06-15-2005, 12:00 AM
Ive entered this board just after a hacker brought it down and the 504 messages posted about The Foreign Installation came up missing (hopefully to be restored by ezboard staff soon).
Its too bad. I was really looking forward to reading what people had posted. Considering the subject, however, it doesnt surprise me that it would be a target for attack. People are controlled by beings that would do anything possible to keep this information from becoming widely known. As Don Juan indicated to Carlos in The Active Side of Infinity, You have arrived, by your own effort alone, to what the shamans of ancient Mexico called the topic of topics.
The fact of the matter is that we have tons upon tons of writings and teachings down through the ages regarding many esoteric subjects. But before the Castenada writings, hardly anything has been written that directly addresses this subject. I say hardly, because there are many veiled references whose symbology can be interpreted as referring to such in occult literature.
Recently, I have come to the realization through years of occult study that dealing with this subject and its implications should be the priority of every apprentice to Sorcery. If we do not effectively tackle our Foreign Installation, we have small hope of succeeding in any other aspect of Sorcery. Whats more, all talk about stalking, hunting power, becoming a warrior and developing impeccability, as well as all the exercises of stopping the internal dialog, not doing, recapitulation, making the assemblage point fluid, etc. are in the final analysis, strategies for dealing with our own internal parasite first and foremost.
A little background on how I reached this conclusion:
I started reading Castaneda back 23 years ago when I was just finishing my undergrad in college. It effected and inspired me deeply, especially Tales of Power. However, I concluded back then that one needed to find a Toltec Sorcerer (or should I say, the sorcerer would find them) and become an apprentice to decipher and get much out of the spiritual path described in Castenadas writings. So I determined to find my true spiritual path. As the destiny would have it, I did find the Western Esoteric path. Ive spent these passing years applying myself to it. However, Ive always kept up my readings of Castenada as his books have become available. I now see that was equally a factor of destiny. Even though I have in my own estimation achieved certain occult accomplishments and became in my system, one who taught others, at a certain point, I hit a big brick wall in my attainments and suffered through several years of what I can only term a magical slump. I began to question the fundamental occult doctrines of my system. It lead me to a period of exploration of other occult systems. I discovered many spiritual traditions out there that were sometimes hundreds, if not thousands of years old. Many ideas were very similar to the system I had studied. Many other details seriously contracted not only my system, but each others systems too. Everyone of them claimed to be the epitome of truth upon which all other systems were but incomplete corruptions. In the end, however, I reached a point of information overload, the mental and spiritual equivalent of indigestion from overeating. I entered into a state of confusion where I no longer trusted any such information or occult path of knowledge.
In the past year or so, I made the acquaintance of a very remarkable individual. He knew a great deal about many of the systems I had been studying, especially my own. He also knew an enormous amount about Toltec Sorcery. After numerous conversations with him, Im convinced that he is very advanced in the skills praised and possessed by the sorcerers of the Castenada writings. He calls himself an Eternal Apprentice to Sorcery, but insists, however that he is not of the Toltec tradition, even though he is well versed in the writings of Castenada as well as many other contemporary Toltec writers that have emerged. He does not study, or apprentice under a Nagual. He says he doesnt take apprentices. He insists he is not a Nagual. His favorite name for himself is a Fool, a designation he often uses as a technical word to indicate an individual of his specific attainments. He claims to see energy as it flows in the universe. He also said that he has achieved true freedom. I do not doubt any of his claims for several good reasons. First, my own occult attainments are such that even though I dont see per se, I perceive many things about the vibrational quality of an individual and know for a fact that he is truly of a caliber of person who wouldnt lie about such things and abhors deceit in others. He is very quick to put me on the spot and nail me when I have told a falsehood or something that indicates I am in some way deceiving myself (more on this later). The other thing is that I have had practical demonstrations of his magical and occult abilities and when asked to explain how he did certain things, he would gladly accommodate me. Most of what he does, he explains in terms of manipulating luminous fibers. He describes it with such accuracy that I dont doubt that he directly perceives such. He also talks about many of his magical feats in terms of mastery of intent.
Finally, he is all about perceiving and acknowledging everything as it really is. He only considers himself a friend, but has nevertheless made himself very accessible to me for certain instruction. Many of our sessions can be quite tough. Its not that he is directly severe to me. He is however incessantly picky and constantly lectures and corrects me. He can be a downright stubborn, pompous ass (my own interpretation which he happily indulges) about being right. But I have to admit, that most of the points he makes, when I have simmered down from being incessantly humiliated, are spot on. No he doesnt mentally abuse me. But having an ego and being constantly called on my **** has the effect of upsetting me very much as my need for approval and acknowledgement gets romped on. He is polite, good humored, even apologizes for offending me, but maintains an absolutely ruthless stance on how the smallest of details about what I say, how I act and my choice of words betrays my egoisms and delusions. In his lecturing, he speaks compactly and with the terminology of a Sorcerer. It is sometime mysterious, until I later consider all the subtle meanings of a short phrase he used. In the moment, I often jump on something he says and misinterpret it or draw a false conclusion about it. He is quick to call me on such and to point out that I am not fully utilizing my awareness. I often seek him out with specific occult questions in mind. But he always ruthlessly controls the flow of the conversation. Not that he cuts me off. Indeed, he politely hears me out and in the end always accommodates my queries in detail, but only after he makes his points on how Im talking, where Im really coming from and what I really need to know at this juncture. I always come away feeling like I got more than I bargained for and not in the way I would have desired. But as the Stones song goes You cant always get what you wantyou get what you need.
Now at first glance, you may not think anything much about what Ive just said transpires between us. You may even conclude that maybe Im such an egomaniac that if you or anyone else had a conversation with me, you might be telling me off too. I maintain that I have a very good rapport in general with people and as Ive indicated previously, Im often sought out myself for occult tutoring. You could also conclude that this fellow I talk about has a control or superiority thing. Also not true. However, if you were just an average Joe looking for companionship and friendly interchange and got the treatment that I get from him, you would say to yourself boy this is so one-sided. With friends like that, who needs enemies! and write him off. The details from our communications that he picks out are indeed subtle. Yet he chooses to interact with me for the purpose that destiny has point us out to each other. He is doing me a service and could care less if I storm off and dont talk to him for months (which Ive done) let alone ever again. He knows that I have come to him for help on certain issues. He is not going to let someone like me dictate the terms and content of the conversation. We talk for hours, but he never waists his time on meaningless trivialities.
What is really going on between us when we communicate is that he is following a well considered strategy. He has a specific target in mind. Furthermore, he knew from the very beginning exactly what I was looking for. Even though Im only gaining an awareness of this fact gradually. I can look back at our first meetings and see that I was and continue to be looking for one particular thing from him. As we have transpired, he has become more informative of exactly what that is and has begun to overtly describe it. At the beginning, however, he was the only one consciously aware of it. He stalked it, carefully choosing how much to feed to me as he watched it react.
First J as I will refer to him, talked about my ego problems, my lack of awareness about what I was saying and what he was saying. He pointed out my errors in thinking and attributed them to social conditioning. He also pointed out that a good deal of what I have studied and trained myself in doesnt really amount to anything useful, because its all an extension of the indoctrination process, that Im fooled into believing represents real progress and development. Of coarse that was all hard to take. Gradually, however, he began to make it known that it was not the real, genuine me that was committing all these idiotic spiritual faut pas. It was my mind. And my mind was not really mine at all but a foreign installation. And when I got ridiculously upset at him, either because he presumably humiliated me or I misinterpreted something he said. It wasnt even me feeling embarrassed over being upset. That was all a device of my mind. The thing that was really behind it all was the real source of my behavior and it had no choice but to get very upset at Js chosen line of conversation because it was in danger of being discovered by me. J was relentlessly stalking my predator. I would become very upset about what he was saying because this parasite depended on me and was shitting in its pants about the prospect of being discovered and having its food supply cut off. It would therefore do anything it could to distract, confuse and otherwise keep me from understanding what J was trying to communicate to me as a matter of its own survival.
I discovered that what J meant about accomplishing total freedom had a good deal to do with getting rid of his own parasite and therefore becoming liberated from a form of slavery that most human beings suffer. I will try to present in my next installations the salient points of J's conversations about the the Mind as a Foreign Installation, it's traits and nature and how to overcome it.
To be continued
Toltechie
Its too bad. I was really looking forward to reading what people had posted. Considering the subject, however, it doesnt surprise me that it would be a target for attack. People are controlled by beings that would do anything possible to keep this information from becoming widely known. As Don Juan indicated to Carlos in The Active Side of Infinity, You have arrived, by your own effort alone, to what the shamans of ancient Mexico called the topic of topics.
The fact of the matter is that we have tons upon tons of writings and teachings down through the ages regarding many esoteric subjects. But before the Castenada writings, hardly anything has been written that directly addresses this subject. I say hardly, because there are many veiled references whose symbology can be interpreted as referring to such in occult literature.
Recently, I have come to the realization through years of occult study that dealing with this subject and its implications should be the priority of every apprentice to Sorcery. If we do not effectively tackle our Foreign Installation, we have small hope of succeeding in any other aspect of Sorcery. Whats more, all talk about stalking, hunting power, becoming a warrior and developing impeccability, as well as all the exercises of stopping the internal dialog, not doing, recapitulation, making the assemblage point fluid, etc. are in the final analysis, strategies for dealing with our own internal parasite first and foremost.
A little background on how I reached this conclusion:
I started reading Castaneda back 23 years ago when I was just finishing my undergrad in college. It effected and inspired me deeply, especially Tales of Power. However, I concluded back then that one needed to find a Toltec Sorcerer (or should I say, the sorcerer would find them) and become an apprentice to decipher and get much out of the spiritual path described in Castenadas writings. So I determined to find my true spiritual path. As the destiny would have it, I did find the Western Esoteric path. Ive spent these passing years applying myself to it. However, Ive always kept up my readings of Castenada as his books have become available. I now see that was equally a factor of destiny. Even though I have in my own estimation achieved certain occult accomplishments and became in my system, one who taught others, at a certain point, I hit a big brick wall in my attainments and suffered through several years of what I can only term a magical slump. I began to question the fundamental occult doctrines of my system. It lead me to a period of exploration of other occult systems. I discovered many spiritual traditions out there that were sometimes hundreds, if not thousands of years old. Many ideas were very similar to the system I had studied. Many other details seriously contracted not only my system, but each others systems too. Everyone of them claimed to be the epitome of truth upon which all other systems were but incomplete corruptions. In the end, however, I reached a point of information overload, the mental and spiritual equivalent of indigestion from overeating. I entered into a state of confusion where I no longer trusted any such information or occult path of knowledge.
In the past year or so, I made the acquaintance of a very remarkable individual. He knew a great deal about many of the systems I had been studying, especially my own. He also knew an enormous amount about Toltec Sorcery. After numerous conversations with him, Im convinced that he is very advanced in the skills praised and possessed by the sorcerers of the Castenada writings. He calls himself an Eternal Apprentice to Sorcery, but insists, however that he is not of the Toltec tradition, even though he is well versed in the writings of Castenada as well as many other contemporary Toltec writers that have emerged. He does not study, or apprentice under a Nagual. He says he doesnt take apprentices. He insists he is not a Nagual. His favorite name for himself is a Fool, a designation he often uses as a technical word to indicate an individual of his specific attainments. He claims to see energy as it flows in the universe. He also said that he has achieved true freedom. I do not doubt any of his claims for several good reasons. First, my own occult attainments are such that even though I dont see per se, I perceive many things about the vibrational quality of an individual and know for a fact that he is truly of a caliber of person who wouldnt lie about such things and abhors deceit in others. He is very quick to put me on the spot and nail me when I have told a falsehood or something that indicates I am in some way deceiving myself (more on this later). The other thing is that I have had practical demonstrations of his magical and occult abilities and when asked to explain how he did certain things, he would gladly accommodate me. Most of what he does, he explains in terms of manipulating luminous fibers. He describes it with such accuracy that I dont doubt that he directly perceives such. He also talks about many of his magical feats in terms of mastery of intent.
Finally, he is all about perceiving and acknowledging everything as it really is. He only considers himself a friend, but has nevertheless made himself very accessible to me for certain instruction. Many of our sessions can be quite tough. Its not that he is directly severe to me. He is however incessantly picky and constantly lectures and corrects me. He can be a downright stubborn, pompous ass (my own interpretation which he happily indulges) about being right. But I have to admit, that most of the points he makes, when I have simmered down from being incessantly humiliated, are spot on. No he doesnt mentally abuse me. But having an ego and being constantly called on my **** has the effect of upsetting me very much as my need for approval and acknowledgement gets romped on. He is polite, good humored, even apologizes for offending me, but maintains an absolutely ruthless stance on how the smallest of details about what I say, how I act and my choice of words betrays my egoisms and delusions. In his lecturing, he speaks compactly and with the terminology of a Sorcerer. It is sometime mysterious, until I later consider all the subtle meanings of a short phrase he used. In the moment, I often jump on something he says and misinterpret it or draw a false conclusion about it. He is quick to call me on such and to point out that I am not fully utilizing my awareness. I often seek him out with specific occult questions in mind. But he always ruthlessly controls the flow of the conversation. Not that he cuts me off. Indeed, he politely hears me out and in the end always accommodates my queries in detail, but only after he makes his points on how Im talking, where Im really coming from and what I really need to know at this juncture. I always come away feeling like I got more than I bargained for and not in the way I would have desired. But as the Stones song goes You cant always get what you wantyou get what you need.
Now at first glance, you may not think anything much about what Ive just said transpires between us. You may even conclude that maybe Im such an egomaniac that if you or anyone else had a conversation with me, you might be telling me off too. I maintain that I have a very good rapport in general with people and as Ive indicated previously, Im often sought out myself for occult tutoring. You could also conclude that this fellow I talk about has a control or superiority thing. Also not true. However, if you were just an average Joe looking for companionship and friendly interchange and got the treatment that I get from him, you would say to yourself boy this is so one-sided. With friends like that, who needs enemies! and write him off. The details from our communications that he picks out are indeed subtle. Yet he chooses to interact with me for the purpose that destiny has point us out to each other. He is doing me a service and could care less if I storm off and dont talk to him for months (which Ive done) let alone ever again. He knows that I have come to him for help on certain issues. He is not going to let someone like me dictate the terms and content of the conversation. We talk for hours, but he never waists his time on meaningless trivialities.
What is really going on between us when we communicate is that he is following a well considered strategy. He has a specific target in mind. Furthermore, he knew from the very beginning exactly what I was looking for. Even though Im only gaining an awareness of this fact gradually. I can look back at our first meetings and see that I was and continue to be looking for one particular thing from him. As we have transpired, he has become more informative of exactly what that is and has begun to overtly describe it. At the beginning, however, he was the only one consciously aware of it. He stalked it, carefully choosing how much to feed to me as he watched it react.
First J as I will refer to him, talked about my ego problems, my lack of awareness about what I was saying and what he was saying. He pointed out my errors in thinking and attributed them to social conditioning. He also pointed out that a good deal of what I have studied and trained myself in doesnt really amount to anything useful, because its all an extension of the indoctrination process, that Im fooled into believing represents real progress and development. Of coarse that was all hard to take. Gradually, however, he began to make it known that it was not the real, genuine me that was committing all these idiotic spiritual faut pas. It was my mind. And my mind was not really mine at all but a foreign installation. And when I got ridiculously upset at him, either because he presumably humiliated me or I misinterpreted something he said. It wasnt even me feeling embarrassed over being upset. That was all a device of my mind. The thing that was really behind it all was the real source of my behavior and it had no choice but to get very upset at Js chosen line of conversation because it was in danger of being discovered by me. J was relentlessly stalking my predator. I would become very upset about what he was saying because this parasite depended on me and was shitting in its pants about the prospect of being discovered and having its food supply cut off. It would therefore do anything it could to distract, confuse and otherwise keep me from understanding what J was trying to communicate to me as a matter of its own survival.
I discovered that what J meant about accomplishing total freedom had a good deal to do with getting rid of his own parasite and therefore becoming liberated from a form of slavery that most human beings suffer. I will try to present in my next installations the salient points of J's conversations about the the Mind as a Foreign Installation, it's traits and nature and how to overcome it.
To be continued
Toltechie