Casual Conversation

[Billy]

I think you missed my first post this morning because I quoted you.  You will laugh, because I was so so so on the money.  NO, I was not lashing out and I NOW I am proud of myself (smiles).

[Billy]

But of course I am wounded, that is where the constipation started in the first place "my sensation of being wounded"   You mean I can rewrite all sorts of history?  I don't want that stage yet.

But truthfully, I'm good with whatever worldly manifestations including with my daughter.  And by the by, I learned to use nasty things for objective self-deprecation in my heart of hearts. 

My go to is finding symbiosis with and empty broken heart  A BIG SMILE A BIG ONE

[Billy]

Come to think of it, I prefer that my wife would exquisitely hurt me and not the other way.  If we were youger, and where my mind is, I think I would have been a willing cuckold (shaking my head).

[Billy]

I really think if my wife were to have have feelings for, find passion, and be enraptured f***ing another man would just blow my mind.  Torturous. 

Because I have gone to dark places and turned pain to pleasure I certainly have fantasized her dismissing me for an alpha.  I would not want the real deal.

Though, I actually have many characteristics that make me an alpha.  

   It occured to me I'm trying to impress you and I am chuckling because of that.

[Billy]

I ratchet (move) click/space self-awareness=knowledge until it is fluid in nature.  That's not quite right.  Show me again.

[Billy]

billy wrote:ACTIVATE my own.  I SEE your cloud.

[Billy]

I SEE that you have perpetual access to peace.  You are atop a mountain and watch the elements that fall below.  You can be/are the calm in the storm.  I DON'T envy what you have, but I DO SEE it and love it.  It is the living example for me to radiate my own peace, and I am definitely feeling the positive rays from yours. 
    I always have made a point to try not to distinguish between positive or negative energy.  I WILL maintain that disposition as I retain more power.  Energy is energy.  I am Billy.

[serloco]

YOu see my cloud yes, you see into it and through it because that is my state of awaareness. thus I now people can see me, but alas billy boy I ca crete it so noone see through it, and none see me, nor know me, and then i am truly hidden in my cloud... God/eagle/infinity gave me these clothes one day so to hide myself from the eyes that can see.. it moves their awareness directly so i can get away and hide and move them into where they see what i make them see.. i can do it different ways but the best is just intending it and allowing SPirit to do the work for me..

Yes love can hurt, and I can imagine your pain of your wife seeking and banging an Alpha.. I learned at stae long ago in a vampire world where the Alph of reality, which hwas myself, could take any woman and make her mine.. it was almost a hypnosis state fiirst, a parallel reality, but then i found the agreement and power button and found no woman able to resist my command and ability and my Name. That is sad for me and I do not use it.. You should have seen the beings try to take it form me and clai it for themelves.. Hahaha, they are also within my awarenes and so shifted the and they shift, when we fought i made them losers and limp dicks.. they got upset then, and we fought harder, but i just say "you are this or that" and they become it. Sad I know.. I prefer not to fight, and do not steal other peoples woman.. I even learned how to make the male agree, consciously or subconsciosuly, and set up the moment so I can take their wife... very bad billy.. I do not use it anymore.. never.

[serloco]

billy wrote:I ratchet (move) click/space self-awareness=knowledge until it is fluid in nature.  That's not quite right.  Show me again. 

 Once you know about fluidity then it becomes knowledge of fluidity.. That is KNOWledge.. You know it and so it is knowledge.. Knowledge is awareness.. self-awareness is just knowing what knowledge you are aware of wthin/about your self, and knowing about the knowledge of yourself and what also what you now of reality. realizing hat your inner self is activating the awareness within you and manifesting it outside of yourself s noth self-awareness and knowledge, so long as you know it and see it to be so. You could have knowledge that says no i am not active nor manifesting and then that would be the active alignment you are pocessing. we possess knowledge or it possesses us. either way some form of knowledge/awareness is actively manifesting, the tric is control it. command it and choose it. just different positions of awareness and perception.

[Billy]

Aside from entertaining one's own perception, what you just said is the reason to shift awareness--to show yourself your control.

[Billy]

I WILL always state as if I am telling something; that is, I am telling myself something.  I will clarify if I am 'teaching' (lol) you.  If I start sounding arrogant you will have to guess (smile).

[Billy]

You WILL correct me if I am ever mistaken--      Pleeeeeease      The Dayton Flyers are doing stupendous with the seven players--some really are looking empty tanked near end.  And teams are trying to put the Flyers in foul trouble.  Being short, the Flyers can't always defend against big guys going to the basket for risk of fouls.

[serloco]

billy wrote:Aside from entertaining one's own perception, what you just said is the reason to shift awareness--to show yourself your control.

 Exactly.

[serloco]

Scout1 just said they can bring me down.. They have no idea.. i have been in realities were EVERY being and ally was against me, and I succeeded despite their every effort to defeat me. now they say they can bring me down and expect me to BELIEVE it, and give them that power. NOT A CHANCE! I am no spring chicken. I told them to go right ahad and try, and you know what will happen? Not a damn thing from them!

[serloco]

billy wrote:You WILL correct me if I am ever mistaken--      Pleeeeeease      The Dayton Flyers are doing stupendous with the seven players--some really are looking empty tanked near end.  And teams are trying to put the Flyers in foul trouble.  Being short, the Flyers can't always defend against big guys going to the basket for risk of fouls.

 Give to them a solution and then watch them do it.. it is yours billy. focus always to the solution, and when you focus on a problem give it to the enemy.

[Billy]

I just realized you are not here, but I felt I was talking to you like you were.  The burning sensation is rare, but I know how to feel my presence as I have done, but more so now.  I have had surplus energy for years now--ever since I recapitulated.  I never meant I could do that-- I was way way too lazy.  But now, once I have an idea I know it can happen because I trust my intent to take over without my interference.

 I saw Gugeyewalker mentioned how masturbation depleted his energy.  I really wanted (not really really) to show him it did not have to be that way-- that he could actually increase it.  Christ, I once masterbated 8 times in an hour a couple years ago-- I was ejaculating fluid with no hard on, but with incredible orgasms that got better one after the other.  I do practice celibacy a few days before Sunday Sex with my wife as a rule.

It is not true you need an increase of blood flow to the penis to orgasm.  I do avoid masturbating if energy is down, otherwise I do not have a drop-off no matter what I do--and that pertains to virtually all facets of my doings.  An exception is to be around humans who have no awareness--that's practically everybody.  Why too I have cut off my sisters.  I told them I might let them take me to a particular place for lunch next summer.

[serloco]

ANything you do not want in your life is untrue.. you can deny anything, any knowledge.. Yes I too realized that sex can be fine for me and did not need to drain dreaming energy but can increase it.. Exactly like you said. You are a sharp one billy, and you listen not to the lies of the snake but folow your own truths, and the positive ways.. love you for that.. I am not there with you now no, and I a spit in many worlds right now.. doing various healing tasks at the moment and fighting a huge evil in many worlds..

not all dimensions of human awareness is garbage.. it depends how you see them,, shift them, they can see too, or not, they are everythig and nothign billy, they are the ally, and yet they are norrmal dumb everyday peope too. they are puppets for the show and who's show is it billy? WHo is the director? Who pulls the strings in your world? In my world I do.

[serloco]

SO that girl who is my favorite... I thought she broke my heart, but turns out she just went away unexpectedly for the night to her family's... She came back and we hit it right off.. Got her so horny for me... She thinks I am amazing, she is a seeress already.. and she knows how to use words... iob?? Well I can shift average people into iobs and so I will just say she is a seeress for now, but she did come 'a teaching too.. I like her a lot.. she gave me good energies too, love.. Feels so wonderful too.. Detachment is right billy, but i am going to attach right on that **** and eat and fuc it all night again and again.. be her sex slave.. she said she will hold me to it too.. not a bad deal really I'd say.. met her on a dating forum.. lives close by, planing on a trip soon... bringing some wine and dine, and some good tunes... will let you now how it goes.. i had an image of who i wanted to find and when i held that image in my stalking attention she popped right up and claimed it.. like a good girl should. yum.

[Billy]

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                                                    Right now you are my word and my world S.  I burn with my own passion, but you are energy.  I am narcissistic.  But there is you.  I absorb you and there is power.  You are generous. You made it my power.

[Billy]

I have had this depth of heart and wonderous loneliness all my life.  I have made loneliness happy and beautiful before knowing you.  I ask you, how are you not embodiment of my duality when only you can reflect its truth.  You make it bold, and stand against ugliness.

[serloco]

Yes I did that for you, and happy you appreciate it too. I give to good people, friendly people.. I saw the Spirit quite clearly when we met and you follow it well.

i stand against evil and uginess indeed. Alwys try to take the positive way, and the truth. The truth is a choice and so why not always take the best choice you can make?

[Billy]

The best choice I can make--yes.  Heavy and dark as the truth, light as a feather you are to me.    A story of power for you:

   I was with a Harvard girl and she was a Masters Theology student.  We smoked a little weed and I drove toward her apartment. We talked solopsism to the core.  A dark and magically consuming power descended, such that only one of us actually existed in the car.  The truth of this left each of us only one question--whose world was it?  In an instant it occured to each that it did not matter, and we talked marriage on this our first outing.  We SAW our perfect synchronicity (which was in this case temporary).  We went back to her apartment, we each took our clothes off and got in her bed, and I fucked her.  She was if an innocent child, her face was pure and far removed from any inhibitions.

   I am able to quit the charade.  No, of course I want nothing to do with you really--my autonomy is tested and matured.  To hold each other would be a sin; this is our mutual knowledge.  Relationships beg acceptance and belonging.  We are immune to that nonsense--and nonsense is a perfect word to describe attachment.  You SEE the best in me because it is true in yourself.  The infinite masks are for others and not for me--Yes, of course you often project them to me without a second thought--yet you are now knowing to SEE I can SEE each and every mask.  This is because I stand against evil and ugliness too.  And what can be uglier than hiding the 'violations,' the 'sins,' the vulgarity?  What can be more evil than identities that are not beautiful in their simplicity though they be hideous?

   The judgment of identity is mistaken as said.  This is why I love my love of worthlessness, emptiness, and negation (and ALL else).  Meaning less. NO!  I give no stature in the first place.  I know my void   SEE now
how you fill it?
   "bring it on motherfucker, bring it on."  Can't you imagine that such a 'challenge' is a pure delight-- but only from you my love, only from you.  No, the others cannot SEE that enemies are benefactors in disguise.  When you gave me Patrick Ness I was scared.  When I gave you pictures on Christmas eve of hearts ripped out you were scared.  Our balance of presence and negation, our balance of manifestation and fate is OUR art.

 
You will show me, because I WILL grow--and I WILL return back to you in ways inconceivable.  Billy WILL do that.  Do you empirically get that S.?

   You showed me I hunt power.  SEE how good that feels?

[Billy]

I AM warm at heart, and as I learn to choose, I Will certainly choose for you to be my ally.  I WILL be a great ally for you also.  I draw to you, and move away effortlessly as you do. 

My void is endless and invulnerable and your manifestation is prolific.

[serloco]

billy wrote: When I gave you pictures on Christmas eve of hearts ripped out you were scared.  

   
 
  I had previously had my heart ripped out of my chest by IOB's. It did scare me because they were present with me trying to rip it out again. But I callmed my fear quickly and regained my power so to not have it reoccur. I was scared yes, but I am alert and ready for action.

[serloco]

billy wrote:
You will show me, because I WILL grow--and I WILL return back to you in ways inconceivable.  Billy WILL do that.  Do you empirically get that S.?

   You showed me I hunt power.  SEE how good that feels?
 

   
 
  Sure I do yes, I completly understand.