Casual Conversation

[serloco]

billy wrote:You do know now I would go to hell with you if I had to, and would thank you if that were possible. I refuse to fear or not face a fear that is of myself.  Thank you for bringing out that delectable quality.No that's loyaty. The demons do not bother me anymore really. They know my Name now. they know wht I am capable of, and I am either their worst enemy or best friend.

[Billy]

You identify enemy or friend more for aesthetics, because of course you are alert and ready.  When you speak 'alert and ready' you mean identify objectify friend, enemy, whatever for separation--the detached view.  This does not always have to be overtly conscious once you are a practitioner, but sometimes when fear enters you do it more consciously to retain or gain back your calm.

Is that right?

I mean fundamentally, everything is the same (same mind).  And, Is that right also?

[Billy]

S. you really could confuse me here, so I know to file any answer in the confused (unknown) file.  SEE, I can ask a question that could get another novice in trouble, but that is pat to allow not knowing without leaving the point of unconcern.

But I also understand exactly to pay attention to your question "Do I like math?"

[Billy]

I do or not do.  Either way I am aware, and ready as said.

[serloco]

billy wrote:You identify enemy or friend more for aesthetics, because of course you are alert and ready.  When you speak 'alert and ready' you mean identify objectify friend, enemy, whatever for separation--the detached view.  This does not always have to be overtly conscious once you are a practitioner, but sometimes when fear enters you do it more consciously to retain or gain back your calm.

Is that right?

I mean fundamentally, everything is the same (same mind).  And, Is that right also?But I have a flipper too, call me echo the dolphin..lol.. 

Everything is nothing, and everything may be anything for me here and now.. Before I look at it I can shift to look/project a certain outcome form this unformed potential and i can see my own projection on it.. clinging to the outcome is not the problem for me anymore when dealing with enemies, it is clinging to the past. Once the past is let go, with no attachent, then the moent is free to flow indiferently into friends, allies, helpers, servants etc.. the positions are endless I presume. now to find them all! You can you know, find omni.

[Finwe]

Great advice!

[Billy]

My autonomy is impeccable--yes there is my mind {with body (flipper)}, but there is also the world which I separate (or is separate)--but which is my RICH, heightened, and SENSATIONAL source of aliveness.
The 'world' is not germane to anything else for me.  The distinction of anything happening in the world (which I have reduced to you for my own clarity, (and in this particular, you telling me about omni) has no meaning--it is irrelevant/ excepting that it be  a mechanical toy that comes with batteries but no instructions on how to use it.  (oh I do want your instructons still)

   I don't really PLAY with toys--I PLAY with myself (laughing), and my imagination in every sense.  Tell me S. how can omni (or not omni) not be limited to my sense of purpose--in my case artful pretending.  I don't want to exist or not exist, and truthfully I would *** any conventional notion of God & his Demon spinoffs in the ass.  Actually, I would *** the REAL God up his ass too with a good deal of disdain.  I love my disposition to choose negation, worthless, base, disgusting, fucked up undertones that remain in my heart. They are leftovers from a fucking empty soul.  AND, I would choose to have it no ther way.  (REALLY DELICIOUS)

On second thought, God isn't even worth fucking up the ass.  Are we having fun yet?   But you S.   are completely welcome, and I want it no ther way for now. Give me omni-- YES I learned from you that I like power.

Yet I have no desire for it or anything of the world.  I HAVE DESIRE PERIOD!!!  Oh yeah I burn, my DESIRE consumes me in the best way.

   My wife heard me from another room my spontaneous "Ummm (Yummy).  She happened in and noted my sound of pleasure, (I was eating).   "Oh, your salad is good?"  I answered it isn't the salad. 
(wife's pause & something of, "What?")      "My life is yummy,"  I said.  (has been much so for many years)

  Anyone could identify the rejection by one's own daughter as 'unbearably' painful. So, I framed the 'pain' from my daughter since the very beginning with you intentionally for contrast.  Some of the pain was 'unbearably painful.'

Nevertheless, in the end I relished it the way no one else could.  (I FEED on negatives (and positives too).  Negative manifestation ultimately does not take energy from me, it gives me energy in spades.  And of course, the manifestations drift toward the conventionally pleasant-- as if it matters--my daughter's new disposition clearly reflects more positively than it did before the wedding.  But I am speaking of a principle here.  Existence sucks for others, it could suck for me too.  But I know to acquiesce to the world and love ****.  And, I figuratively do.  If you count licking my wife's ****, I like it literally too!

[Billy]

If I give you the impression I was stepped on often, that is ot the case at all.  My life reflected more the manifestations of high self-esteem.  I had influence on people's lives.

Yes, my recaptitulation focussed more on my degradation, because THAT was purposeful.  I KNEW already that want of conditions enslaved.  I taught myself to forget conditions for sensation of existential vitality.

Now, I have become relatively invulnerable.  I have peace and unfettered joy.  And, I MET YOU did I not?  (love)

[Billy]

My sisters and parents adored me, my older brother worshipped me, Often, from when in college forward, people I knew looked (up) to me, even my teachers who happily saw me surpass them in projecting.
I am glad you mentioned loyalty, and that you maybe SAW that-- I wanted to say as much, but did not feel I deserved to say so.  Now I do.  YES, I WILL be loyal to you; I am wired to be that way.

[Billy]

You have as an avatar the lion, Finwe, but carry the heart of a pussycat? (fun)     What is it you are doing here but fucking with your head?  Or is it giving head?  Literally true, as in giving a piece of your mind-- or is that a double entendre which is uncomfortable for you? (lol)  So, you don't like masturbation?

[Billy]

echo the dolphin/ the same for me.           THEN-- from now on, I read what's yours as mine (lol).  REALLY though, I have been doing THAT.  What potency.

My emanations are not without wings.  There is more frictionless spirit.  That spirit is mine (or as I allow-- OURS!)   I think I'll try b.s.  Is that funny or what?  Could be useful you know.  b.s.  Echoes simbiotic inclusion. 
 

Na, (bs) spirit is best when naked and secure from self-flattering image in careless words.

[Billy]

Finwe: I'd take my dry humor back, but can't edit.   I know nothing of you to say anything critical.  If your on this site though, you're astute enough to get that indiscrete remarks are all too common. Still, I apologize because it was at least borderline offensive, and for no reason.

[Finwe]

NP Billy, one of my oldest friends I deem as kin as the very most that also was my first teacher of this life in sense of physical reality, had me for chimaera and like a nagual of lion lineage, he is, gave me to it, everytime and anytime he could and in every aspect. I had him that on a bad account as I was stubborn and rather indulging in my apprentice's years, found out after half of my life later, the real wisdom he showed me and gold gave me, through not taking me in comparement at all, having me for what I, he or everyone came from and is return to.

[Finwe]

*...nagual of lion lineage, he is, gave me to eat it, everytime...

[Finwe]

It is better to be impeccable and without anything nor awaiting or reflecting anyhow from the start so that in the end you get what you sown and there is nothing t change and everything is how it is supposed to be, allways in warrior's world.

[Billy]

Finwe wrote:...... everything is how it is supposed to be, allways in warrior's world.

Thank you-- you know that hit the mark.

[serloco]

Thieves of life, those who claim life that is not their own, will be left only wanting, empty, and without.

[serloco]

so i broke it off with all my girls.. they were too draining

free and clear baby, fee and clear, totally detached it was easy.. some cried and one got upset, but it was worth it... i can't have relationships... i am about to leave the earth forever.. was gonna take one with me into the beyond but felt none were doable in that sense..

billy, i mean to respond to your posts.. gimmie some time.. spirit will guide me soon to your posts

[serloco]

leavin in the spring...

[Finwe]

Good luck Serloco, me too...

[serloco]

thanks fin

[serloco]

never met a good girl... could never find one.. i used to offer girls great power if they leaved their mates, their love.. did it hundreds of women, never one passed.. everyone let for power.. even the most faithful.. s'why i would never trust a woman.. given the chance for power or some form of temptation everyone failed.. never met a good girl.. tested hundreds too..

[Finwe]

Do you still believe, the "one" is still there somewhere or you stand aside from this, for us men and the more as sorcererers, longing and test of the feminime nature of universe, it's dominancy for forever now ?

[serloco]

//www.youtube.com/embed/0FfG_5JBVBQ

[serloco]

Finwe wroteo you still believe, the "one" is still there somewhere or you stand aside from this, for us men and the more as sorcererers, longing and test of the feminime nature of universe, it's dominancy for forever now ?No I do not Fin. I will never trut  woman with my heart after what i have seen. Do not even want one.