08-22-2017, 12:01 AM
Thank you for saying I have a beautiful heart. I think I do too. I am a very sensitive soul and pour my love into everything I do. I am passionate. Sensitivity is a blessing and a curse. It feels so strong and amazing to love so deeply and yet in the end the pain is unbearable. Highs and lows have been my life. It feels as though I have hope after all in love. I woke up today gloomy and dull. Not really my style. I was and am disheartened with my reality. I am uncertain about many things in my life right now. I pray the answers will find me. I am searching.
I spent a long time freeing people and helping people. It was, I assumed, my destiny. When I had my near death experience it took me to a place of extreme power. I got there from having a pure heart that wanted to help people. I prayed to God to help people and to have the power to be able to do so. Turns out God answered my prayers and gave me a wondrous life full of power and lessons. I did many great things for my people. I still do them to this day. There is no problem I can not solve. I can do it with style too. My way.
Anyways it turns out I lost love in people. All the great thigns I did for people went unnoticed. There was no help for me when I needed it. No one was there for me at my lows. SUre I had friends there when I was up and able to be a star but when the going got tough not a single one was there for me. Pity I know. But still I lost a lot of love for people. I judge their hearts now as shallow. I want that view to change. I dont know if I can put my heart into loving people and helping people who do not earn that love. Perhaps I am the one that is shallow? I suppose the joy of healing a life about to die so they can spend time with their children in health and in love is worth it even if I get nothing in return right? Making someone's life better is a reward in itself. I can love myself all the more. Be proud of who I am and not ashamed for seeking somethign in return.
I do feel ashamed with my life too. Like I said ups and downs. I didnt handle myself with dignity when I made commands to spread girls legs and control their hearts. I didnt act with honour at all. I made many mistakes in my life and so I guess th ebalance is there. I have a karmic debt for the wrongs I have committed and I hope to pay them off soon. I dont want to suffer in the next life, or in this one. People see me here, they often know who I am and my life story. I dont want to be embarrassed to show my face around town. I too have built cities full of my own people and once they all loved and celebrated my name. I want that again. I suppose I will have to again earn it.
Anyways all I seem to do is rant and ramble. So I will cut this short for now. Its been a pleasure chatting with you. You helped me and that is wonderful in my life right now. You are very collected. I appreciate your friendship very much. Thanks.
I spent a long time freeing people and helping people. It was, I assumed, my destiny. When I had my near death experience it took me to a place of extreme power. I got there from having a pure heart that wanted to help people. I prayed to God to help people and to have the power to be able to do so. Turns out God answered my prayers and gave me a wondrous life full of power and lessons. I did many great things for my people. I still do them to this day. There is no problem I can not solve. I can do it with style too. My way.
Anyways it turns out I lost love in people. All the great thigns I did for people went unnoticed. There was no help for me when I needed it. No one was there for me at my lows. SUre I had friends there when I was up and able to be a star but when the going got tough not a single one was there for me. Pity I know. But still I lost a lot of love for people. I judge their hearts now as shallow. I want that view to change. I dont know if I can put my heart into loving people and helping people who do not earn that love. Perhaps I am the one that is shallow? I suppose the joy of healing a life about to die so they can spend time with their children in health and in love is worth it even if I get nothing in return right? Making someone's life better is a reward in itself. I can love myself all the more. Be proud of who I am and not ashamed for seeking somethign in return.
I do feel ashamed with my life too. Like I said ups and downs. I didnt handle myself with dignity when I made commands to spread girls legs and control their hearts. I didnt act with honour at all. I made many mistakes in my life and so I guess th ebalance is there. I have a karmic debt for the wrongs I have committed and I hope to pay them off soon. I dont want to suffer in the next life, or in this one. People see me here, they often know who I am and my life story. I dont want to be embarrassed to show my face around town. I too have built cities full of my own people and once they all loved and celebrated my name. I want that again. I suppose I will have to again earn it.
Anyways all I seem to do is rant and ramble. So I will cut this short for now. Its been a pleasure chatting with you. You helped me and that is wonderful in my life right now. You are very collected. I appreciate your friendship very much. Thanks.