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[Billy]

Oh, and I LIKE you.  Definitely like you, am Like you, maybe am you.

[Billy]

Oscar Wilde — 'Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.'

  Actually, it is common knowledge that most powerful men want a woman in the bedroom with a natural ken to control and humiliates them sexually (reverse the role of power).
  I can't think of a better sexual turn-on than a woman who knows how to dominate me.  In some ways I got what I wanted too with Susan, though I might like her doing kinkier acts she won't touch (yet).

I don't dislike people really.  I dislike the waste of getting to know persons largely unknown to themselves.

[Billy]

C'mon Derekh.  I'm getting bored, and I don't like disappearing naguals.

[Billy]

I hope you are okay.

[serloco]

billy wrote:C'mon Derekh.  I'm getting bored, and I don't like disappearing naguals.
lol... sorry billy been being kept busy.. spirit will have me come back soon... read your messages just havet responded yet.. will do so soon.. *PooF!! (disappears!)*

[serloco]

Yes cunts they are, then need to be fed.. The world is an full potential embryo that awaits the seeds of the male.. alas those seeds are the seeds of intent and will, dreaming energy, and women can do that too.. A she-wolf I used to teach women to be..

I am always OK!!

I fucked the devil like a **** too. he liked it, i gave him my perceptions of himself and now he is an ally for me.. except the mean one,, the totaly rat faced evil one, him I killed, a few times resurrected too tho, but I keep him weak and empty or in oblivion. The Satans I know tho are perfectly awesome and love me very much..

[serloco]

Yeah I hate doting on unaware people, mostly i hate closeminded unaware people. or liars.. i hate dumb alpha males who try to demand reality e a certain way when its obviously not..

[serloco]

billy wrote:

BUT, you were EXACTLY right---you ALWAYS are!


 
Nothing to it really, just a born seer.

[serloco]

I like how i can make stores close down and force them to lower prices.. I use inorganic awareness and perceive myself as a king and them my allies, and thn i can state my intent and have it done.. tada!! I did it for target not they are all closing shop.. I have done it lots of time,, as the prince of the cities I frequent.. SOmetimes I state huge intents and then forget them and in a normal state down the road I see it through and remember by awesome power and recollect it back again when i see it and make more awesome intents.. I like being me.. BAM!!

[serloco]

Did you know billy that when you are walking in the street, or anywhere the people around you can be seen as just manifesting prior to your appearance? You can actually create the forms of women in your world, you can dream them. There are different ways to perceive it and have it align but I do it all the time.. I do it with books, and with internet pages, tvs and everything.. The moments are being manifested right here and now.. It is an iob awareness but you can use it in any world i found.. HArd to fathom how, it is beyond traditional reasoning but I can reason it now..

[Billy]

May I?  I live in a positively insulated life condition.  I contributed to that.  Now, if I were to face financial or bodily ruin, or dimentia, I'm certain I would not be happy about that.  Nevertheless, I consciously went about becoming perceptually secure.  That is to say, no typical states of mind are a threat.  The 'Patrick Ness-like/Demonic unknown' state was one of those last arenas.

Ideas of doubt, fear, damnation, death, despair now only feed me.  When I begin to have ANY negative emotion, I get that initial jolt what it pertains to in the unsavory sense and immediately an automatic switch goes on so I surge with the release of positive bodily chemicals.  I GET OFF on negative...... and so naturally I'm not afraid.  I have tried to invite them (negative feelings, states) but after I show my affinity they won't even stay around for me though I desire them so.  I made an earlier post to the effect that I'm becoming "stuck with 'good' emotions  and high self-esteem."  I was not joking.

  I saw your excitement in last post, 'walking down the street...' that you'll soon give that to me.  The fact you can reason it out may help, but I may get it empirically regardless.

  This afternoon I heard this-- it's for you-- I am a romantic.  (see next post)

[Billy]

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[Billy]

I SAW what you intended in your post to PLAY and not take my actions seriously.  The "OMG help me" was an interjection, an expression of my empirical understanding of what's next and how it whet my appetite.  I'm hungry.

[serloco]

billy wrote:May I?  I live in a positively insulated life condition.  I contributed to that.  Now, if I were to face financial or bodily ruin, or dimentia, I'm certain I would not be happy about that.  Nevertheless, I consciously went about becoming perceptually secure.  That is to say, no typical states of mind are a threat.  The 'Patrick Ness-like/Demonic unknown' state was one of those last arenas.

Oh billy.. I do not want to sound like a demon, because your awareness is quite ice in that regard, but I must say becareful what you wish for.. There are many threatening states of mind in Hell... Your very thoughts can turn to fire in your mind, and let e be the one to tell you that it is not pleasent. Or how about having your memory system rigged with a silver burning bullet that fires everytime you think of a memory..firing right through your brain as it burns.. Oh I could go on too, and things that make dementia look like a wal i the park. But billy... what is dementia? To you, for you, in YOUR mind? Define your reality carefully, and do not accept even the possibility of encountering these ailments, if you accept them as real. COnteract the threats with knowledge like "my mind is special because I know sorcery, and I can intend a fast and enhanced state that counteracts all such threats". MAke it up billy, use that imagination and create the knowledge you want in your life. Despose, rewrite, counteract the knowledge you do not want. I haven't been sick in 10 years ever since I accepted the teaching I am giving you. Not even a cold. btw I do not take flu shots either.

[serloco]

Secret billy, dont judge hell as real or existing.. never give power to evil.. then it does not manifest

[Billy]

Manifesting prior and creating forms are along the same lines, and so it will be very helpful to confirm what I SEE as the reason (of course beyond traditional reasoning to be sure).

THAT, what you said was a major point of emphasis here.  I comprehend, if not SEE THAT, concerning undesirable forms.   Thank you.

AND, that goes to the nature of the reason.  Doesn't it?

[Billy]

What you have just said in 'evil sorcery' and here, is bringing a sober shift to an entirely different paradigm.  Again, thank you.

[Billy]

You might remember I said I almost always have the empirical experience first, then it becomes confirmed with following manifestations or words.  I said to trinsic to not seek, but to SEE in 'teaching' one's self.  That is true for me.

I told my wife today in banter that, "you are my submissive."   I never said anything remotely like that before.  I have already started the shift to an entirely different paridigm.

[serloco]

That is much like the teachings of the tonal before the nagual, in effect one is setting up the dream, positioning the items of the tonal in order to align to the nagual, the as of yet unknown.

[Billy]

I am wondering about a sense of becoming lost, where laziness about previous knowledge is okay.  I mean lost, as in no direction (excepting sense of free). I mean lost, while at the same time reduced essentially to nothing else but the current--as in lazy such as by more and more disregard.

This has that quality of living FOR the moment, and a little less so 'in the moment.' (typically viewed unfavorably in psycho-babble.) 

Awareness is high enough, but maybe I don't give a *** about anything, unless until that moment I decide so.  This brings more unpredictable behavior, which for me can lead to the outlandish.

SO, I deal with this unleashed beast that is my self and begin a process of ultimate removal from a fixed person; most detachment practices to this point were child's play. 

When I draw to an interest it is not counterproductive-- if I don't draw to one it is not counterproductive. 

  Read ALL of underlined as a sentence*      Is that pretty much it?   I perfect PLAY.

[serloco]

I've been so lazy lately... Can't seem to get interest in much.. Just a blah feeling... I lay here and meditate constantly, and recollect power. Not much else lately. I do not want anything really. I will change soon tho, and become more active again.. Active in some kind of desire.. I seemed to have lost it all..

[Billy]

That's not what I was saying.  You make me laugh, literally.  OMG YOU ARE A PLAY ACTOR!!!

[Billy]

I guess I was saying I could be splintered into a zillion (lazy) billys, and handle that. (lol)

Go to IXtlan chat.  Never have done chat, ever.

[serloco]

I was just relating, and relaying how I feel lately. Been doing absolutely nothing.

[Billy]

POEM:     vulgar love

Go ahead. Have your desired object.
Yes, 'God' I am your subject.

You create me so you say.
PLAY is just your way.

Make it, make me.


SO, you are still alone.

No more ryhmes will do.
You are lost and found...
a collection of objects.

If I could hate, I would hate you.


make me part of your dream?
Why?

I will push you to have self-shame.
I do not have any at all.  I never did really.
If there were any--you should have it.


You have brought an us.

...a me and you.
Isn't THAT too much?

I mean, you will SEE...
you will SEE...

Are you so unitive and full of luck?
or are you just a dirty, nasty ***?

You would skip past that.
I would not let you.   I WANT to SEE it.

SEE I...... I myself...
I like the deprecation of your impotence.

You create alright.  SO?
What is EVERYTHING to me?

Though you may favor me,
I will not be impressed like the others.

You love me for this?
You could never impress me.


I will be the one that ran from you...

Scares you too.  I know this, and I don't care.
I don't respect you the way others do (think they do).
Nevertheless, STAY you dirty, nasty ***.

Show me vulgar love.
I LAUGH when in love.
 
dieu et moi
Both alone and joyful.