billy's basic detachment practice

[Billy]

Well, anyway, yes.   I know you know trust is in the equation going either way.  You can stop toting your insecure vulgarity now (lol)

[serloco]

Keep dreaming.. Detroit is now dead and burning and the roads lead into my very own wastelands. There is no way into the old city from here, try and take me... you can't cut me cutter boy.. keep dreaming.. My will would break the cutters and barely feel it.

Edit- My friend Jaded thought you were affectonate and so sends you a hug. She made me do it.. It doesnt fit in this message tho. aybe i am a wimp!!

[serloco]

or how about instead of Serloco/Billy we had Zombie Billy? it can be arranged.

[serloco]

here is a fight song for ya billy..

[Billy]

I just replied to video submission in sorcery thread.  Where is the curvy hook?

Besides, I am going to be your amenable friend selves......   .... love

[Billy]

I probably was not paying attention, and that was a gift.  Apologize there (smile)

Am I confusing you??  Muhahahaha as you say-- it's useless for you to continue a rant

[Billy]

And yes, the apology had sarcasm

[serloco]

good boy.. thought you were losing it, back tracking, scared.. ****!

what do'ya think yer gonna do copy and paste ourselves onto everyone in the world? I been there before, we were Kings and Queens.. we all went free.. what a dream/reality.

[Billy]

[url=

[Billy]

What???

Dealing with someone who has their own ideas for a change??

I am free

You like them apples? 

laugh

perfect

[serloco]

nice song, we liked it.

[serloco]

oh they had their own ideas, at one time, we just created a system override.. in anther place tho they have none of their own ideas, just what you feed them, yet you can give the life and thoughts of their own too.. if you want.. it can be fun, and as you know we all gotta eat and so.. feeling hungry still, wanna make some people to eat... zombie boy?

are you so sure those thoughts are your own there billy?

[Billy]

Yes I do!  Yes, I definitely want the fuel.

[Billy]

I'm a hunter.

[Billy]

Can I have a thought of my own please?  I'm begging you!

[serloco]

Not all of them.

[serloco]

who's feeding who? who's eating who? ever been to Frankenstein's diner before billy? and who is the main course for tonight? any ideas? i've got an infinite blood/brain bank. who do you wanna be billy? you are what you eat!

[Billy]

Should answer all your questions.  You're sitting and I'm cutting [url=

[Billy]

Behave yourself.

[Billy]

With fucked-up circular rhetoric coinciding with my waning energy, I found that I was mirroring and manifesting a 'down' state of existince the last hours.  Awareness of awareness needs reinforcement by awareness--lol > I reread my own writing too; there is none better.)

(REPEAT)  "... I draw from the phenomenon of an emptied soul. When I detach, I really am detached.
... I become sort of omniscient; I know because there is nothing to know.... I feel the presence of my own body."

SEE > Not talking **** here.  I remember (re-assume) the state of worth-negation > For a fucking fact I KNOW EMPIRICALLY (not just reason or thoughts) I am meaningless.  This experience is foundational.

So long as you cannot overcome your fear of encountering this existential state, all effort and detachment will be a circularily futile waste.  TELLING YOU!!!!!!!  ....... Because >

this is the womb for unmitigated, unattached awareness >  power...freedom...authenticity...desire...passion...wisdom...sobriety...undiluted sadness and joy... 

When you yourselves are visited by such 'down' states I know where you look... but of course > to some variation of that which is manifestly apparent (even if it's your warrior psycho-babble).  Go ahead, think about what I said. TRUE??

I taught myself to pay attention not to do that.  Instead, I formed the habit of IMMEDIATELY KNOWING my void.  (Sensation of self-abandonment, even forlorn surrender from the 'down,' and going even deeper still > descending to where I lose the battle >  full realization of such.

What'cha think happens???   Natural, naked awareness is what happens, and ego billy SELF ascends  > REALLY!
...... and... power...freedom...authenticity...desire...passion...wisdom...sobriety...undiluted sadness and joy...

BUT, ya have to first intend and allow the full brunt of self-annihilation.  It is horrid at first to succumb to such stark, truthful admission that one can enter a state of no worth.  I PROMISE you won't lose your SELF.

   Reason-based directives can help coax you to the 'emptiness' I talk about.

[Billy]

Okay, I'll go back a ways to regurgitate some of what I was 'taught.'

   Self-reflection must be understood widely as neurosis (sickness), & of course you all get that here on this forum. 

   However, you work to make it a living knowledge through opportunities of conscious detachment.  It is a 'mortal sin' to not identify resentment and create separation when 'you know' its potential.  The mistake most make is to equate such opportunity as a time to improve one's self.

   The DISTINCTION has to be in the clarity to depersonalize one's self entirely {it makes little difference whether you resent or don't resent, like or do not like, etc. > do or don't (anything) > you don't see that now.
   Remember what I said that detachment practice at the crux must be void of emotions and otherly judgement.  You are never going to BE a better person.  Julio will be Julio.  serloco will be serloco.  YET, emotions bring the riches, so you desire to separate only from the trapping, repetitious, sick self-reflection.


    Now the first book I received from my mentor was The Art of War.  Most of it is dull to me, but there are some masterpieces within.  The ultimate gem there is the concept of 'death ground.' 

...to be continued

[Billy]

By the way and not derogatory, it really helps if you know that you are always going to be the same **** as you are now.  That is not an issue.

   Anyway...deathground...

   Sun Tzu- Art of War- When army is outnumbered and about to be slaughtered by the enemy, the general intentionally reinforces the futility, and actually removes any avenue and hope for escape.  Tells how one general burned the few boats available when backed to the river's edge.

  The general wants each warrior to SEE THIS fate of death.  The warrior accepts his (her) condition, and becomes energetically ferocious and literally stands on the ground of one's life and death.

  There is perfect parallel to serloco's piece on healing:

serloco- "...Muting it {death} to cancel the judgement and the knowledge that made the illness {death condition} what it is.  It upon being cancelled is free to become any other form...may be guided...

Two sides of motion, and time, is both positive and negative, with a zero balance.  Zero is muted and allows an indifferent, or equal value upon which no resistance is present in either or any way.   Negative removes the value of the illness {death condition} and takes it away, allowing the energy to be transmuted, or transformed into a new direction, or a new positive. This balance works in regards to time and motion because for something to move it requires free space, or an empty space to move into. This moving into space is called free energy once the values get assigned the zero value attribute. The indifference. Intent is indifferent at its core...

   Using death is what the healer {warrior} is doing. He makes the free space needed, commanding the time allotted to it's formation and freeing up the pattern by refusing to support or sustain it and instead seeing that it is a shifting essence and one that can die, or be made into something else."


  The empirical experience here is the nuts and bolts of freedom.  Freedom (nagualism too) has contextual structure. 

   I will articulate so this structure is obvious.  (serloco knows death ground well, and has given several accounts, and even looks at its structural workings objectively IN REAL TIME! > truly, fucking unbelievably astonishing to me)

[Billy]

realtime is meant as 'fluid'

[Billy]

I'm going to prepare you for your deathground.

[Billy]

I am going to develop cogently and with no rush over some time.  I will tell you serloco has been my mirror for nearly a year.  So I trust his judgement as my own.  If he would be so gracious, he will intervene to modify, correct, or even obliterate my doings altogether and I will be unconditionally grateful.