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k this may sound strange. but every once in a while i get this odd feeling i can't explain. it feels almost like a sense of impending doom but not quite.
i don't know how to explain it. I get this feeling randomly, once in a blue moon. During these periods it is much like a drug trip. it begins, peaks and
then fades.
During these periods i get a strange scary feeling of... well nothing. it feels like my head is going to explode, when i looks at things they seem like i am
seeing them for the first time. I get strange sensations all over my body. This causes me to feel panicked and i sometimes hyperventilate until i realise
it's all in my head. sometimes it feels like maggots crawling under my skin. or i feel like i am going to die at any second, even though I am not in any
immediate danger.
has anyone experienced this? i don't know what causes it or how to stop it. it scares the hell out of me. even tho it is not dangerous.
And ever since i feel myself being drawn back to the warriors way.
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I'll say that it's an awakening that you keep postponing... out of sheer fear. Let go and relax... sit in silent awareness... let power turn on the lights.
You will not loose anything of worth... that much I can assure you.
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Eilias when did it happen first time and what where you up to in your life at that time (Intending)?
Maybe it is Spirit knocking at your door!?
And as GS suggests: open up to the process and relax. See and feel what it brings.
In shamanism the experience of ones death is a natural part of the way.
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It started a year before i found nagualism when my dad went crazy (or was having an experience of his own.).
Then years later my friend had an unusual experience during a yoga meditation. then being in his presence induced the feeling in me. the last few times it
has happened when I'm in a car.
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Eilias I can't say that I KNOW what it is, but my hunch is that you should recapitulate the time around the first time, as well as all that happened.
Out of looking into that, you should be able to get a better understanding of what it is.
Do you know how to go ahead with that? Will you do it?
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Eilias what do you say to it?
Will you do a recap of the time around the first insident?
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i used to visit a nagal... who used to rip my awareness into different dimensions..... so i could sit at the table talking to him, whilst i could hear my own
screams from the otherworld .. it used to make me feel very sick... especially as i could never prove that he wasnt extracting my soul... and taking years off
my life, turning objects against me, destroying my sexual energy, driving me mad... and i thouht he was a devil worshipper....
god it was awful... I used to go back and see him as a warrior everytime i heard the feardrums beating... usually at ...
twice after seeing him i discovered my car had been stolen!... oh those where the days.. the best bit was...
everynow and then i would dream the most heartwarming dreams with his consiousness... but in real life he terrified me beyond belief....
i was never quite certain wether he was hypnotising me to like him in dreams.. so i would still go and visit!...
quite a few times i considered i was under hypnosis... and the screams were real.. whilst i just sat and watched ........
like i would walk into the house... be put to sleep immediatley.. then spend the rest of the night performing sick tricks for his amusement!... such as
repeatedly punching myself in the bollocks on command!.. or being raped by various strangers.. aww! bless!!!. but im assured the nagal has a sense of
humour!...
besides when people are being murdered tortured and abused around the planet... how could a nagal convey this understanding without irrational debilitating
fear as his main surgical tool!.. not to do so would be churlish in the extreme......
im certain had i failed in my fear tests i would be dead now!
yes i hate wannabe shamans who have never been through their fear tests... and just want to be more powerful about shtuff than others.... especially those who
like to use "traps" like from castaneda..., when they really dont have a !"£^$% clue!..
I used to recite the "battle chant of ATL'MAN" from theun mares cry of the eagle, and some tensegrity.. then some more battle chants... before i
even had enough energy to go and see him!..
I came home one night and had visibly aged.. that was worrying...... aww! bless...
real nagals are utter utter utter utter utter utterly lifechanging!... honestly they can rip you to pieces....
anyone who wishes to be known as a warrior can willingly take up some of my fear lessons for personal challenge!.. past challenges that have been completed can
be quite devestating..... I had to drive myself mad to escape the fear!... figured if i could destroy myself more than he was willing to destroy himself.. then
i could hide within his human personalities fear of mortality!.. and thus escape him beore i died... and claim victory (sort of)....
so many fakes an frauds live in this world.. there are millions of men who think they are shamans.. and i expect thousands more who secretely think themselves
to be nagals...
but the truth be known.. all their personal power is not power at all... just space in the unknown.. that allows them to be manipulative over others less nasty
in themselves!.... anyway... the eagle has sounded!! lets have a party!...
i cant wait to see what happens to the fakes.. because i know within my being that sobriety does not make a man strong.... especially those who... apon reading
that fear is the first enemy and sobriety the second, immediatley.. try to be challenged by the second....
those men are weak and have failed fear in the first second!!!....
warrior of atl'
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I forgot to add... had i at anypoint chosen to declare myself not an apprentice nagal... I would have been severed from the agreement... and been free to
leave... I would have then spent the rest of my life wondering what it would have been like if i hadnt been a coward!.... which is worse than any fear! the
real realisation that your life has hit a certain boundary.. and that the unknown has been made by your failure to fight!........ we all want to die.... the
only reason people are afraid is they cant work out how!... warrior of ATL'.
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ATL_____ THE BEING WHO SET THE CURRENT (POSITION OF HABIT) ASSEMBLAGE POINT MANKIND AS A SPECIES INHABITS!
ATL_____ THE BEING WHO SEES WHY IT WAS SET THIS WAY, WHAT IT WAS BEFORE AND WHAT IT WILL BECOME!
Sorcerers.. those who base their lives deliberatley radiating around the unknown of the current position...
left hand path--- those who devote their assemblage research to mankind as a species!
right hand path... those who devote their assemblage research to their own folly of identity.. and to hell with the "normal" people of earth!
CURRENT CHALLENGE PRESENT DAY.....
AS THE HABITUAL POSITION SET BY ATL IS MOVED>>>> ALL THOSE WHO HAVE ACHIEVED FLUIDITY WILL BE SWAYED BY ITS PROGRESS....
question..
AS all sorcerers radiate their awareness from the habitual starting point.. do they rely apon its stability for their freedom?
as it changes position... it will astoundingly make clear those who polarise with the habitual position or use association with aspects of the habitual
position for gain!..
the real world becomes the new unknown!...
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rosygyro wrote:
"like i would walk into the house... be put to sleep immediately.. then spend the rest of the night performing sick tricks for his amusement!... such as
repeatedly punching myself in the bollocks on command!.. or being raped by various strangers.. aww! bless!!!. but im assured the nagal has a sense of
humour!... "
Rosy, was this quote a dream or real event, I apologize for not being able to decipher it, but your post seems so heavily loaded with emotion that it was a bit
unclear to me. If this is a real event, then I hope that you are not still seeing this person, you should not have to endure torture to awaken!!!!!!!! My
heart goes out to you for experiencing this diabolical treatment, I hope that you are well and have healed from this abuse.
Artwarrior
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its OK.. I seriously damaged my third eye as a child... and although i had the seers ability prior to the accident... i lost my perception due to slip whilst
stalking that set my assemblage, a crack in my skull just above my nose..... scar tissue and a bad stitches by a hillbilly doctor.. sealed my third eye
shut!... so my spirit was torn between my physical and my aura accross a bridge of mortality! one inch either way and i would have died...
i lost my assemblage position, but still had a seer trapped within....
subsequently i needed absolutely terrorising in order to beg to awaken in order to gather the intent necissary to establish a fluidity of perception that
circumvented my physical damage!
my memory of seeing in one style is in early childhood...ive been a warrior ever since.. but i use the term warrior as a seer,, i have never been violent or
even sought to know how to fight! as i will not compromise my warriors shield by abusing my fellow man!...
the man who scared the wits out of me! knew this...and knew that my fear and madness was the only way to become fluid again!, besides if i want to believe a
nagal is evil.. who is he to argue.. he knows he isnt!...
and its better to believe a nagal is evil, than to find a genuinley evil person! although the line between the two is only angle of approach! ha ha.. ( i
think).
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if you look at it from a super genius level you will see, that a nagal is an immpecable being, and as suchhe is rather isolated from reality.. even though he
is terrifyingly more real thasn most....
his interactioin with humankind in general is always along incredibly powerful energy lines....but as his destiny is so intact he cannot deviate from his life
purpose..
now imagine a being who needs to bring change to his fellow man somehow! he is born a nagal.. but knows in his heart of hearts that he will flow with the other
nagals tyhroughout his life, but the worlds destiny will not arrive any sooner for his presence, just be lent strength to!....
the nagal child hits a plan!
keep ones destiny force as a nagal... but find a way to anchor the power in the normal world so as to drag humanity to its senses! basicly shifting ones
assemblage to such a level of association with the habitual position that when the nagal child begins to move again the habitual position cannot help but be
blasted in great depth by the unknown! smack his third eye in... seal his body shut like an energy trap... and let nature take its course!
like a planetary seed it drops in fluid... then grips everything... whilst staying tied to the nagal.. then moves with the flow of life!
no SEERS LAW IS BROKEN..as the nagual child is not deliberatly interfering with normal peoples assemblage.. he,s just a bit stuck.. and its his right as a
warrior to achieve freedom again! and not his right to prevent others from acheiving theirs!
this path is a massive boost for understanding the habitual position and its cure.. because it does need a cure!
people should not rape each other on any level whatso-ever! and if thats part of the habitual position of mankind.. the habitual position must be moved.
look at the yellow crystal sun glyph from the mayan calendar and you will see this is an energetic match! I dont think i am personally a yellow crystal sun..
its just one of the objectives my tonal has... I believe i am a white etheric worldbridger or some such similar description!
TOLTEC
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Worldbridger....I like this description Rosygro
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ahh so i found a clinical reason for what I am going through.
They call it an anxiety attack. However i do feel that there is more to this. I'm pretty sure it has to do with energy. And those that I have talked to
have also experienced similar stuff as well.
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rosygyro, your soliloquy is much farther (or closer) then much I read here. It has moved me in a way such that I see
the habitual position of mankind's assemblage point, clearly. It made me laugh a few times as well. You are an interesting and insightful teacher, subtle but profound. Thanks! We are all connected at the same point of intent.
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Sorry to becro post, but i thougth i would give an update. I have overcome the "panic Attacks". Our tonal minds are very powerful to use
"fear" as a means of controlling our freedom.
I did an excercise where i tried to explore my awareness. I asked "what is this peering through my eyes? It's my awareness!" I would explore my
awareness to find out where it existed. Suddenly i felt a rush of energy and I was uppity all day. Then i got the same subtle feeling... The feeling i get when
i find my hands in dreaming or the time i did mushrooms. What it is, is when my AP unexpectedly shifts somewhat. Don juan, i think, said to experience a shift
often feels like one is dying. I had forgotten about what it meant to shift. So my mind concocted a fear of dying: "could it be a heart attack? a
stroke?". which would send adrenaline pumping through my system, causing more panic, ad infinitum.
But ever since the day i explored where i felt my awareness, Whenever i get the initial rush. I remember that Fear is a barrier a warrior must overcome. I now
KNOW there is nothing to fear. I flow with the feeling and see where it leads. I feel more free now.
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rosygyro
Thanks for the tales... Truly inspiring to here about the reality shaking experience of meeting the nagal. How lucky you are to have meet such a person.
How did you find the nagal?
The changing of the times.
***
Link to BATTLE CHANT OF ATL'AMAN
http://www.warriorskeep.com/intent.html
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