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Well I can fit in anywhere, but choose not to. I force my way in the world though, make it reflect me with my projections.. I am leaving the world again though, and soon. Actually heading out into the miles upon miles of woodland we have, and am going to learn the way of the Ranger. On my own isolated completely from any form of society. NOt shame tho, want. My magic is strongest when I get away form all the people of the world. I imagine I wont be able to come back after some time alone. and that is what I desire. To slip away with only my allies.
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I have been pissed on plenty too billy. By women and men alike, but in the end I am alone, and do not give in to their demands, in any way shape or form. I a a genius, strong, and beautiful and when someone pisses on me it does not wound anymore. I know myself, and myself is all I need, and yet I have plenty of wman who want me. I can have ny woman I desire and do.. Yet there has been no shortage of embarrassment and cruelty form the world either. Torment and mean spirited people. I have rage inside against these types, and have often hurt them as result. I am reching a point now in my life where I just dont care anymore. Yet I hurt them because they were hurting others and not myself. I am beyond hurt, or being hurt, I am too blessed for that. I need nothing from them, get nothing from them anymore, and expect nothing from them. WHen you play the game they play back, but when you ignore it and suspend the game they fall away, like it was never even real.
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I make my own rules and my own game these days...
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Nah, I am bored of fighting....
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People seek agreement, and when they do it is their need. I do not agree with them, very rarely, unless they are a mirror for me. But often there has been hidden agendas inside of their reflections.. needs and desperations. THAT is why I am leaving the world forever. Freedom.
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I know you appreciate what a freak show it all is. You know its newness. The persons (laughing) I project in the world, just take it all for granted. They can't even PRETEND to marvel-- You know serloco--I don't even have to pretend that. Yeah, I return your mush. It is good for you.
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No matter how obscure--and it will be obscure and far off where you go, trust.
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It (trust) will be hidden well--it is there (trust).
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I do have trust, and thank you.. It has kept me alive through my battles.. I have grat faith and trust in the unknown infinity. It has always had my back. I imagine that yes I will go faaar off the grid and into a different reality.. I can already surround myself with void to the point of even having cars veer of the road nd in flames if i want. I did that before. But the void i conjure has nothigness in it, and can materialize the contnts of my attention.. so i do not know yet wht i will conjure, or find in my journey nd this is good. no one will be able to follow unless i say.
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For when you return serloco: [url= The PERFECT tease.
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I love Alanis, Did you hear her song Guardian? Uninvited is good, but it comes form another era for me.. I can get under anyone's skin, or rather inside of them.. Like being a nagual I can move them into the positions I want them to be in..
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Like Dr. Xavier I can get inside of them and make them say what I want.. Like the video ''Diane Young" shows clearly....
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Serloco, "You're not allowed, you're uninvited." I ruined my 'melancholic serenade' by adding the word 'tease.' Be honest, didn't I ruin it (lol)? Though, your response of 'Guardian' was poetic beauty.
I'll have to to start sharpening my imagination's tongue. I NEVER listen to music. Rusted Root was a period of anomoly of spirit. I was amazed when I got a little hooked on Phildel. I'm repeating someone else's thought, who said, "Phildel gives your soul a boner." I'll say it conversely, "Phildel sodomizes the hole that was my soul" She has balls and a huge clit. Your TASTES are impeccable.
I am learning. What you give me is no longer from a stranger, excepting only I am a stranger to myself.
It is quite clear I am a mirror for you TOO.
I have tranformed my marital bed and made my wife pliable and responsive (also physically, she squirts beautifully). However, I realize from one of your earlier dialogues that I am playing more on lusts. I know now to carefully, artfully cultivate love. I am going there to violate God, Demon, morality, my wife, and self.
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Yes I can attract the most beautiful women straight to me and often have them eating right out of my hand... yummies indeed, and yet i need not a one of them and make my own way regardless of their support... maybe that s why i attract them? I have many allies hat are famous. the srongest contacts and supports you could dream of, and in my life am dating 5 people right now.. all of them are intuitives, seeress' and woman of power.. one of them is a hider and denies the wolf spirit, like Dracula who uses the wolves to his bidding.. but i have been breaking her down and she is coming around to MY game plans.. she even called me a werewolf the other night.. hehehe
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Here is a picture of a lovely young seeress and prohpet I have just discovered.. Found her stalking me and my latest relationship with another girl, and then she popped up and proves to me her seer abilities.. Quite lovely she is too.. Knows the right things to say and how to get those energies into her field.. I like having a lot to offer the ladies..
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My gawd they are catering to me again!!! My allies from porn and superstars are making their forms into my reality now, and so the girls I find in my life look soooo close to replicas of my most sexiest women in creation... Oh why me!!?? WHY!!!! I feel like I should take them all and make them into Goddess and yet they form from my dreams already into the perfect forms and so Goddess' they already are as they can be anything.. WHo wouldn't want that?? Personal?? I think so, very personal indeed... Indulgence?? Sure, why the Hell not!?
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That very last post evokes a want of my tears--I could feel your expression.
Since college era, besides a few exceptions, I have not had cd's, listened to music channels (not even in a car), or read books. I just realized, the mediums I allowed in life were only those that spoke directly to my awareness personally. YET, I listened to every single word of my two (now 3) teachers. I typically read a sentence or two from book sources, and when I read more, I tailor the interpretations. Rusted Root (music) was a freak happening for over a year, and its synchronicity was spot on. My 2nd teacher appeared immediately.
We obtained a yearling racehorse which we named Rusted Root. One day Rusted Root got rambuctious and fucked the top of my hand up pinning it to a rough pine post. For many days, if I forgot and put that hand in my pocket I would receive a painful jolt from the raw nerves. This reception of pain was also incredibly ecstatic because its source was Rusted Root. (I so wanted for the pain, but only got the exquisite rush if spontaneous.)
Most of the art, music, words, gestures, and stories you mean for me turn me on. The guy who is walking funny and spastic was hilarious to me. I thought to be circumspect, but I am past that. I simply trust myself how to approach the unknown.
The magic of ...... loving ego and having detachment ....... Guided ego= spirit _______________________________________________________________________________ intent Illusion NOT!
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I am the best demon I ever knew billy, and the best angel I ever knew as well. I cured any and all illness almost so far, and cast the worst **** ont the evil fuckfaces who hurt inocent people.. I conquered Hell and even Killed and resurrected Satan in my world.. I can raise hell and cast peope into it, and I can serve mankind and humbly serve God, and do so.. I have th love and wrath of God both in me and was named Kerubiel by God Himself.. I am many things too, not just heavens and hells, but merely one gran of sand that can shift into other grains of sand.. I am nothing really and yet the greatest person I have ever dreamt to be. I can bless and curse and I do so freely. When Satan came to me the first time casting fire I turned to God and he taught me a better flame, and then I befriended Satan and when he turned on me again I killed him and cast hi into oblivion.. then when the demons ran free I became Satan and cast them ito my own Hell. Then when I wantd to be free of the demons I resurrected Satan and made Him better and stronger and cast the all into his place.. I just laugh at creation and it is so glorious our gift of choice and life.. I wonder sometimes what the *** is going on..! and yet I have trust and faith.. I can and do miracles almost every day..
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{... not incomprehensible to me...} & ......
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lol using my tricks are ya.. i know you can see through the silence.. unless i throw up some clouds... some division.. you like math?
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Thank you for writing it concisely and showing me what you want me to SEE. I am not apprehensive. I can shape your presence as it is entirely befitting to me. You are welcome, unless you are not. Mor is sette's uninvited was apropos. My impression of your girl is "like."
This correspondence surpasses reason. Why anyone would go in circles engaging dialogue with you is beyond me. I SEE whatever, or I don't. I DO whatever, or I DO NOT. Thank you for beginning to give me this clarity. I am a shitty piece of work--really not much. Am I learning okay? I am truly humbled.
Do you like the way billy is both serious and pretentious at once?
I DO love you billy. lol serloco I love you too.
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hahaha, you are fun. yes you learn pretty quickly.. perhaps it is merely myself who is learning and you are merely following me.. or i am uncovering the billy..
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Yes, I like math. There is not 'one' in my perception, nor is there four (many). There is me in infinite loneliness & you (specifying here you/serloco, but really mean the WORLD outside of me). What do you want me to do? Cry?
Don't make me walk funny---OMG I am laughing hysterically. Not to question if you can do that, just--it is too funny. I'm pathetic enough already (lol).
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OMG [color=150%;">YES. You are uncovering me. And, so exquisi
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Lol.. even if you challenged me I wouldn't hurt you.. I rarely hurt people.. that guy was my worst enemy.. and the guy who's memory I hurt was also.. they deserved it.. yes I have hurt many people tho, for small things too, but not so much anymore.. since I got hurt really bad I have been kinder in my curses.. I didn;t say i my post that the fucked up guy was totally screwed up but when i focus onto him as if he was the dancig guy form the song "don't" he actually started to dance in his fuct up way..
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