The Four Moods of Stalking

[Billy]

You empirically understood exactly what I said and vice versa.  I kill this, but we are the same.  The explanation is we  simply refuse dishonesty in ourselves.   

I never met anyone else like you.

[Billy]

You mentioned about 'telling lies a while back.  Telling lies does not make you dishonest or unaware.  I clarified in my book that I saw no problem with people expressing much ego, it is only a problem to me when they don't have the encompassing awareness around it.

[serloco]

billy wrote:You mentioned about 'telling lies a while back.  Telling lies does not make you dishonest or unaware.  I clarified in my book that I saw no problem with people expressing much ego, it is only a problem to me when they don't have the encompassing awareness around it.
Yes, I understand and you are right. When you are very aware you need not in fact do anything or follow anything, you can be any way you want to be. Like don Juan says about Julian that he could not longer need to be the "impeccable warrior's way" even and could do and act any way he wanted to act..

[serloco]

billy wrote:You mentioned about 'telling lies a while back.  Telling lies does not make you dishonest or unaware.  I clarified in my book that I saw no problem with people expressing much ego, it is only a problem to me when they don't have the encompassing awareness around it.
I agree. I learned in one dimension or position of human awareness that we are all connected and everyone sees. It was for my a largely iob world, however i could not at the time decern the difference anymore. They all being pure awareness could see me clearly and I could not tell a lie, or get away with stealing even, which i did then in abundance. Using my controlled folly i later learned to hide, and disconnect from them, as all i needed was a shift in my awareness which resulted in a different relationship with them. I could never lie until I first had the agreement that even though they saw the lie they agreed to it. It was y initial shift into being aboe to lie. I could not lie once because evryone saw me and knew me intimately, however before i got to that position I could not lie with my words even if i wanted too. The truth would flow out of me and the SPirit would move me in truth always. Later i intended to be able to for the fuc of it, and because the iobs were lying to me and so i wanted to lie to them, as well as be able to trick them, which i am a very perfect tricker i found. All it tes is a judgment directed onto my self and the Spirit moves me to be the best tricker there is. It was quite amazing pulling the wool over the 'greatest' tricker Satan and winning against him. I just judged myself with the life that was better at it them him. We took time tricking each other, and often we fought too, but in the end we loved each other and i judged him as being an Angel of light who also hated evil and punishd it. After all Satan has many names, and so do I.

[serloco]

billy wrote:You empirically understood exactly what I said and vice versa.  I kill this, but we are the same.  The explanation is we  simply refuse dishonesty in ourselves.   

I never met anyone else like you.
I've done it to you many times billy boy. I do it to many in the nagual.. Sometimes i let them see and know it and other times I let them think it is themselves.

[Gugeyewalker]

There is also a relationship between ruthlessness and your ability to get what you want without shame or fear.

If there is an essence of desire - something our intent and will can lock onto, then you need ruthlessness to do it without caring what other people want from you - if you care then its likely self-serving or about self-image.

[Billy]

Gugeyewalker wrote:There is also a relationship between ruthlessness and your ability to get what you want without shame or fear.

If there is an essence of desire - something our intent and will can lock onto, then you need ruthlessness to do it without caring what other people want from you - if you care then its likely self-serving or about self-image.
I confused you ansd S. even perhaps using the words "to be alive in communion rules".  That can be described as  the 'feel' in my example.  But I should have emphasized as I DO NOW--the ruthlessness involved.

I mean the other person in my exampe may cry, lash out, have many mixed emotions.  I am not to be a soft cushion or a sounding board.  OH NO! I hold a sober, cold position to bring my self-control to bear.  Yes the other person will have no outs and may become joyfull that you take responsibility, but that is an irrelevant consequence.  These are the opportunities to shape and firm up your own power.

What do think S. (wink)  Gug's last point was so very true,  especially insightful about caring what other people want being a matter of serving one's self-image, which is not a good thing (unless as intended within the full context of one's  pretense, heh?)

[Billy]

So, connection to others is a good display/reinforcement of one's power concerning patience, cunning and ruthlessnes.  What's the fourth?}  Oh , how sweet, but never foolish.

No harshness or cruelty necesarry. I guess Don Juan was good for something, lol.

[Billy]

"intended within the full context of one's  pretense"

  You have skills in (if not having mastered) everything spoken of.  You are well beyond otherness.  You are right to do or say whatever pleases you.   I am clarifying for you Derekh.

[Billy]

Cross out 'pretense' because that is understood.  Say movement of energy is from your awareness, such where the otherness of duality always allows a pause.  You do not take cues from duality, the pause is for you to take cues always from your own awareness.

The persons with needs or and untowards actions regarding your concerns never matter by external initiatives.  I am the whole of everything and give form.  A real world may even exist apart from me, one i do not give form to.  But that world is mechanical and meaningless.

Julio Juliopolis?  That is what is to be reinforced in meta-cognition!

[Billy]

In a peculiar sense I grant exception for others of awareness, but how few that number is.

[serloco]

Self-image huh? Well i come from the IOB world where self-image can be a very powerful thing.. The position one hold of their body can actually draw great power from the world around you.. FOr example if you hold your body as being a King or creator then you gain much respect and power from and over the world around you.. This is merely self-awareness, the position you are holding of your body.. You can hold any image of yourself that you can muster up and it is projected into the world around you.. If you think of yourself as lowly and unimportant then you are treated exactly as you are. Being pure awareness they see what you think of yourself, the position you hold of your body.. This position can be a matter of great importance.. At least in a world of pure awareness. However this position itself is only one position of a possible many. Self-image can mean nothing also depending on your intent. I prefer to keep all the awareness and tricks I have learned and shift between them. Self-image in other words is a way to move IOB's in the IOB world.

[serloco]

what you know about yourself is the image you project into the world around you... do others see that image? in my world they do and move to it..

[Billy]

serloco wrote:what you know about yourself is the image you project into the world around you... do others see that image? in my world they do and move to it..
    You don't think that I know the 'wedding reception night' was a shift of my attention to demonstrate that to myself empirically?

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serloco: "Self-image can mean nothing also depending on your intent. I prefer to keep all the awareness and tricks I have learned and shift between them. Self-image in other words is a way to move IOB's..."
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billy posted:    "...serving one's self-image, which is not a good thing (unless as intended within the full context of one's  pretense, heh?)  or AWARENESS  {in my book I say how important  having self-image
(which ever you wear) is.  Behind that is the awareness of knowing.  I said how people are vulnerable because they defend an image and reputation.  I am invulnerable defending the same image and reputation.  I'm fucking real. (ALL THE TIME)

[Billy]

A cool story for you about that night.  My wife swears I was not normal in the car driving there.  My daughter and her boyfriend/love were in the back seat. 
 
   I had some drinks of course in the long cocktail hour in this luxuriously, extravagent setting.  Our four was seated with my daughter's favorite aunt/husband & their daughter & son-in-law.
I was having flowing, effusive, engaging conversation all around when Susan began curbing me as she can be controlling.  I brushed her off a little rudely and it snowballed to have me foolishly out of control.
But, I kept my ground anyway.  I went from scenario to scenario, viewed from low esteem to very high esteem.  I was a mirror.  At times the worlds crossed.  For example, I was about to share a mutual passion
with a very prestigious guy, and the niece's husband who had seen me as diminished, tried for a little power play and said EXACT words to turn the table on him.  He was like a dog with tail beteween his legs and hardly said another word as I conversed for twenty minutes.  When he did once, the guy I was speaking with practically ignored him. 
  Then a brother-in-law who had always postured a bit superior, joined.  The guy was his son-in-law.  I was still in conversation, but finished shortly on a high note ready to leave the table.  My brother-in-law wanted to retain me, and I left him looking embarrassed of his own accord. 
   My daughter/boyfriend and wife in triangle were on the dance floor.  I joined to cue my daughter to dance with me, which she refused.  I walked straight away (purely my theatrics) insulted and huffy.  My daughter came after (which in itself was amazing) and we had a full blown affair in an area full of staff,  (wife and daughter's boyfriend were there, but thirty feet at bay)  My daughter and I were spectacularily alone in OUR world.
My daughter cried and cried giving me her detestation.   Went on fifteen minutes.  I only kept smiling and chuckling under my breathe though this was an extremely intense mingling of hearts.  (She finally just gave me a hug rather hysterically (she had not done this since ten years old).  In that hug Derekh, you just cannot imagine the imprint.  Yes, it contained a connection that was eternal.

  Time has passed, and after her initial defenses, I SEE the slow melting away.  Took 15 years for that to start happening. 

    You know, when I caught Susan unexpectedly with divorce papers for an attorney to review less than two years ago--(THIS WAS REAL)  I told you how the rejection shocked my system, but that I did powerful detachment to acquiesce.  Amazing how the dynamics turned abruptly.   Susan did not know what happened, and she actually dragged me to a courthouse and she(we) filed for dissolution.  (LEGAL is SERIOUS).
I knew it was too late.  She had her chance earlier the first time.  I held ALL the power now.  We really are deeply in love as those things go.  I have made her happy since, and the matters for which I chose extended controlled anger got completely resolved.  I am ecstatic--living in heaven.  Then came you Derekh.
   I knew I was on an upward path (awareness) long ago.  The general  increase of energy is just stupendous beginning about three years ago when I achieved recapitulation through writing about my life experience and my own enlightenment.  There is noticeable excelleration at this time.  You just flat out me away, and yet no matter, I stay well enough within myself.   OMG Thank you Derekh for opening ALL.

    You have a friend.  It is my nature now to be well grounded.  When you go out as you speak of doing, know that you can always return to this point of your attention and I will help you any way I can.   This is my intent.

[Billy]

Clarify a few things.  Susan took me to courthouse a month after having papers in hand.   We filed a motion to dismiss before the court date.  While happening I had no concern, and the sex in the midst of filed dissolution papers was heightened.

Also at the table of wedding reception I told my daughter's aunt (my older sister) to *** off.  She is white bread, priviledged elite.  We 'conversed' and boy did I hit her spot (having to do with her 'sexually impotent marriage' which I discerned by instinct.)  Ha, ha--too cruel.

Lastly, the precursor to my married state being heaven now:   When EVERYTHING was a nightmare by any conventional measurement, I had succeeded in transcending conditionality-- I was finding many moments of ecstacy in the 'pain.'  Throughout, I lived my words of philosophy to the max.

[serloco]

I am glad i have a good influence on your life billy. I appreciate the connection and that you see so well and are honest about what you see.. not all beings are this way which is why i offer you energy, power, and lessons in the nagual.. a friend you are indeed to me and thank you for your sustaining offer.. I like to hear about your life too.. glad you have joy in regards to your daughter, i can feel it, and that is quite nice..

my business is picing up and doing well.. i am looking at 4000 in two months, and then investing back into it so to double in the next 3 months.. then double again.. and so on.. it looks pretty well for me...

[Billy]

Whatever you do, I will make a point as I am doing now to intend for you.  Really.  The least I can do.

[serloco]

Yeah I am small time right now but know how to flip cash really well.. Went to school for my business and was always one step ahead there and on the streets.. Cover of darkness I use well at the moment. Thanks for the intent, send me clients if you will.. fresh outa the void.. I can manage but help is always welcome and thanks.. My streets of full of people who know billy, and know my game tricks too, my spells. I asked one person where to find something and saw his attention conjure down the street someone to help me, although they couldnt they cast someone who could.. Saw it clearly too, one of my spells I gave to my peeps and so they used it to help me.. My awareness IS. Feel free to do the same billy, for you and your peeps..

[serloco]

I sent in for an order of some equipment i needed, i wanted two of them but had to wait for the flow.. ended up they made a mistake and sent me two.. so looks like I just doubled my profit margin..

[Billy]

Feels so right. (to help you)  Everything feels right.  No not really THAT.  EVERYTHING is right, so help me GOD.

[serloco]

“This life is for loving, sharing, learning, smiling, caring, forgiving, laughing, hugging, helping, dancing, wondering, healing, and even more loving. I choose to live life this way. I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, 'aw ****, he's up!”

― Steve Maraboli

[serloco]

“My mother said the cure for thinking too much about yourself was helping somebody who was worse off than you.”

― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

[serloco]

“In the land where excellence is commended, not envied, where weakness is aided, not mocked, there is no question as to how its inhabitants are all superhuman.”

~ Criss Jami, Venus in Arms

[serloco]

For billy..

“I love to connecting with people to help others who's exactly like you.... When I asked for help, no one is there except me. "Helping yourself is a great help you ever get it from anyone".”

― Sivaprakash Sidhu