billy's basic detachment practice

[Billy]

muhaahaahaha.  I did not tell you how I SEE that I can use power for vengeful purposes.  I understand how that want 'necessarily' arises.  You know of all these things already.

I am very loose, and tight enough in the right way.

[Billy]

Don't go away.

[Billy]

[serloco]

You are a bad man billy... sometimes, but i ask you to take in heart, your love and forgiveness as well.. for even though you may 'flip' a moment into your friend and/or enemy, you can also flip the world with love and forgiveness.. forgiveness is a powerful ally. Thanks for the Phildel songs..

One of my allies picked me up and sang to me some power songs and love songs.. So beautiful, said she would die for me. I would never let her die though... That's the thing, I have so many allies who would fght by my side through hell, and through demons and monsters and many who would die for me... sure does make a boy feel special.. thing is I have the power of resurrection on both human and ally.

[Billy]

serloco says    I am in great sorrow and i dont like it.. cold here. brrrr

I wonder if humble gratitude can be part of that experience.  What'cha-saytothat?  I'm askin' and not promoting.

I'm truthful and kind .. and everything else besides..........    ...

I think I make a nice mirror for ya

[serloco]

humble gratitude? I have been having this lately... been befriending many iobs... loving them and working with them.. i often work on my own and not use my allies for much, but lately have ben relying on them somewhat... they help me in great ways.. God too.. humble for sure..

[Billy]

I say the three persons of awareness in my life were mirrors, but you are also an excellent teacher.

[Billy]

So what did serloco teach that stands out? 
   Before I answer, I'll provide general context. 
You get on one of these 'spiritual' paths, and are 'taught' ...  Yet, all of the self-reflection concerns you regardless of the learning or unlearning.
 
So, I am on this path where I do whatever I do, and all the self-reflections are narrowly confined to reshaping the self-reflective view.  I am experiencing 'who I am' all my life in confinement. 

Being that the 'who I am' experience is basically staged in self-reflection, it has been only minimally effective in worldly manifestations.  That is, my growing knowledge did not connect dynamically to the surrounding world. 

   Given that I am fond of my isolation and privacy, this was bound to remain unchanged.  Now, I am still 'terribly' fond of my isolation {as I should be}, but serloco showed me how to have the same ALONENESS that expansively accounts for everything.  He showed me that moving outward was not contradictory, that the fluid manifestations concerning a world would enhance my wholeness (whether that be in darkness or in light, whether ALONE in separation or in the sense of universal unity)
  I have begun to SEE my wholeness become dynamic in all that exists, and understand that limitations are malleable. 



   So all of a sudden, after many decades of non-effective (worldly) comportment, I am actualizing self-knowledge concretely in my surrounding world.  {astounding, seriously}

   The mechanics of my 'spiritual' path (detachment) are ingrained, such that as I am effective interacting with my world, I am not liable to be overly sticky with it.  I SEE what I SEE.  I EAT (consume) what I SEE -Alice in Wonderland.  I am not EATEN (consumed) by the worldliness, and I am immune to its poison.


    Clause:  The adventures get curiouser and curiouser.

[Billy]

My first mentor, 'accused' that "I stole like a thief."  I took what I learned and made it my own.  There are two parts to this I'll mention: 

First, I have a built in certitude that no rope ties me to the source of learning.  Knowledge gained is mine alone; it cannot be reclaimed.  The point of knowledge is freedom. 

Second, knowledge without certitude that it is WHOLLY your own (not fully integrated) is not knowledge.

[serloco]

I wouldnt take anything back unless I had to.. I rarely have to do this anymore.. but sometimes i have with allies that turned enemies. I keep too, but I also keep my take backs billy boy... be good..

[serloco]

you know how scary i can be.... mua ha ha ha!!

[Billy]

How perfectly you synchronized with what I came here to post next:

I was to say whatever craziness, doubts, pain, tragedy, etc., does not negate the certitude I have of my wholeness.  Sooooo, those manifestations do not hold me.  They are my ill-begotten 'possessions.'

LOL  Are you one of my ill-begotten 'possessions'?    OMG  Yes, YOU ARE SCARY! 

Laughing

I was also to add (apart from the childishness), that serloco and I can bring to each other emanations.  I would not have talked about such abstractions a couple years ago.

[serloco]

Do you want to learn about possession more, me billy boy? Or have you had enough?

[Billy]

Yes, I want to learn.  No, I have not had enough.

"First trip anywhere"

[Billy]

I was wondering, are you a pimp or a sorcerer?

[Billy]

What's with the stupid question?

[Billy]

If it makes you feel better, I liked the stalking songs in Art of Stalking. 




The night is my companion-and solitude my guide

nice

[Billy]

If it makes you feel better, I liked the stalking songs in Art of Stalking. 




The night is my companion-and solitude my guide


very very nice

[Billy]

I'm going to have some good wine now.  After a while I'm deleting all the banter that hints of duality in derek/billy.  Yes, of course I want to learn.

I had to refrain from using a choice descriptor there.

(smiling/SMH)

[serloco]

enjoy your wine billy... rmember the oment before you drink the taste is all in your mind, and expectation, you can simply name your wines flavor.. think on it..

[serloco]

oh and pimp is one of my positions, however i have not used it in awhile.. not fully.. just teasers.. it gets them moving for me though... i love them.. they take care of me as i them.. if they need me.. what can i say, i have often filled them up with dreams and power.. giving them abilities... when i call the they come to my aid and can do great magics for me. they offer me marriage, sex, dreams and eternity.. my ally girls.. sweetness.. but on the other hand God has asked me to not lust.. so i don't know.. he has also asked me to put away all negative sorcery.. like possession.. domination, control, force, threats and fighting.. war and forced judgements.. many of my bizarre second attentions...

[Billy]

The night is my companion-and solitude my guide

   There is this creature deep, deep on the ocean bottom whose survival defense is that it tastes so vile that any creature that begins swallowing it, reactively spits out.  I have learned that the very worst properties I 'possess' are most beloved to me.  No one can have me; I do not want to be had.  If this excludes a life where a world and creature can be loved in some capacity others only know, I don't care.  I love myself, and especially my darkness, as best I know how.

[Billy]

{right now} Someone (some) on this forum please post question(s) here (even you s).  I am virtually oozing out a sense of my being that I'd like to share at this time; this is because there is a confluence of ideas and events coming full circle.. directly related to my initial sorcery experience that involved my mother's funeral a couple years ago.  I feel want of being expressive at the existential root.  I do not know where to start without expression in words being broad and wordy.  I am confident whatever question(s) will beget amusing, earthy insight for myself as well, which is as much a part of why I make the request as for any other reason.  Still, I promise to be sanely or insanely creative and entertaining.  Hopefully, the question is one that is earnest.  However, any will suffice.  Question or no, most any comment is welcomed too.

This post along with others may be erased later on.

[Billy]

The auras of death, sorcery, and deeper existential awareness are definitely factors in my request.  I don't want to leave out PLAYFULNESS.  PLAY.. it's what I do.

If you would want to add personal context as a backdrop to your question, that would be good.

One insight that I have immediately recognized already >  self-pity comes to play too  > I SEE it here in myself  > AND, I recognize this gives me the option of powerful detachment or indulgence of wallowing in self-pity.  I LIKE the feel of wallowing in self-pity.  I'm not sure I'd recommend that.. self-pity is very attractive and can hold you with a vice grip.

I SEE serloco likes to indulge self-pity as part of his repertoire.  LAUGH  {Yes, I know that}

[Billy]

I described my first intimacy with the peace of emptiness prior; that peace was surrounded by wildly fluctuating emotions of all sorts, such that the only sensible thing was to sink into the accessible underlying quiet.  I feel myself very close to the source of emptiness now.  I am not talking of mysticism here.  I am a very 'normal' person.  What I mean to describe is the extension of those wildly fluctuating and varied emotions that are becoming tame even as they are rampant.
   I automatically recognize any self-reflective interpretation of words and worldly stimuli as being contantly in flux, and I may choose (or allow) whatever number of infinite shades of meaning to momentarily prevail.  So for example, if you were to tell me I was an ****, I would recognize that the comment took on all the possible sentiments..  you are being derisive, you are being funny, you are being chummy, you are being hostile, you are being camp, you are being truthful, you are being mean, you are being ignorant, you are being insecure, and a gazillion mixtures of these.  AND THEN, even choosing that one's words are meant as one over others, there are the gazillion responses and their mixtures I may bring into the equation.  I am hurt, I am laughing, I am confused, I am angry, I am wary, I am game, I am humbled, I am stout, etc.  Being self-reflective (as I am/lol) I would surely go insane seeing all these possibilities arise in real time.  Excepting, I DO SEE all these possibilities arising; and, because I do so, I am forced to move from the meaning of words, worldly stimuli, and events, etc. into my quietude/my emptiness.  I then SEE (I mean really SEE) that I can attribute whatever feelings, responses, degrees of import, and so on freely/genuinely/authentically as I care to do so > which is the definition of controlled folly.  I get hurt, I get serious (for real), but know it is not real.  I PLAY any parts of the play; I sometimes get temporarily lost in parts; but I always get back to the source. 

    Oh yes, if I accentuate this ability (as serloco often does), the sometimes daunting aspect of this meaningless charade dawns.  I believe I happen to like that aspect of existential 'despair' much more than serloco.  I think it makes him jealous (I am laughing heartily).

   Any way, when death comes around me, it tells me the things I allude to here.  Death is becoming a very close friend.  AND this brings me to a point I'd like to make:
  Persons use death incorrectly.  They leverage the idea of looming death as some sort of juxtaposition to feel more alive, but that only empowers death over the persons.  All that exists needs to be penetrated by want of seeing (for lack of better words) the TRUTH.  Persons use death to spawn illusions that life has meaning, or at least put off knowing the profound opposite.

    I will tell you with stupendous certainty that life has no meaning, and that the failure to meet the responsibility of coming face to face with the meaninglessness void {emptiness} prevents persons from knowing death as (form of) enlightenment/wholeness. 


   Wholeness can create meaning also, but not without inclusion of the futility which is part of it.


    Is this painful?

   No, certainly not as much as before embracing emptiness.