09-05-2014, 12:00 AM
I am going to pour my heart. The thoughts are secondhand--I had two wonderful friends in life (passed away).
I had the ideal conventional and spiritual well-being a couple weeks ago.
I gave it all away being a king **** at a wedding reception. I don't regret that-- I SAW things.
My wife found me vile--was unwanting to consumate. When she did, and I had orgasm that told me this: "YOU ARE IN DEEP PAIN" I mean the orgasm HURT!!!
The well-being in my home that I really focused to cultivate for the last two years (AND had taken root) was destroyed. I am watching my wife SUFFER--I am in an environment of my making that is not well-being.
STILL, this is what it is. {Shamanka did a nice video in STALKING that talks about finding the point of unconcern.}
I am a freak. I am alone. I grow and I suffer. I often want to crawl into a hole. I KNOW I AM SPEAKING ABOUT YOU. This I learned.
When some other freak like serloco is opening up these bizarre visions, I am either receptive to opening my world's vision or confining it. Opening one's vision brings power that 'hurts' you, but then open's a new world. I am not telling you not to crawl in a hole to protect self; I love doing that--I am a pro.
The ONLY thing I am saying here, is that YOUR life, YOUR isolation is partially understood. I want to say I LOVE you ( I probably hate you--wink) Try to change if it is what you want, but be okay being the **** you are for now. HONESTLY!
(edit: removed all caps from thread title)
I had the ideal conventional and spiritual well-being a couple weeks ago.
I gave it all away being a king **** at a wedding reception. I don't regret that-- I SAW things.
My wife found me vile--was unwanting to consumate. When she did, and I had orgasm that told me this: "YOU ARE IN DEEP PAIN" I mean the orgasm HURT!!!
The well-being in my home that I really focused to cultivate for the last two years (AND had taken root) was destroyed. I am watching my wife SUFFER--I am in an environment of my making that is not well-being.
STILL, this is what it is. {Shamanka did a nice video in STALKING that talks about finding the point of unconcern.}
I am a freak. I am alone. I grow and I suffer. I often want to crawl into a hole. I KNOW I AM SPEAKING ABOUT YOU. This I learned.
When some other freak like serloco is opening up these bizarre visions, I am either receptive to opening my world's vision or confining it. Opening one's vision brings power that 'hurts' you, but then open's a new world. I am not telling you not to crawl in a hole to protect self; I love doing that--I am a pro.
The ONLY thing I am saying here, is that YOUR life, YOUR isolation is partially understood. I want to say I LOVE you ( I probably hate you--wink) Try to change if it is what you want, but be okay being the **** you are for now. HONESTLY!
(edit: removed all caps from thread title)