Casual Conversation

[serloco]

Nah I doubt it(taken out)... Doubt is good for some things...

[Billy]

Was going to add (per 'taken out') as you admirably did-- We are not going down.

[Billy]

I work for GOD, i.e. I am drowning in emptiness already.  I don't know of a threat to that.

[serloco]

I gave my life to the perfect God. The one who has answered my every prayer.. Seemed like the right thing to do since that ally knows everything and I trust him absolutely. He has given me ever gift I ever sought. So I say to him I am yours. Him is a he a she and an it.. He takes me from the dangerous worlds, and also helps me defeat any evils I encounter... I would be dead without him. He has saved me any times.

[serloco]

I have many great tales of working with God.. But this one came to mind, not the most recent one but the one that popped into my head.. I was making lights in the sky one night. and using some of my allies.. One light first, small, then another like flashing stars.. Then another ally made them like diamonds.. I was happy that I could command such light.. We made a few then I said "what about God?" then BOOOOM the entire sky lit up all at once. Form one spot rolling out across the entire night sky!! Fabulous. Perfect.

[Billy]

You are the perfect God/ally for me.

[Billy]

Finwe, the Flyers play tonight.  Anticipation.   Thank you for your ritual.

[serloco]

Curse your enemies billy, tell them what they are as you watch, place on their bodies what you need for them to lose.. Curse their forms, their minds, temporarily.. I wouldnt be too harsh tho, just things like they make many mistakes.. The coaches hate the team and like yours etc etc.. Command your team, bless them, even with magic.. The time is NOW billy, it is happening as you watch it only, every thought is manifesting, control what you know of your team... make them fast and make sound..

[serloco]

I will ride billy, and I do, the power you place within me. Many have called me God and many times too, I used to wonder if i somehow was, but alas I am not The God, but only A God.. God has showed me how to be a God-like being, powerful to do nearly anything i want, but it all comes from The God. The God who perpetuates even Gods like himself..

[Billy]

I will fix that flaw in you (that you are not thee GOD)  (lol--? really though)  I would say I am the only honest entity until I met you.  (honest, you know > REAL about EVERYTHING)  Mistakes maybe, but not willful blindness to the truth.  My first teacher made me look at myself.....those first glimpses into me/you were disturbing, but chose to SEE.

[serloco]

But alas I have witnessed the Omnipresence, and have become one with it too, it knows everything as I once did too. But I am not there, and yet there is something still there billy, it still knows and leads me to what i seek.. I will again merge with the omni, and use it, harness it, and i even command it to my bidding, but alas I am here, and there is nothing out there for me, aside from the waY i set. yes the world is my vision, I am the life and the way, but I am not everything there ever was at this time.. I m in duality in this moment, so that one way, one life may become many, and many directions be made and perpetuate my life into many, my one direction into many, my one possibility into many.

[serloco]

//www.youtube.com/embed/awXDkm2RkVM

SARA BAREILLES LYRICS
"My Love"

He bends his breath around my name

And I am humbled

I feel small and plain

But his arms are angels by his side

You need not ask if they're open, just how wide

His lips are day

And his skin is night

Oooh, and with our love we conjure up the twilight

His fingers are music to my soul

And I feel his song play everywhere I go

My love, my love is on his way

I can't wait to see the day

I thankfully lay me down

Oh, my love, my love is on his way

I'm waiting patiently

But if you see me now

My love, please hurry

He loves with rhythm

And paints with flame

He comes in pieces with no name

I won't need answers, I'll just know

Cause I've read the sonnets about his soul

He can be ordinary in the best ways

And still dance like a poet

Through every word he says

My love, my love is on his way

I can't wait to see the day I thankfully

Lay me down

My love, my love is on his way

I'm waiting patiently

But if you see me now

My love, please hurry

All that I never knew

Can you see me now

All that I never said

Can you see me now

He makes me crazy

He makes me cruel

Oh, but I pray he makes me anything

But a fool

Oooh, my love
Please hurry

[Billy]

Adjacent to what you said, I am going to share with you.  My daughter changed just after 10, when she entered early adolescence with drugs, alcohol, sex and gave up nice friends to hang with untrustworthy persons.  I was there for her at the point she nearly died from alcohol poisoning-- we had been closest of father daughter before all of this.  I know my daughter was too ashamed to draw back to me.  At one point I lost sight of that and turned it back on myself very briefly.
  My daughter overcame all this to graduate Summa Cum Laude and launch a nice career, and I overcame the last major hurdle regarding judgement of externality.

   My daughter is NOW communicating in the brief moments we do with a tone of connection, even warmth and remembering.  But, again you will misunderstand as when I laid this all out originally in 'negative' connotation. 

  I got to the 'sacred' disposition I have now by forfeiting the value judgements of situations, conditions and life in general.  It is irrelevant to me that my daughter is now warm as opposed to cold, in so much as it concerns me.  Yes, I want for my daughter to be happy, and I know a strained relationship with her father is not good for her.  That said, it does not change that joy, laughter, and silence of the heart are to be UNCONDITIONAL.

   It was not obvious to SEE that once.  I SEE that clearly now.  I live like that.  Now, you understand.

   This is what one is out for--- why one chooses the path of DETACHMENT, and why one recapitulates to make that separation come vibrantly alive.  We learn now to repossess EVERYTHING because it can no longer bind us.  Even in our clinging desires we now trust our own unconditional authenticity.

   This is free.  AND following Don Juan, believing this is the trump card, but you can't just believe and let it go at that.  To believe your own authenticity, you have to choose and go deeply to the heart of it.

YOUR heart.  YOURS S. / billy.  Man, I do effing love you S. / billy.

[serloco]

Thanks for sharing.. reminds me of the birdy song.. "I give my heart but i lock it up, this flame has been burnt enough" It shows how one still loves but is detached from all outcome, and will not allow love to hurt oneself, or expect it even to continue.. I am good enough without it and do not need it, and yet i love anyways, even though i foresee the sting of it coming my way.. i do not deprive myself of love and loving, being loved, i am and do, but i deprive myself the attachment and the need, as well as the pains of rejection and the ones who use love to harm, and suck off it, use it for control and games of manipulation etc..

I do not follow don Juan anymore. much of his teachings were limited and weak, and at other times he was strong and true.. i do not deny he led my way for a loonng time and into great power, and beyond many of his teachings. Yet some of his teachings were and are at the pea of power and can lead you to anything, while others if followed lead to pain and hurt, and even death. As a man of power who is even beyond many of his teachings I do not cling to anything, nor bow to anyone, my life is young and my spirit immortal, i know the power that runs through these veins and the choice that is mine to keep.. I do not enter into don Juan's dream very often, or his gaits of power, for i have found my own way and truths, and many of these are built from the Matus foundation, many bricks come from him and his allies, however they tower onward through my own works and designs.. so thanks to don Juan and to myself for the life and the way i have built.

Much love to you billy.

[Billy]

Come to think of it, I SEE nothing but joy, laughter, and the underlying silence in everything you choose to share with me, including the power.  THAT is how I SEE you S.

[serloco]

Thank you billy, that is close to perfectly how i am inside. I laugh at my enemies and at their games, joyful and thnkful for my life, and the power i have, and the power and genius to see clearly. The joy in having the answers to the worst problems and the power to make the way into the heavens even from the depths of fire burning agony i have experienced in passing. Oh yes my choices have led me through pain and anguish undescribable, fire to the point of having my body melt and silver bullets shot through my skull to kill me, and the worst possessions known to the worst dreams of mankind. oh the torment i have overcome for people, to save them and rid them of the evils.. yes i am proud and strong, and nothing can keep me down, i have treaded my worst fear and conquered them all.. the delights of silence after the burning mind states i have endured is peace beyond explaining. the power billy is a joy to possess. the knowledge that this single man has done every dream he has imagined is bliss. oh yes my soul does rejoice in the knowledge of being unable to die, and the knowledge i possess is pride and strength for my huge ego, and yet i take no shame in it, for who can tell me i am wrong having beat the cancers of thousands of people and thr worst diseases i have cured.. yes it comes with ego and so what? Who can stand more righteous then myself? For i knwo of none in histpry who have done what i have done, my story is a work of fantastic fiction that no mortal who does not SEE would believe. yes i am a champion of helll and glorified in the heavens. Indeed I am proud but alas would be nothing if not for the path that created me and the people who oth sttod against me defeated and the ones who never lost faith in me.

[Billy]

No need to be falsely humble with me either.  Had you not encompassed 'evil' (or at some time personified it) as well as goodness, I would find you disingenuous.  I WANT truth.

[serloco]

Honest I am billy. Except when i need to lie. I used to be unable to lie for a long time even, i could not do it.. Truth would always come out from me.. I had to learn tho how to actually lie again because of the evil i encountered.. i need to lie to them and so i said "I will b able to lie again and that was of course truth.. i learned to bend ruth into lies, and make any lie into truth.. i learned a great deal then and fabricated great lies that would alter reality around me.. i prefer the truth, for it is light. i have not lied to you nor anyone here about anything. truth is what you will get from me..

[serloco]

Truth has great power in it, it is the way.

[Billy]

The Flyers won a very very close game last night.  Last year the Dayton Flyers beat Stanford University in biggest tournament.  Dayton is a really small college.  See  a few pictures of kids (daughter too) celebrating win.
http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketb ... p-30-years

Thanks Finwe and S.

[Billy]

Flyers will need to win nine of their last twelve games to get back in this year's NCAA (biggest) tournament to compete.

[Billy]

serloco--I've done it to you many times billy boy. I do it to many in the nagual.. Sometimes i let them see and know it and other times I let them think it is themselves. 

I am getting to uncanny pitch everywhichway.  Most of what you say brings smiles, glee, or laughter.  I'm glad however you do it. 

I will try to keep our interdialogue here  so not to monopolize different threads.  I am getting younger.

[serloco]

good job billy. i knew you were too..

[Billy]

My vow of faithfulness was genuine.  Nevertheless, I also SAW thereafter it was in my best interests too.

[Billy]

Is it that I stake my ground? Have I need of my stated clarity and disposition to move forward?  I know I can state these, but I can also instruct my allies (such as yourself) by way of forming a question to tell me what I know.  Is this not true?