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Starting the thread about MONEY now seems wildly premature.
If you were going to open up shop right now as a professional or freelance sorcerer, what sort of services would you definitely have to offer? What are the "core competencies" of the sorcerer's world?
If you were going to design the MENU for a sorcerer storefront, private practice, or perhaps even mobile delivery van, which services would HAVE TO be on it?
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1.) Soul retrieval
2.) ...
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Pixie Dust wrote:
2. Party masks
Is that anything like identity politics?
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What I'm actually concerned about is that if no such menu of tasks is possible, it is maybe because sorcerers don't do anything useful.
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Oh it is possible all right. It is a wonder how you are at a loss to find some items. I am inclined to think it is because you want us to give you ideas instead of you giving ideas yourself  .
go to some basic shamanic seminars, your menu will fill up like magic (if not then you are doing something wrong). You can also skim through the books around the sorcerers taught by DJ, that will add a couple more items on the list (e.g. burying a person in the ground in a way that they can be there for a while - very helpful for sorcerers). The issue is not with what could be offered but who would be able to offer/deliver all of it and the kind of customer that this would require  . That kind of customer would need to be willing to do some work. Sorcery/shamanism is really about a path to a different reality/awareness, in order for that to actually be successful the so-called customer will not be able to just sit on his or her ass (which is why many stop offering services, those willing to do the work get there and those who are not are well not really the target audience anyway).
It might well be true that sorcerers do not do anything useful for others, consistently, in a save common mortals kinda way (but even they could put in a couple of nice things on that list that might help a common person out in expanding a bit). And soul retrieval is under the umbrella of shamanism, not CC-style sorcery. Shamanism has a lot of healing techniques that can be offered to the common man. For inspiration, you can also go to some websites offering stuff - those you'll have to find yourself, but I'm sure it's easy (I stumble upon them even without wanting to).
Just yesterday I mentioned a powerful shamanic practice... I'm sure plenty of people would be interested in. The question there would be more about who would be able to offer it and if the circumstances would be right for it to happen.
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i remember back when i was 23 or something and had become a reiki master.. (haha) traditional usui and some other terra mai or something.. 2 grand down and there i was a 23 year old reiki master.
I wouldnt be suprised at a snort of derision at the idea and in truth i decided i too didnt really think it was fair..
I had very grave concerns about the expanded tonal of new age healers and couldnt honestly prove that new age healers were not causing illness in an unknown periphery of people and then drawing them into their crystal caves like cash cows and milking them for money.
One of my super duper sacred symbols was the symbol for the violet flame, a sacred shape that would make a magical window through which i could take the extracted garbage from psychic surgery and just fling it into an inknown fire where it would be transmuted into love...
sounded a bit suss and so oneday i drew a 6 foot tall violet flame..
unzipped it and stepped through.
quite incredibly i found a diseased nexus, like some convergence of sewers under a metropolis
there were portals all around me with shite just flying through
and it was just swirling around.
technicly thousands of healers were just plugging rape and abuse victims, stressed out hippies and cancer patients into a place that none of them had ever really investigated.
and so i turned to go back and found the portal i had made was a one way door.
I had shifted my assemblage point and found my perception placed in hell.
from that moment on every living person had a portal into me through which they vented their pain.. and i found my mind screaming with them.
what would i teach?
I would teach people forebearance .
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oh wait i might try and isolate the enzyme that civet cats have in their guts and use it to ferment coffee beans in a vegan way.
vegan kopi luac.. save the rainforests.
that would be really cool man.
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rosy wrote:couldnt honestly prove that new age healers were not causing illness
I hear ya... and this is also why I have not been drawn to official 'professional' healing services. And when I went to 'get healed' to a shaman I was not given any miracle healing. I was told what to do/where to start and then that just opened up more stuff to work on and more stuff to work on... and all in all here I am, not having the problem I came to the shaman with and being a lot more wiser (while the shaman just told me some two sentences, but then a lot of work followed that did not even link to those two sentences really heh).
And this is the problem with healers, they can take away your journey and learning. Which in itself is a type of making you ill (because you do not learn on the deeper layers stuff that is helpful in general). What real helpers do is brush your link with spirit and help you heal yourself. Anything else is second grade. But, let's face it, second-grade help is often very sought after. And I am not gonna say it is evil or bad per se - people go to the doctor don't they... it is a service they need. Not everyone is ready to work their ass off for a couple of years, change their life around and whatnot to get rid of their ailment.
let's say there are differences in the quality, as well as the effort required from the seekers of help. And there are different 'healers' who meet these demands. Should it be like this? Should the people who want an easy, but not a wholesome, way out not be given what they want?
The thing with the fire... that would need a thorough looking into. Not sure what practice you speak of with the violet flame. I have at some points flung (a specific type of) stuff/thing into the fire, but this was a special fire for that purpose and there was a wise spirit present who advised me to use that fire. If indeed it would mean that the thing that I let burn just went into another world to be there... I have to say that that might be what needed to happen. And the thing might even originate from that world. (Ofc I am talking theoretically here, the thing I burned just burned and disintegrated).
You know how shamans do extractions and actually transmute the bad stuff into an object? This is ofc so that the people can see it leaving the body but I also think making it into matter may help dispose of it in a different way.
You know how some things are buried to be neutralized? It is not like the bad stuff just vanishes... there is a recycling process... hm?
fire has the ability to recycle certain things fast...
some things are better disposed of in other ways.
And some things I wonder if they can be disposed of at all...
the question that I would ask linked to what you write with this world and purple flame is, would it have been better to leave the 'bad' stuff where it was? I'd probably say no. Like if a person has inside them some black goo.. is it not better to remove it and put it wherever the black goo comes from or can live without harming others?
I think it would be good for the world to be taught / to learn forbearance...
I am not that familiar with the English term, so am gonna just specify that I see that very linked with politeness and behavior in communities (of people or spirits or any kinds of beings as well as with the beings that are oneself).
'politeness' (as I am using the term) is not some moral construct, it is a very real sorceric strategy / way of being...
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watergaze wrote:
You know how some things are buried to be neutralized? It is not like the bad stuff just vanishes... there is a recycling process... hm?
fire has the ability to recycle certain things fast...
some things are better disposed of in other ways.
And some things I wonder if they can be disposed of at all...
the question that I would ask linked to what you write with this world and purple flame is, would it have been better to leave the 'bad' stuff where it was? I'd probably say no. Like if a person has inside them some black goo.. is it not better to remove it and put it wherever the black goo comes from or can live without harming others?
I think it would be good for the world to be taught / to learn forbearance...
I am not that familiar with the English term, so am gonna just specify that I see that very linked with politeness and behavior in communities (of people or spirits or any kinds of beings as well as with the beings that are oneself).
'politeness' (as I am using the term) is not some moral construct, it is a very real sorceric strategy / way of being...
If a world, a planet, is composed of a variety of "goo"--it complicates co-existence. Black goo doesn't mix easily with white goo. Yet, both bring balance and are necessary for life to flourish. We have sunshine and we have rain. Too much sun or too much rain destroys nature.
Politeness is a sorceric strategy, but so are other methods of self-expression (not that you denied other methods). Perhaps the key to sorcery lies not in actions themselves, but in the intent hidden behind each action. It is very easy, second grade level, to appear nice (or ugly) in behavior. It takes a more discerning mind to see beyond behavior and into the spirit of a person. Those who see, value, and support the good in others are very clear to see.
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Yes, we would have to know a lot more about goo . Can white and black goo coexist or even mix? Maybe it can - like black and white people . Maybe goo is compatible, maybe it isn't. Maybe even if it is it is looked down upon as diluting the race - our planet knows a bit on that front... so what is best to do with the goo? 
yes, I agree with ya Pixie on the seeing beyond behavior.
Politeness the way I talk of it is a lot more than about self-expression. It can also be like a map. It tells you where to place yourself. I guess for me it is like politeness is a common term that I use way beyond its common meaning. Like a way to be in sync with the energies, to move with them in a way that creates the least resistance to the whole (by which I do not mean least resistance to bad behavior or some such, I mean to a certain type of flow). And I guess it is not that linked to chaos but a lot more to order. Still, chaos has good effects sometimes too... there may be times when one needs to drop politeness.
I have found that my 'chaos moves' are so much more effective especially because they are not a usually experienced thing. It is like knocking on a door flings it open as if I had kicked it down. I feel like a zen master or some tai chi guru or whoever these people are that can knock you over with a pat from a meter away (thnx to their knowledge of energies and flow) .
Oooo but now I got myself a thought idea omg... what if people who are a lot more into chaos and such get same results when they do order and sync with energy flows... hmmm hmmm.... maybe I shall turn 180 degrees now hahaha
well, on second thought, it is more practical the way I do it for me because I live more in a world that functions on order than on chaos... but it is still an interesting thought.. can't shake it off entirely
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There's a place for order and chaos in the world, I agree Believe it or not, I'm very fond of order and when I do engage chaos, it's typically controlled chaos. The only risks I take are calculated ones. I also enjoy being manipulative and lying when it suits my agenda. I know that doesn't sound like the best methods but to each their own. Perhaps I am black goo trying to live among the white. Perhaps I'm white goo trying to find balance by incorporating some black. Perhaps I'm a beautifully complex goo with many shades of gray. Who knows what I am, but being any one thing never seems ideal. Appropriateness is important to me and sometimes, as you've mentioned, there are times when one needs to drop politeness. I like how you describe politeness as having more depth than I originally assumed.
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I think you are the goo that likes to try almost everything out . How does it taste, what does it feel like, how far will it fly? and so on.
You like and dislike almost everything... and sometimes even at the same time. It is a master piece of goo that can hold many goo vibrations... again sometimes even at the same time (which means then that it is more things at once but not any of those things in particular). You are also a goo that can either reflect or shapeshift into a goo that it is facing (literally or symbolically). I mean what would be the point of being goo if one cannot metamorph, right?
The problem you face is that this can make you unreachable or unintelligible sometimes, even scary to many common goo sorts (cause they cannot fathom what it is they are witnessing).
Me, I am just the goo that likes to flow, like water and not get in the way of the important stuff . And I don't like to be too sticky and this is tragic because it means (that while you are enjoying different forms of goo) I am always striving to break out of my gooy nature.
Roflmao... leaving the poetics of goo, I am going out with the dog and hope that he will do some gooy stuff of his own (and hope it is not of the flowing kind) in a timely manner so I don't have to be out in the cold too long.
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ponder this situation from my past...
People are leaving a room. I find myself in front of the narrow door exit with the shaman and me heading for it in a 'at the same time' kinda way. We are both moving to the exit and notice each other and that we shall collide if neither adjusts her course. I see it in her eyes that she sees it. We are very close to the door, there is no time to just slow down naturally to let her pass first.
I am younger by some decades, not to mention it is clear where power lies lol, not to mention it is someone I respect and I want to not inconvenience the shaman as much as possible. I am aware how this will happen in a most effective way. I speed up and slip through the door while the shaman keeps her pace and does not have to alter it in any way.
Having done this I realize in retrospect that me moving before the shaman might be interpreted as being disrespectful. But there is nothing to be done any more with that. The way I saw it in that split nanosecond that I had to decide was that if I stop to let her pass it would just result in her stopping as well until this ritual is resolved and then she'd go fist with a smile and I'd go second and all would be properly polite and respectful and whatnot. But what I did, was that I did a maneuver... I had to be nimble and swift. It actually meant I had to do more effort. I inconvenienced myself not to inconvenience her. Was that not respectful and polite? Was it less respectful? I do not know. I only know what the moment felt like for me. I did not see how she reacted because she was behind me when this was happening (I can imagine her being a bit surprised and then doing her different type of smile thing).
Like I said, it could easily be interpreted as being insolent and disrespectful. But someone seeing behind things who were looking at me would know that I did it out of respect. One would be a social form of respect/politeness, the other was an energetic/movement/flow form of respect/politeness. But it still gets me to wonder sometimes at these kinds of things
I respected the flow of the shaman more than the social constructs . Choices choices
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there is another funny anecdote from a dream from years ago linking to passing through doors.
Me and the shaman.... we somewhere and there are some people beings heading for an elevator door. The people look old and feeble but I see that this is not true - they are actually strong spirits. There is no reason for me to get involved, they don't need my help.
Once it is clear I am not going to do anything... the shaman dashes forward and opens the door for these spirits.
Is this about politeness?
This helped me see a bit of where I am too stiff
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Reading your post made me feel very nice. I agree with all that you've observed and suggested. Yes, I do experiment a lot. I like to understand how nouns work (people, places, and things). I want to become an expert on whatever interests me. I'm very much a nerd. I also do shift a lot, into many things, and that can be scary for people who don't understand the stretchiness I utilize.
I realize that I do scare people. It's typically a defense mechanism to push people away, to make me unreachable, because they've stumbled over a vulnerability. It's like stepping on my toe.... the moment I'm stepped on, I punch that person away because I'm in pain. The first time I'm stepped on I might gently move the person off me. For repeat offenders, I just shoot them when they enter the room. My reactions are different depending on the circumstance and the people involved. But yes, the bottom line is I'm very good at scaring people. Yet, I don't see this as a problem for me. It might be a problem for the person I shoot, but it's not a problem for me. Yes, it might limit friends, but if I'm going to shoot someone, odds are I don't want them as a friend.
Then, there are the unfortunate people I REALLY enjoy, but I can't tolerate certain things about them. Those are tough because I'm extremely honest. They'll step on my toes, I'll step on theirs, and then it goes from accidental missteps to intentional missteps. The passive aggressive behavior settles in and we push one another away due to misunderstandings/miscommunication. These people think I've shot them when I've just pushed them into another room until I can learn to tolerate them. I'm bent in that I have extremely high expectations of people. I expect high intelligence, morals, and ethics. This often makes people feel like they've failed me in some way... and I often feel like they have, so they aren't imagining the disappointment. I wish I wasn't like that, I wish that I accepted people as they are, flaws and all. To cope, I keep people far enough away so they can't offend me. To unbend my bent personality, I've had to accept that I'm a freak of nature and just different than others. If I'm the one that's different, then other people are normal, and that makes them okay to be different than me. I don't know why this is what fixes things for me, but it does, and I find I'm a lot less frustrated with people. That said, I still keep people away because I prefer my own company because I find it exceptionally easy to make myself happy (because I understand myself).
It's me who is different and quite bent when seen by others. I love my bends though, so while it disturbs others, it doesn't disturb me--and all things considered, I'm more interested in being happy with myself than in making others happy. Not that I don't want to make other people happy, but that if I'm forced to choose between satisfying myself or others, I make myself the priority. That and any quality friend would never make me choose between my self-interest or theirs. I hope that I would never make someone choose between their self-interest or mine. Then again, when I shift there have been times when I've thrown people against their will--but I see it as me helping them adhere to their self-interest... sadly, I justify this by believing it's on behalf of their spirit and not their mind. I do the things that go against their tonal to support their double--because that's what allows me to sleep at night. I can live with myself when I know I've served their spirit to the best of my ability. Now, whether or not that's what is truly best for their spirit or what the other person believes best for them is an entirely different perspective. I'm not saying what I do is right or correct. I'm saying what I do is right and correct for me.
I'm more bent than most of the human population. Yet, I get a lot done with my bends. I do the stuff I want to do. I love the people in my life. I have "enemies" who support me by challenging me and pushing me to be a better version of myself. My bends have brought me here. I like here. I REALLY like here. So. I've heard that people want me to work on my bends, but, I'm kinda liking how they impact my life. The only bend I want to straighten a bit is the one where I expect too much from people. I need to learn to be more tolerant of incompetence xD OR! I need to hire a middle-man, with a delightful personality, to speak on my behalf
I appreciate you seeing me without judgment. I needed that.
I enjoy your version of goo. You have this refreshing acceptance for everyone. A trait someone like me couldn't do. I'm so critical of people, society, HUMANITY. Lol. You're willing to be kind instead of critical. People like you need to be here (on this planet), you're what gives people hope and that's a priceless gift. As much as I think you ought to punch more people in the face (including me, at times), I love that you love them before you punch them in the face. Like, you believe it's important to intend well before you act. It's nice to see there is kindness left in the world. My spirit wishes it saw more of that kind of love for others in the world. My tonal gives no f*cks on what it sees. Life is weird.
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watergaze wrote:
ponder this situation from my past...
Like I said, it could easily be interpreted as being insolent and disrespectful. But someone seeing behind things who were looking at me would know that I did it out of respect. One would be a social form of respect/politeness, the other was an energetic/movement/flow form of respect/politeness. But it still gets me to wonder sometimes at these kinds of things
I respected the flow of the shaman more than the social constructs . Choices choices
I like this. Yeah, it's tough having to make these sorts of decisions. Ideally, I just hope the other person understands without having to explain it. That's more laziness on my end as I'm willing to DO things, but I'm not particularly fond of explaining what I'm doing. That's the snob in me. "Why I gotta explain if I'm helping someone?" That sort of attitude and arrogance. It makes sense to me, so it should be clear as day to everyone else lol. Recently, I came to the realization that just because I make sense to me doesn't mean I'll make sense to others.
I like how you moved in relation to your shaman. I like that someone else thinks about these things too.
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watergaze wrote:
there is another funny anecdote from a dream from years ago linking to passing through doors.
Me and the shaman.... we somewhere and there are some people beings heading for an elevator door. The people look old and feeble but I see that this is not true - they are actually strong spirits. There is no reason for me to get involved, they don't need my help.
Once it is clear I am not going to do anything... the shaman dashes forward and opens the door for these spirits.
Is this about politeness?
This helped me see a bit of where I am too stiff
Lol. People are weird. That's how I sum up your experience. I think the timing is an important feature. Mood, emotions, experience, and hunger play a feature too. I don't see you as too stiff. I might have opened the door because I prefer to blend in with expectations when it involves strangers (particularly old people). Sometimes it's easier to abide by social norms because I don't want to experience the bad juju vibes from oldies (those bug me). Then again, I might have let them be independent if they looked able. Some people are offended when given help. Add into the mix what the spirit thinks about the situation and who knows what I might do.
I figure you and the Shaman were each right. But if you think you're stiff and don't like it, then you certainly could change you. I just don't quite understand why you think yourself too stiff..... and really, some people are naturally stiff and maybe they don't need to change that. What if that's the thing that makes them eccentric and exotic? It's different. I'm fond of different. Different is interesting. Then again, you aren't trying to appeal to me. You're trying to appeal to yourself.
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Could you give me an examples of how the bends impact your life in good ways?
I thought my bends did good in the world, but then in the end the older I am the more I am seeing that even though it looked to be very good it was not as good on the deeper layers as I previously thought - kinda like what we say about sometimes it is best to drop politeness and unleash some chaos cause it can be better and good on the underlayers even if it seems to not be good on the surface.
so, I'd like to see and am curious if your bends are of a different nature .
Personally, I in myself try to smooth out my bends. I have seen it betters my health and well being, connects me better with the world too, all of which links to happiness and fulfillment.
Your way of being OK with your bends seems strange to me (to a degree, I too am ofc ok with some of my current bends and am ok with myself even if I strive to change for the better)... because when I was OK with my bends (or did not recognize them as bends even) I was a lot more ill. It shows how different people and their bodies are. As well as spirits and whatnot. Sometimes I change because it is the right thing to do and not because I want to specifically. I am sure ofc that there are many bends in me still that I need to identify and smooth out and such, just saying that my general policy of dealing with identified bends is different than yours. And that to me it is mindblowing that anyone would accept a bend when they can smooth it out and allow the energy to flow more freely.
But I hear you that it is a strange pressure to come from outside. That others push on you to get rid of your bends. Such decisions should come from you. And even if not from really your inside then at least not from another person pushing you into it. Cause in my case... did the pressure really come from me in my case? I would say I was kinda forced into it (by aspects of myself acting out sure, but not by a normal ooh what shall i do today, lets start working on this thing) and then stuff got so much better I am trying to be wiser now... I think everyone naturally does not want to change stuff, change themselves, their bad sides. We get a familiarity with ourselves that it seems our bad and good sides are what makes us us.
Imo it is not so. I am not my bends nor my straightness . I am something beyond all this (fluidity ftw).
I would assume, Pixie, that one thing that makes it easy to morph is to know who you are or else to not have an identity in a way that most people do. One or the other works really well. But I guess in the first case one still needs to learn to let go, in the other the letting go might be quite easy.
It was hard to let go of something that was unhealthy but a familiar part of me. even if I knew it was not helping me it was still me. That was just an illusion though - it was not me. I am not less because I kicked it to the curb. And same goes for stuff people might consider good things in me - like being considerate and polite. Ofc some things come from places of one's spirit, others come from bad habits. The first is more linked to who we are ofc .
And, you know, I had to smile at the fact that there is one bend youd like to smooth out - that is where it might all start - beware! You might smoothe it out and then shift. And from this shift you might start to see another bend that would be just a bit better if it was smoothed out a bit, and then from there....
That is kinda how it went for me.... down down the rabbit hole . Damn the thing!
Yes, I get it that one becomes functional even with the bents. And mind you I have seen how greatly functional you can be when you set your mind to something. But ofc it is not the bends that makes us functional... we'd learn to be that even once they are smoothed out - after a period of inconvenience while we are figuring it out.
I dare say, it is not just about your bends when people are disturbed. Often enough it is their own bends that do it.
" I'm saying what I do is right and correct for me. "
everyone should do what is right and correct for them. The problem is if there are too many bends they might lead to misrepresenting facts/ not seeing as clearly as one might otherwise. So one might think one is fighting for what is best and correct ... but it is not so - I speak here from my own experience. Once the bends are smoothed out the vision changes and then it is time to facepalm a bit . So much energy spent for something that didnt do that much good at all.
Be more tolerant of incompetence? hehe yeah I hear ya
I can be in intolerant states myself. Not good states for me I can tell ya.
Sometimes I think my being just cannot take certain harsher murkier settings just... like literally cannot process them properly and I get ill.
Other people might be of a cruder material, by which I'd not say worse but more sturdy and in that sense healthier. Like say some dog breeds that have all sorts of parentage are more healthy than some pure bloods. I'm like a pure blood, have some perks that go with it and some disadvantages. Like say if one has some angel blood that just made the whole body quiver when there were impure thoughts (rofl yea not those kinds of impure thoughts but a quiver might be present there too). And then these pollute and the whole body gets into a bad state and well... there we are... advantage or disadvantage? both I'd say. Someone with some demon blood might have the same adverse reaction to having some good thoughts. And then there is the person who is a mix of this and that who can think and do what they want when they want for xyz decades until their body shows any signs of adverse reactions.
I wonder if it is still considered to be a vitrue if not doing it would be detrimental and lead to one's doom .
I hear you when you say your bends have brought you here. I think to my past illness sometimes and how I should be grateful for having it because it brought me to shamanism and whatnot. But why carry it with me past that point? Why not let go of the bends that made me ill? What is the point of dragging them with me just cause it might be scary to change?
But, given your bends do not affect you in ways that make you ill and such... it might be different for you.
Then there is still the question of are bends bad even if some people are mix bloods and do not notice that they actually affect them... at least not yet... usually people notice in their later years of adulthood things that had a bad effect over the years on their health. Maybe they liked to induldge too much in tabbaco and now have trouble with their lungs or they never tried to cool their temper and got stomach problems now etc. If they had stomach problems already when they had those patterns of behavior at 20, they might have had a quite different life and utilized different and healthier strategies for dealing with problems etc. Is it better that their bodies/spirits were sturdy and could take it until later age? Or would it have been better if they had known right away?
Ofc best would be for us to notice these things without our body or spirit suffering... but sadly most of us are dense .
The problem would be if definition of 'bad bend' would depend on stuff like whether one has angel or demon blood - that would get a lot more complicated. But, if my observation are correct, it seems to me it is not so for us humans. We seem to be pretty consistent in what has adverse reactions to us. Though ofc our limits differ. I would not say this is the case with everything, but with enough. Like we need oxygen to breather - but sherpas are able to live in higher altitudes where others would suffer etc.
Funny when you say you are so critical of people. I see you conversing with and trying out things from all sorts of people and often you are more attracted to the troublemaker kind (like here at the site I mean where I can see you) . But, well, let's face it those people are often more fun... for a while at least...
Oh yes, I do believe it is important what place your actions come from. I do wish that good intentions made more of a difference and not pave the way to hell, as they say . So, for me it is the goal to come from a place of good that is not soo greatly linked to those good intentions that lead to hell. There is a place of still good intentions but one that is like more impersonal. Still... 'tis a work in progress. Hope no one ends in hell. Fingers crossed
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watergaze wrote:
Could you give me an examples of how the bends impact your life in good ways?
I thought my bends did good in the world, but then in the end the older I am the more I am seeing that even though it looked to be very good it was not as good on the deeper layers as I previously thought - kinda like what we say about sometimes it is best to drop politeness and unleash some chaos cause it can be better and good on the underlayers even if it seems to not be good on the surface.
so, I'd like to see and am curious if your bends are of a different nature .
Hrm. I, uh, need to be deliberately vague regarding how my bends impact my life in a good way. I can get the point across by using a fictitious example tho I have a knack for being very skilled with understanding systems and people. It began from a natural curiosity and eventually evolved into skills I could use for a career. So..... I teach...... and teaching people how to be independent thinkers and moving pieces on a chess board around for ultimate benefit is something I have a lot of personal pride in (pride=ego, doesn't bother me tho). The bends I have, like being annoyingly focused and particular (easily annoyed when people do things differently than how I do them) works well because I notice all sorts of minor things that many people overlook. My particular bend of OCD is beneficial in certain environments where being highly detail oriented is desired. It also means, I often require a partner because I do tend to get lost in whatever I'm working on.... like, I need well-visit checks because sometimes I forget to eat or sleep when I'm working on something. It's helpful to what I'm working on, but sometimes not so helpful to my health. Yet, I like the way things are. It's because of my OCD that changes occur. I enjoy being useful, the puzzles fascinate me. So no, my bends are not necessarily healthy, but they make me feel good, like I have a purpose, and that is personally very meaningful to me.
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Pixie Dust wrote:I like this. Yeah, it's tough having to make these sorts of decisions. Ideally, I just hope the other person understands without having to explain it. That's more laziness on my end as I'm willing to DO things, but I'm not particularly fond of explaining what I'm doing. That's the snob in me. "Why I gotta explain if I'm helping someone?" That sort of attitude and arrogance. It makes sense to me, so it should be clear as day to everyone else lol. Recently, I came to the realization that just because I make sense to me doesn't mean I'll make sense to others.
I like how you moved in relation to your shaman. I like that someone else thinks about these things too.
Yep, same here, I too hope it is understood without having to explain. I hope there is no need to explain. That is best. But most people are not mind readers. Maybe the shaman, given her level of awareness and comprehension was aware of my actions and intents, but maybe she was not and thought what an impolite girl I am . Would that be her fault? I mean it did all happen in a matter of 2 seconds. One fleeting moment in life...
I am not confident I would be able to understand little things like this in always perfect/true ways. I need explanations too... especially when it links to some of the stuff the shaman does haha. But yea, I don't always get explanations and I have had to learn to get into a state of mind where that does not matter. It is sometimes really really hard though .
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Pixie Dust wrote:Lol. People are weird. That's how I sum up your experience. I think the timing is an important feature. Mood, emotions, experience, and hunger play a feature too. I don't see you as too stiff. I might have opened the door because I prefer to blend in with expectations when it involves strangers (particularly old people). Sometimes it's easier to abide by social norms because I don't want to experience the bad juju vibes from oldies (those bug me). Then again, I might have let them be independent if they looked able. Some people are offended when given help. Add into the mix what the spirit thinks about the situation and who knows what I might do.
I figure you and the Shaman were each right. But if you think you're stiff and don't like it, then you certainly could change you. I just don't quite understand why you think yourself too stiff..... and really, some people are naturally stiff and maybe they don't need to change that. What if that's the thing that makes them eccentric and exotic? It's different. I'm fond of different. Different is interesting. Then again, you aren't trying to appeal to me. You're trying to appeal to yourself.
The stiffness is seen in the way how I did not analyze the situation further. Ideally, if I were wiser, I'd see these were very powerful spirits and that I need to show respect and politeness. (That it is expected even and that not doing it might not be good). I did not go that far. I was on the level of functionality and overt practicality - as is my predilection (hence I called it stiffness). Like they are able to open their own door so they should . Kinda like telling kings they should dress and undress themselves cause they got 2 properly functioning hands...
Plus... (yea that is not all)... in dreams as in life sometimes you have like little tests. Or let's say moments when you are observed (cause it is not like a test test I'd hope, though sometimes it is even that)... sometimes you can make impressions on people that then last or affect something. And sadly those making the impressions do not always see all... so say I might seem rude to the spirits if they had not realized I was actually being considerate by not pitying them and thinking them feeble when they were not (although calling that being considerate is a bit of a stretch hehe, I was just practical is all - I looked, saw they don't need help, didn't give any ).
Imagine it as a sort of a test.... in the sense that the powerful spirits disguised themselves as feeble old humans and wanted to see what happens, how we behave... too bad I saw through it . That was not supposed to happen :S XD
So, I treated them in practical terms and maybe that is not what they were supposed to be treated like. And I'd say the shaman would know better, given her experience and my lack thereof, that it was appropriate to open the door . (which I might have noticed had I observed / felt into it more closely).
I also think we were each right. But would the spirits think so? (would the king think so? )
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watergaze wrote:
I hear you when you say your bends have brought you here. I think to my past illness sometimes and how I should be grateful for having it because it brought me to shamanism and whatnot. But why carry it with me past that point? Why not let go of the bends that made me ill? What is the point of dragging them with me just cause it might be scary to change?
But, given your bends do not affect you in ways that make you ill and such... it might be different for you.
Funny when you say you are so critical of people. I see you conversing with and trying out things from all sorts of people and often you are more attracted to the troublemaker kind (like here at the site I mean where I can see you) . But, well, let's face it those people are often more fun... for a while at least...
Oh yes, I do believe it is important what place your actions come from. I do wish that good intentions made more of a difference and not pave the way to hell, as they say . So, for me it is the goal to come from a place of good that is not soo greatly linked to those good intentions that lead to hell. There is a place of still good intentions but one that is like more impersonal. Still... 'tis a work in progress. Hope no one ends in hell. Fingers crossed
Start fixing one bend and all the other bends begin to line up, eh? I view it as we're all working on something to enhance ourselves, in some way, constantly. Yet, I find I'm pretty happy with my place in life. So the things I'm working on aren't necessarily self-improvement focused, but more project focused. Example, I might care more about working out if I'm traveling to a primitive location where I'm expected to endure more labor intensive activities. On the other hand, if I'm working at a desk most of my day, I would enhance mental acuity. I do these things because they're beneficial to an objective, but I don't do them to fix a bend. If there's a purpose to fixing a bend, I'll fix a bend. If there's no purpose, then I let the bend sit because it's not doing any harm. You sound like you want to fix a bend because that makes the most sense for you and it makes you feel good. Those are also good reasons to fix a bend
The people you see me engaging at the site, lol. Sorcery is a very special situation and there are some special circumstances regarding the people I choose to engage that are outside of what I'm comfortable talking about openly. Let's just say, appearances are often deceiving and what you're seeing has a lot history and backstory involved in it that makes it particularly exciting for me to engage. So while you see above the surface, know there are lots of tangled roots underground that I'm also engaging. Let's just say, it's complicated.
With regard to Hell, I'm very fond of dark places. That's one of my bends. I'm too familiar with the uglier sides of people. So when you say you hope no one goes there--I live there. Not physically, but I spend most of my awake time focusing on the darker places of humanity. Not in some morbid obsession (I think), but it's like chefs. Chefs think about food often because they work with them often. I have the pleasure of working with not very nice people often. That sort of mentality, energy, and overall awareness rubs off. Imagine how different the mindset of a kindergarten teacher and a homicide detective would be. Engaging any reality on a regular basis shifts the AP and it's really difficult to shift out of that for someone who has been committed to doing whatever it is they do. Those who are very efficient at what they do have likely built up a lot of experience and sometimes, having a lot of experience with bad people leads to serious bends in the personality. The kindergarten teacher would be excited to share, interact, and engage people on a normal basis (generally speaking). The homicide detective would isolate himself in his work and be reasonably mistrustful of people.
Sometimes the bends exist because of what we love. If I form a bend as a result of helping people escape dark places, I'm more than okay with that. Psychologists are deeply aware of the darkness the psyche can possess. Too much of that immersion and it can become a struggle to wash out all the inhumane deeds people commit against one another. Some of it is really horrible to even be aware of its existence. So, maybe I should change what I love to do to straighten out my bends.... but that would mean leaving people alone in their darkness and I'm not okay with that yet. Anyway, yes, I agree people probably should work on any bends they want to work on. I've just chosen to keep some bends as it's sort of a requirement of loving people. I would rather love people and risk having bends than not loving them and being bend free. I'm weird, I know. Tho I think many of us make similar sacrifices for those we care for.
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So reading your two posts explaining some about how you approach bends. Yes, it makes total sense to me. I too kept certain bends due to them protecting people that I love. but I curbed them a bit and utilize them in a much more aware manner and am still seeking for ways to get to the same goal and stop bending myself to get there. And I have been succesfful too... it is a work in progress...
And what you describe as linking to your OCD ... I have the same thing, though no OCD . I start working, am super detail oriented, dont drink or eat the whole day even sometimes, dont sleep sometimes even etc. I consider it a good skill to have. I have not done away with it. but yea the sleep is not too great maybe - I do not know... but I'd say I read some yogis or whatnot can focus so much they dont sleep either. I think it is about strength of purpose or at least the ability fo focus and concentrate. I know people who would not be able to pull an all nighter, and people who get angry if they eat 15 minutes later than they are used to. I find that weird as I can not eat a whole day without noticing if my attension is occupied .
I did suffer when I did not drink... my bladder complained. So I devised strategies to get myself to drink more regulraly and such. I need to be more aware of some things so my body does not suffer. I can do that. It is part of what I do now and I keep my purpose and everything. So yea listening to the body is important. If you have no bad side effects then there is no reason to consider it an unhealthy thing.
So, if you are like me, I'd say it is not an OCD thing (but probs it contributes?). I think it links to the strength of your attention and concentration . Should we curb the power of our focus? Hell no! We should just apply it more wisely and to the degree that is best . For me.. this year I had periods of no-time-to-sleep and that is what I had to do for myself and my learning. My body did not suffer any illness so in that sense I did not feel like I was hurting it. Though I did age a bit during the time - which was unusual but guess it makes some sense given the regenerative effects of sleep that I skipped on. I guess I am not superwoman after all .
If I over do it then it is not good, if I keep it to a certain limit then it is a great superpower .
But there are things that can be called bends in a better way, which are not really that helpful. Like someone having road rage - how is that in any way good?
I guess when I say bend I mean things that obstruct natural flow. And sometimes it is the most natural thing to forget the time and explore to one's own pleasurable and useful purpose . As long as one keeps an eye out that one does not starve or die of thirst or some organ failure .
But say something like not being able to voice a protest when someone is badgering you or being mean. That is obviously something that would have a bad impact if a person is not capable to defend themselves.
Or if one is too shy, this also has a certain bend and it inhibits experiencing and freedom of expression.
Or if one is too cynical omg, that flavor can go quote toxic...
Or judgmental... that is not helpful or good for one's relationships. But if one is incapable of judgment it might be a detrimental thing too... hence I guess it all depends on the person and the way the bend manifests. It is what even shows whether it is a bend.
So your described thing... I see that it could obstruct... but you can work on it a little and make it into a healthy superpower - so it is not really that bent in effect. Just potentially if you go to excess - which you care not to (as you say you utilize the strategy of another keeping an eye on you . If you didn't have this you could find another strategy believe me.)
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as far as bends goes. or as far as earlier decisions that cannot be repeated goes
we are kinda bound.
one of my most melancholic observations is of the sexual power of the male
and how as he ages and the hormonal chemical urge becomes less powerful
that often the energetic and mental desire to still penetrate or be a man does not contract at the same speed as the physical cooling down.
leaving him running around with some astral penis whose turgidity is empowered by his own lost energy.. often times such men seem to content themselves with just having an astral penis even though it is woefully unrepresentative of their own physical ability.
the tradgedy is that our world and its corporeal lattice is one of tesselation.
by tesselation i mean like a jigsaw where there is no actual space between pieces.
although habitual pressure between the collective of pieces creates pockets of consensus in perception
which although seeming like external space are simply indicitive of the greater perceptive maladay.
and these external phallus are not unharmful but are part of the damage of the sexual energy of the female.
i.e. male lost sexual energy is like the lost tip of the knife.. the lost tip of the knife is lodged in a wound in the female.
its not so bad i guess with the respectful male because when he dies and his mental and emotional forms decay.. it will contract in the final hour..
still though.. there are moves we made earlier in our lives which cannot be physically repeated.
the major move which cannot be repeated is the first shift of the assemblage point.
intially the assemblage point is stuck and any movement at all is considered a victory.
but we cannot ever become as stuck as we once were.
to do so we would have to recapitulate both our fluid awareness as well as some dense physical core that ran in parralel to our flights.
to dig to a deeper core of ourselves along the time axis.
and jump again with totality.
you should read the section of theun mares work called "the death of the sorcerer"
it explains quite clearly why the sorcerer ends up chasing immpossible parts of his own percieved energy.. until eventually they move from him to the greater energy of the cosmos. what was once a 1000 bits of self on strings.. becomes a 1000 points of the universe tearing him to bits.
ah well..
spazmo contest anyone.?
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