to the point where you were basically at when you died.
Crow:
That is in no way any concern of mine.
ReRavel:
A question of balance between what your life was like for good or evil.
Crow:
I think love is good. I think integration and interaction amongst our fellows is good. Sharing understanding, and ideas and resources is good.
ReRavel:
Are you treating yourself as a sacred being or as disposable item destined for the universal trash dump.
Crow:
I don't know. It sounds like you think you do though...
ReRavel:
From seeing the content of your posts over the years, lie as you may, the answer is self-evident. Your mind deserves better than the trash you are used to habitually thinking and writing and you know it!
Crow:
You're sharing an exchange here with me now. What's 'trashy' about it?
ReRavel:
A mime, eh?
Crow:
I painted my face white for many years on a daily basis and went amongst my fellows in that 'disguise', yes. I've no regrets about that at all!
ReRavel:
One of them there wimps. Hate mimes. Put them all in an imaginary box then throw the box off a cliff.
Crow:
'Hate' is not a good thing. Why do you s'pose a 'mime' is a 'wimp'? I faced a magical life in what I found to be a most appropriately 'magical' way. What sort of life would you have dreamed for me? Or better, what sort of person are you, what have you done with your life, and now, what do you do?
ReRavel:
If you treat yourself as a sacred being and life as a sacred gift you will take full responsibility for the life you have created.
Crow:
I have a responsibility *to* my life, not 'for' it. This life has created me, I have not created it.
ReRavel:
Are you living a wasted life?
Crow:
Could my life have been wasted on me? Is that what you're asking? If so, it smacks of resentment. What would *you* do with my life, or would have done, had you been 'me'?
ReRavel:
Could you do better to prepare for eternity?
Crow:
It's here now. What sort of 'preparation' do you s'pose one can make for something so total and instantaneous?
ReRavel:
We all are and can in one way or another so the question is: Are you using everything that has happened to you to your ultimate advantage or are you slowly rotting away as one of the problems of humanity.
Crow:
I need clarification here in order to even begin to try to answer that question. How might I be 'one of the problems of humanity'?
ReRavel:
As long as you continue to improve as a person you have something to be proud of.
Crow:
Pride comes before a fall, huh. 'All is vanity.'
ReRavel:
If your sons see you next year and they both are surprised by how much stronger and vibrant you have become that will be an improvement indeed! If instead you are slowly rotting awaywell that would be so humanly typical, Mr Great Supposed Nagual Leader.
Crow:
Someone here has a hang-up about 'leadership' and it isn't me...
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ReRavel: The book I read has nothing to do with the book of mythology you described.
By 'life' I am saying it was a book that explains life as it as right now and if I focus on it too closely I cannot read it since that gets me stuck in the first attention; but when I use my peripheral mind to read it it reads itself since that is how one focuses on the second attention.
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A couple of clowns determined to justify their boring lives. So what else is new?
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Quote:ReRavel:
Are you treating yourself as a sacred being or as disposable item destined for the universal trash dump.
Crow:
I don't know. It sounds like you think you do though...
ReRavel:
From seeing the content of your posts over the years, lie as you may, the answer is self-evident. Your mind deserves better than the trash you are used to habitually thinking and writing and you know it!
Crow:
You're sharing an exchange here with me now. What's 'trashy' about it?
This type of 'dancing around the issues' **** is so typical of those who refuse to face the truth about themselves. So you don't know whether or not you are treating yourself as a sacred being, eh? Who does know? The garbage men who pick up your trash? You are not fooling me. I know your basic type and so do you. All your cheap and lamely witty excuses don't mean dick and you know it!
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Quote:ReRavel:
As long as you continue to improve as a person you have something to be proud of.
Crow:
Pride comes before a fall, huh. 'All is vanity.'
ReRavel:
If your sons see you next year and they both are surprised by how much stronger and vibrant you have become that will be an improvement indeed! If instead you are slowly rotting awaywell that would be so humanly typical, Mr Great Supposed Nagual Leader.
Crow:
Someone here has a hang-up about 'leadership' and it isn't me...
Always have to try to find a way to slither out of the truth about yourself. Such are those who are among the problems of humanity. If you are improving as a person you are part of the solution. If you are not then you are part of the problems of humanity. Simple enough.
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Quote:ReRavel: The book I read has nothing to do with the book of mythology you described.
By 'life' I am saying it was a book that explains life as it as right now and if I focus on it too closely I cannot read it since that gets me stuck in the first attention; but when I use my peripheral mind to read it it reads itself since that is how one focuses on the second attention.
Well, I venture that life for you right now is not as powerfully productive as it could be. You can do better as a person, just as we all can. We owe it to ourselves to die at our very best and that can happen today. Whatever book of life you were shown you obviously didnt have the energy to read it so why was it shown to you? Obviously to show you that by the way you were living you were wasting your time taking datura for no matter what good thing was shown to you it would be a waste of time. You had not the energy to absorb understand and remember it.
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Whatta grump.
Hey, ReRavel, I guess you've not tried datura yourself then.
Hey, that's cool... It's not something to mess with if life is rosy, is it.
And it's not something one could say improves life, or even improves with age.
Yes, I too would love to hear a story about a datura experience. The best I ever read was from Randy Stark. He wasn't recommending it either.
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Trying to change the subject. Another one of the cheap tricks of the problems of humanity. You are not getting away with ANYTHING, Crow. It all comes back around. There is nothing quite so pitiful as a wasted life.
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ReRavel:
Trying to change the subject. Another one of the cheap tricks of the problems of humanity. You are not getting away with ANYTHING, Crow. It all comes back around. There is nothing quite so pitiful as a wasted life.
Crow:
No, I'd not been tryin' to change the subject. Of course I'm not trying to 'get away with' anything either, that's silly.
I'm up real early. It's not yet four AM, and I'm havin' my morning coffee here and catchin' up on the posts. Hmm, not much here today...
I've been all fired up on my woodworking once again these past few days. I've been making a cupboard similar to one pictured in a book I have on Early Canadian Furniture. I've got the carcase all assembled and it's beginning to really look like something. Now for the fun stuff, making the mouldings.
I'm using antique tools to build it, and the mouldings are no exception. Indeed, despite there being so very many router cutters available these days for cutting profiles into the edge of a piece of wood, precious few are of any use at all in the making of period furniture. It's the strangest thing, really.
Anyhow, I am fortunate enough to have a fair collection of antique moulding planes, and yesterday I spent quite awhile honing the blades of a few I intend to be using. That's persnickety work, very focused and tedious, but then there's nothing quite so satisfying as seeing the shavings flowing freely from the throat of a well-tuned and sharpened moulding plane, as the profile emerges along the edge of a board. Talk about magic!
The mouldings are made by combining two or more profiles, often applied to the same strip of wood before it is attached to the cabinet with tiny finishing nails and glue. The number of combinations of hollows and rounds and coves and beads to produce a pleasing profile are surprising. I used a number of strips of nice clear pine, making up short lengths of various forms to try against the cabinet. I think I've got it figured now, so this morning I'll go out and run the lot, standing in the quiet shop by my workbench, plane in hand, the repetitive strokes of the tool making a pleasant rhythm for the body... I think this is 'sacred' work, doing woodwork in this old and timeless way.
Then I have the doors to make, cutting and fitting the mortise and tenon joints, and making up the panels that fit into grooves in the frames... And the upper doors shall be glazed, so I'll be making up little sash with a couple of other nice old planes.
And when it's all assembled I'll be rubbing it down with many coats of oil before bringing it into my kitchen and filling it with dishes, and it will be the first thing one notices when they come in the back door, and I'll be sure to display all the lovely old chipped plates I've been collecting, in the upper cupboard.
Sounds dumb? Gosh, it makes me happy! And perhaps on Sunday I'll drive out to the Speedway to the Swap meet, and maybe I'll find another nice moulding plane still useable with a bit of care for under fifty bucks, or a couple more old chipped plates from England, or maybe a 'Redwing' crock from Medicine Hat, Alberta. I've some old stuff I would like to sell there one of these days, from all the collecting I've done over the years.
It makes me feel fine, filling my life with old things which haven't been in use for years, and bringing them back to life again. It's a real passion of mine.
What do *you* enjoy, ReRavel? How does the above constitute a 'wasted life' in your estimation?
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this reravel is one annoying punk ass ****
I read the book totally fine
You completely missed my point and know nothing about the second attention.
The clear way to a seperate reality is by not paying attention to what your so accustomed to paying attention too.
Sure, throw some more smart ass comments our way.
Be assured that Carlitoes Crow and I are totally used to overly intelectual comments from under-developed bodies as it is part of mass evolution these days. These huge over-active brains and barely sustained bodies. The thoughts these specimens produce are way out-dated and not in the now moment where creation is always in full force destroying ideas that aren't worth preserving['.'].
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It is not surprising though that this web board would attract pseudo-sorciologists still stuck up on their heavily christia-influenced roots all dangled up on the idea of some future heaven rather than being free-and- powerful-in-the-spirit: now.
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Your type is as typical as typical can get in that you lie to yourself and expect me to fall for the lies you tell here. So I am completely wrong about you, eh?
You can lie all you like, but I have seen your posts for quite some time. Just about everything I have seen you write is **** because you are obviously used to thinking ****. If you think **** then you will live a **** life, period!
I suggest you become a master craftsman at ALL aspects of living and not limit yourself to considering some acts to be more important than others. You sons deserve better from you and YOU KNOW IT!
As for Herba Matey. Since he obviously knows everything there is nothing else for him to learn. What a drip.
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