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Courting like a dangerous doppleganger, huh? That was profoundly simple. "Have to....... ... have to have a friend like you.. "be a friend and be an enemy for real/lol".
Also, your added piece of healing on the bus, reminded me of recent thoughts I have been having, that I knew if I needed help with healing I would only need to ask you.
AlessoI might be anyone
A lone fool out in the sun
Your heartbeat of solid gold
I love you, you'll never knowWhen the daylight comes you feel so cold,
You know
I'm too afraid of my heart to let you goWaiting for the fire to light
Feeling like we could do right
Be the one that makes tonight
'Cause freedom is a lonely road
We're under controlWe're under controlI might be anyone
A lone fool out in the sun
Your heartbeat of solid gold
I love you, you'll never knowWhen the daylight comes you feel so cold,
You know
I'm too afraid of my heart to let you goWaiting for the fire to light
Feeling like we could do right
Be the one that makes tonight
'Cause freedom is a lonely road
We're under controlWaiting for the fire to light
Feeling like we could do right
Be the…
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"Have to....... ... have to have a friend like you.. "be a friend and be an enemy for real/lol".
Also, your added piece of healing on the bus, reminded me of recent thoughts I have been having, that I knew if I needed help with healing I would only need to ask you.
AlessoI might be anyone
A lone fool out in the sun
Your heartbeat of solid gold
I love you, you'll never knowWhen the daylight comes you feel so cold,
You know
I'm too afraid of my heart to let you goWaiting for the fire to light
Feeling like we could do right
Be the one that makes tonight
'Cause freedom is a lonely road
We're under controlWe're under controlI might be anyone
A lone fool out in the sun
Your heartbeat of solid gold
I love you, you'll never knowWhen the daylight comes you feel so cold,
You know
I'm too afraid of my heart to let you goWaiting for the fire to light
Feeling like we could do right
Be the one that makes tonight
'Cause freedom is a lonely road
We're under controlWaiting for the fire to light
Feeling like we could do right
Be the…
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Threads: 0
Joined: Feb 2019
The breadth of life, especially if given to spontaneous interaction (as for example a holiday with relatives) can leave a person hollow and without self-confidence. Lack of vital energy and recessive states are part of being. Yet, no matter what 'undesirable' demeanor, you need to see the opportunity of moving through, with, or/and around unwanted suchness by first stopping (if only for a nano second) to SEE yourself there. Then the power of DETACHMENT cures all.
You say, "I have real feelings because this or that happens; detachment only goes so far." Detachment goes VERY far. I recently 'did' a reactive 'hurt' resentment and self-reflection of, "I have feelings too." The moment I heard that mind tape, I laughed and vociferously rejected THAT thought. OMG! No, i don't have feelings! (playful truth of understanding spontaneous or self-entertaining indulgence in feelings is a choice).
Look, I'm a lover. I DO have real feelings, but more and more the emotions are born out of freedom/authenticity. {see serloco's thread in MASTERING AWARENESS called power}
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Are you even real billy? Where are you out there, in here, what is time? I mean it, what is time billy?
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Rational answer to "what is time?" = Perception.
Of course, "what is perception, and so on?"
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(smile) I humbly defer to the derek/billy that blossoms wonderously. {how do you like me now?!}
just for ya (gonnna erase shortly)
Want to acknowledge the regulars here too with my thanks... Silverwind, Kaomea, Mornings Son, Senear, Julio Juliopolis, Delawaredan, Watergaze, transitions, glance left..
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(smile) I humbly defer to the derek/billy that blossoms wonderously. {how do you like me now?!}
just for ya (gonnna erase shortly)
Want to acknowledge the regulars here too with my thanks... Silverwind, Kaomea, Mornings Son, Senear, Julio Juliopolis, Delawaredan, Watergaze, transitions, glance left..
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but is there a real time? one true perception of it? I seek the concrete knowledge of what time is and not just my shifting and amazing perceptions of it. I seek the knowledge of what time is and how it does. Perhaps I already know.. But to what ends.. Not just perception is time but what is YOUR perception of time?
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RIGHT NOW! Gratitude to you (I will do more with that question later) I mentioned earlier in some post (probably erased it after I figured you would see it in time.).. I mentioned you would help with healing if I asked. I knew I did not have to ask--only intend for you to know-- and you would heal my wife's dental pain. I told her you fixed it, and she said thank you. There was no smart assness in her thanks; it was sincere {people, if you only knew what an aberration from my wife}.
I thank you also.
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I have a HUGE EMPIRICAL KNOWLEDGE of time; THAT I DO have. will continue....
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Time is the empty dark box (allegory) I am intimate with; it is within the meaningless existential voided 'vista.' I had asked the existential questions about time in that box as a little boy in lurid, sensational dreams. "Who or what am I?" was NEVER a relevant question (though I had plied it there in a quick process of reduction). The poignant question immediately clarified itself > THAT I AM.. WHY??
That question was ALWAYS answered with a certitude I cannot even possibly question.
I am absolutely certain I am in an impotent, meaningless void.
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talk to me anytime; and ask me anything-- I really do love you
AND > don't even doubt how important you are to me
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(for now)
hmmm {where did I learn that?
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As for experiential bookends-- I had the glimpse into eternal damnation AND into eternal bliss. Those are done. Don't want to touch either again.
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I am well within myself. You can help me fly; I can help you have grounding.
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When I spoke of helping with grounding ,it was not about earthy burial. I am well aware of your recent struggles, and I am veritably connected.
'veritably' is another word for you to look up. Do that. Eat. Piss. Simple choices.
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I understand the pain. It is near impossible to move even one foot in front of the other (for now).
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Anyway, I sent out something last Monday, so check your mailbox these next few days.
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Thanks billy. sighs. pivks up head and thinks better things will come. i need to get outta this town. one more month left i think here, then its off to another happier city for me. trully i have been more healthy then usual and getting back some power but i have been hovering in mundania and feeling low and weak.. the sick man made me feel worse too. that and whenever i say or think about healing people they send in sick people like they are manufacturing their sick forms and it makes me hate them instead ofloving them. when does the desire to heal create sick people? sick fuckers. i was to heal only if i need to heal someone if there is honestly someone who needs healing. i dont want to heal people for my sick pleasure. i hate this world sometimes. but i was sad and felt alone tonight and i said you know what if people loved me they would show me some love and then a catr drive by and people hollered out at me lovingly and waved at me and sent me nice energy and smiles. and so it was a lil warmth in the cold. feels nicer. i wish i coulod go back in time and change things. i wish i never learned about iobs and arftificial like life forms. fake life. acts and plays. i am tired of the lies billy and the games and the shams. and the judgments and tyhe moving iobs and humans. moving and having to move things.. i am so tired of telling people what to be and how to be and how to act and why to act and what to feel and when to feel and why etc and i just wish people couold be normal and just love naturally.
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