billy's basic detachment practice

[Billy]

Mornings Son
What is wrong with it being about billy?
(billy is hardly anybody any more, right?)


I wrote this four years ago:

(IN REASON) You trust yourself, and hold to the clarity of the qualitative state that is
wholeness--Sense of BEING YOUR WORLD/feeling/body. Really, the body at times of
this awareness has a perceptible radiance. Everything else is nought, and you are alive.
Even moments of ego activity has the quality of presence. My writing is almost ALL
ego. Ego is good in the capacity of SELF understood. Ego is PLAY. You trust to use ego
freely, because you ARE free.

All the rich image billies adfintum are integrated into a whole-
billy is somebody.. LAUGH

[Billy]

(smile) I understood what you meant

[serloco]

you know there comes a point where no words are needed and pure understanding is met.. you can see the awareness present and choose to be seen completely.. here words are not needed but I still find the process of speaking enjoyable. Words carry our understanding, the value of our awareness, but seeing is knowing directly.. i often see people seeing me, and they see through my words, before i even speak them.. a connection.. this, my seeing, is visual, and I can see their thoughts and awareness printed onto their projections... Like visual body communication, and also at times I can see their thoughts with my attention, in my attention. Telepathy.

[Billy]

(my tone here is matter-of-fact)      My last post in Art of Stalking/sorcery experiences is exactly on that point.  I almost started, "Words, or without words.."  For my part, substitute intent for telepathy.   I probably prefer not to speak much about my intent, but (you) know that I have clarity that it is a full commitment to my best interests.  I have the maturity to travel the eternal path bestowed.

[Billy]

to be erased shortly; Words, or without words my self trust includes {IS} our boundless bond to share spirit.

[Billy]

Words, or without words my self trust includes {IS} our boundless bond to share spirit.

[Billy]

Lately my self-reflections go to every corner, every shade, and every juxtaposition of other self-reflections.  It would make a 'normal' person insane.  Today I was indulging my concern as to this condition.  And this also pertained to the tone, content, and spirit of writing here (and whether or not to write at all).

So, I did a self-remedial on billy's basic detachment practice. {always the basics!}

"REASON starts by having this idea of detachment, and paying attention to body,
feeling, and worldly manifestation as one entity.

   HOW I detach: I recognize my self-import, my own heaviness. I notice constricted
breathing, any pangs of body, or operative descriptions such as "I deserve better."

This attention is reason's handle on the controls. REASON knows it is better to move from
resentments to a more impersonal self, and does. Immediately there is a serene sense
of richer, more powerful being.

    (At first) REASON needs to identify the state of perception, and reduce it. The feelings
and associative thoughts are brought to explicit clarity, then objectified in a word, for
example 'hatred,' 'jealousy,' 'fear,' etc.

    REASON says, "Yes." {I know what this is. (Because, it does)}           >  here it was 'concern indulgence'

   REASON takes hold of the emotion to be absorbed into the whole of consciousness.  Reason reclaims power.   



    I detached just as described    ..I laughed immediately as to my useless attachment, and had unmitigated clarity

[Billy]

Whatever I do, I had better straighten up and get my act together.. (smiling).

[serloco]

hey billy, i have to say i like your talking and your thread. you have good knowledge ad it shows the billy/derek connection.. spew forth my man.. bring on the goods.. i will heed to your lessons.. see the energy, feel the flow, show and tell baby.. show and tell..

[Billy]

I am obtaining to that 'feeling' imagery associated with the 'dead of winter' > a perception of the subdued pace of life where my mood is correspondingly dormant.  I try to ride this feel into a dull self-pity to indulge.  Self-pity, as an aware, unrestrained indulgence is a favorite toy of mine.  {It is recapitulation of a sense of separation made savory.}

   The world in this 'dead of winter' does not impinge; I do not feel very alive.  I like this; it is exquisite.

I was indulging that (until writing took me away).

[Billy]

I will write for you (me). 

I have constructed intent of knowing the chasm is what is endearing.  You are not afraid as others are afraid.

[Billy]

my words will work better, but I like Phildel

[Billy]

I DO NOT want to be personally touched by the world.

What I am as a person become aware is untouchable!!!

[Billy]

For the time being, shift your responsibility for the manifested conditions into a consuming idea that your concern is not on the physical qualatitive state, but on a voracious appetite to acquiesce to things just as they are.

[serloco]

beautiful!

[Billy]

I read my own posts yesterday and the value of acquiescence in union with detachment is mentioned.  #103 thru #114 was good stuff.

[Billy]

The last post was general (not directed to you s.)

I am playing games which may or may not be relatable.  I have the influence of being given solid grounding help in the tonal.  That is being played against the deeply yearning aware billy (when so).

This deeply yearning aware billy draws from unimagineable (to you) understanding, that I am not a person philosophically connected to otherness on personal terms.  I want only the relation of subject/object or/and object/subject for existential sustenance.  This depersonalization ingrained in me is not of any effort of my own.  It is how I am. 

This is the billy that uses the exceptional communique with you s.  It is not born of need.  It is billy taking a look at billy > subject/subject and object/object.  Perhaps it is derek looking at derek this way too.

You are almost accessible.  There is a great deal of mutual crafting going on.

[Billy]

The last post was general (not directed to you s.)

I am playing games which may or may not be relatable.  I have the influence of being given solid grounding help in the tonal.  That is being played against the deeply yearning aware billy (when so).

This deeply yearning aware billy draws from unimagineable (to you) understanding, that I am not a person philosophically connected to otherness on personal terms.  I want only the relation of subject/object or/and object/subject for existential sustenance.  This depersonalization ingrained in me is not of any effort of my own.  It is how I am. 

This is the billy that uses the exceptional communique with you s.  It is not born of need.  It is billy taking a look at billy > subject/subject and object/object.  Perhaps it is derek looking at derek this way too.

You are almost accessible.  I think there is a great deal of mutual crafting going on.

[Billy]

So as to clarify..  I relate typically and with normal feelings..  just that phenomenologically, and at heart, I know my isolation, and I love my isolation.  I could elucidate why every person is phenomenologically isolated, but I will not (at least not now).

   Anyway, I am hardly conceited.  I am (smile) simply billy.

[Billy]

So as to clarify..  I relate typically and with normal feelings..  just that phenomenologically, and at heart, I know my isolation, and I love my isolation.  I could elucidate why every person is phenomenologically isolated, but I will not (at least not now).

   Anyway, I am hardly conceited.  I am (smile) simply billy.
   I may start writing more from the 'deeply yearning aware billy.'  Maybe this is preemptive, and I surely will seem conceited.

[Billy]

One of the ploys I began executing a few years ago, especially effective as I learned the feel of acquiescence (quality of detachment), was to to occasionally think to stop whatever I was doing mid-stream.

For example, I am totally engrossed watching a TV show, and in a nanosecond (click/off), I will to let it go.  Another example, I am in complex thinking about whatever (stop/finished), I will to let it go. Another example, an appetite for some food is being indulged, (cut/move on). 

I am not talking sacrifice or delay of gratification here; I am talking about a nuance of the experience of the power of detachment in a later stage > the pleasure of experiencing will.  This recognition of will amidst life happening is actually delightfully energizing.  Further, it is will of an idea that is the seedling of intent.  My will being active to change my attention, is a precedent for intent being activated by my spirit.

[Billy]

[Billy]

How can I continue this story?   I don't have the appetite to stay fixed on one idea or another long enough to write it..   and, nothing I say effectively holds enough weight for me to say it. (lol).

This morning my wife was looking for library books I had moved elsewhere.  She began to ask in irked (reprimand) way, where they were, but has found them mid-sentence.  I go to where she is picking up the books and give her a reprimand of my own (smile).  I push Susan frontside over the furniture, completely spooning her- palms cupping tits and groin to ass.   Overpowering Susan's resistance, I doggy pound her a dozen times firmly.

    I know you are unable to comprehend the significance; what I did amounted to murder.  She did not even bother with histrionics or threats, and moved on as if this were ordinary play.  OMG! LAUGH!!

   I have lightened up that of iron fortitude, thawed the frigid, sold ice to an eskimo, etc.  Even a year ago, no matter how innocent the gesture, I would NOT have my balls intact.

    If  some here likes that I write, engage me with a question etc. (NOT you serloco){JK}   .. cause otherwise I won't even know where to begin the next sentence

   Play around, provoke, whatever.  I have anecdotes up the ass.  I won't even be rigid.

[Billy]

Okay, you are included too serloco

[Billy]

How can I continue this story?   I don't have the appetite to stay fixed on one idea or another long enough to write it..   and, nothing I say effectively holds enough weight for me to say it. (lol).

This morning my wife was looking for library books I had moved elsewhere.  She began to ask in irked (reprimand) way, where they were, but has found them mid-sentence.  I go to where she is picking up the books and give her a reprimand of my own (smile).  I push Susan frontside over the furniture, completely spooning her- palms cupping tits and groin to ass.   Overpowering Susan's resistance, I doggy pound her a dozen times firmly.

    I know you are unable to comprehend the significance; what I did amounted to murder.  She did not even bother with histrionics or threats, and moved on as if this were ordinary play.  OMG! LAUGH!!

   I have lightened up that of iron fortitude, thawed the frigid, sold ice to an eskimo, etc.  Even a year ago, no matter how innocent the gesture, I would NOT have my balls intact.

    If  some here likes that I write, engage me with a question etc. (NOT you serloco){JK}   .. cause otherwise I won't even know where to begin the next sentence

   Play around, provoke, whatever.  I have anecdotes up the ass.  I won't even be rigid.   {though, I am inclined to erasure later, as you are welcome to do also any time here (keeping the thread cogent is only one reason among others)}